DeputyJess Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 I've been having a lot of problems with this group of girls that hang in the same circle of friends as mine. They like to start rumors and basically just talk smack. I've ignored them - even when they got my best friend to turn against me. Basically, they've kind of made my life a living hell for about 9 months now I've been married two years now and have known my husband for about five years. This morning, I found out that he cheated on me a while back during a rough patch in our relationship. I'm able to forgive him because I know he loves me and I love him and it was almost 4 years ago, BUT the girl, on the other hand, is the main girl that started all these ridiculous rumors about me and I HATE her. Back when this happened, I read the e-mails that she sent him and thats how I found out about it all. He told me that they only made-out then. I believed him and we got back together after a while. She assumes that I only think that they had kissed, and that's what I had thought... until about 6 hours ago. She was actually trying to become close friends with me at the same time which really sets me off. OK, so why's it coming up now? I had a silly dream last night where she came up to me and told me that she "F*d my boyfriend." I told my husband that I had the dream and he started acting goofy (not expecting that). I could tell what I just said made him TOTALLY uncomfortable and I knew something was up so I made him come out with the truth. It hurts, but it was a long time ago and I've made my mistakes (none of them involving having sex with any other man, though). I'm not stuck up, but this girl is horrible, annoying, fat, and ugly; whereas, I'm not, and that's why I think she singled me out... that and the fact she was in love with my then-boyfriend now-husband. I know that I've got her on looks and smarts and I also have the man she so desperately wanted, so you would think that would be good enough revenge, but it's not. I'd really like to slap her in her ugly, makeup-caked face, but I'm a little beyond that stage in life. I know that she's going to be a the concert my husband's band is playing next weekend and I'm sure she'll be drooling all over the stage and trying to pretend she is cool while giving me death stares. I'm not a confrontational person, even when I really want to be, so I passively just take it. After hearing the truth this morning; however, I want to really, really embarrass her and make her feel as horrible as her actions have made me feel. I mean, she slept with my boyfriend, wrote him e-mails about how horrible I was for him, pretended to be my friend, quit talking to me abruptly, turned a lot of people against me with lies, created annyomous myspace profiles and started messaging my husband with lies I just can't stand it anymore and ignoring it isn't working... it's just making it worse. I need to fight a little fire with fire. I'm sure some of you will stay just get over it and I know that's good advice, but a lot of this has come to light recently and the "smack talking" and nonsense was going on for a while without me knowing. I feel like I've been made out to be a fool and I'd just like her to feel how it was in my shoes for a bit. (And in slight defense of my boyfriend, when I first found out that something was up all that time ago it was thru his e-mails. But I did also check his replies to her and there were only two, both telling her that he had made a mistake, to leave him alone and he wanted to get back together with me - and this is before he knew that I found out so I truly believed it to be genuine mistake on his part.)
cherrymoon Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Been in a similar situation. Hun no matter how much it hurts you just have to walk away from it. It will rot your marriage if you start on the revenge road. Even today I want to say something but I can't and won't. I had so much posted up on the internet by her. She accused me of threatening her to my H. She went as far as to hand in her notice (it was a crappy job she has a masters and there she was in a little shop, she was going to move on) saying it was because she was afraid of me. It really hurts, once something is written down there is no taking it back. If you are ok with what happened between them, which in truth you aren't but it is easier for you to be angry with her than him. I advise you to rise above it. look amazing, cut her out of your social circle. The best revenge you can have is to make your marriage work. If she wants your husband then every time she sees you happy with him will cut her like a knife. Keep your dignity. Think up some very clever remarks about you and your H that will make her feel inadequate. But don't become obsessed. I would love my day. I know better. good luck
Geishawhelk Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 If you have proof, and this is impinging on your personal life and affecting your R. with your H, you could get a restraining order on her, but that would play right into her hands, and it wouldn't shut her up. So I'm afraid you're going to have to practice the condescending look. What would be really great is if your H could actually agree to unite with you and if she's crawling all over the stage at the concert, go up to her, quietly bend down and whisper in her ear that she should scram because as far as he;'s concerned she's a fat loser with no prospects and he's tired of seeing her. Does he support your stance? Does he know what she's been doing? How does he feel about her? he's either with you or not......
Author DeputyJess Posted February 3, 2009 Author Posted February 3, 2009 Thanks, you guys! To answer Geishawhelk questions, I think that he is with me, but I'm not sure he understands why it's a big deal with me with this particular person, even though I've tried to explain. He knows that she's been really, really mean to me and he told me that he quit seeing her because she was so annoying. Not quite the response I wanted... cherrymoon, I told my husband that if she comes up to him to just ask her, "Why in the world would I want to talk to you? F off!" but we'll see if that happens.... (I had an emergency protection order issued last spring against her and another girl. I guess they hated me so much they wanted to cause me "physical harm" - I don't even talk to these people or interact with them at all and generally try to stay away from any place that they would be at. I completely ignore them and it still gets to that level. WTF, ya' know?!) I'm just so tired of feeling helpless in situations like this. I have gotten a lot of negative drama thrown my way for about the last year and I don't know what I did to deserve it. It's like every time I go out I have people that just make fun of me and talk smack. I'm so sick of it and it makes me feel like crap. And here I find out that this infidelity went on and it really hits me in my heart. These nasty girls just get away with everything, it makes me miserable and there is nothing that I can do. I could go out and find a killer outfit and have my hair done and look awesome, but they'll find a way to rip me apart.
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