She said she wants to live the single life and find out what she really wants

[Super Nova]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I don’t know where to start and I don’t want to waste a lot of time on this. OK boy meets girl we have been talking for 3 months we never were going out but she said we were kind of boyfriend and girlfriend. She would text me and tell me I was here sexy man etc. She would tell me she missed me and wanted me to come back over when I left her house at night. I was the only guy allowed into her home I am mid/high 20s she is low 20s. I think she is wonderful I can make her laugh and she loves my company and she loves having conversation with me and playing games and flirting too. She said she wants to do all types to sexual things with me via text message and I do the same. I kissed her on the lips for new years and a few weeks later she kissed me when I was dropping her off at school, she started to call me more and we kissed every time we saw each other. All was going great it seemed, then she went out for girls night out and she did not contact me for 2 days, I get a email telling me she wants to live the single life until she finds out what she wants in life, but she wants to continue to be friends, I told her I am ok with this.. I was lying because I really am not ok with this, so the next day she asked if I wanted to come over and hang out with her, I said yes and we played a game and talked about everything but the break off and how I felt. So of course she is texting me and I txt back and she comes back with another text just to get me to text back etc.. The other night we play an online game and I told her I miss her etc. She said I know and she was sorry. After the game I said ok I’m done playing and got offline. She txt me asking if I was mad at her, I said no and goodnight. She said goodnight cutie. Twist my sister told me that she slept over a guy’s house she knew after the girl’s night out at the club. I think this makes a ton of sense she might have a thing or she might have slept with me. Keep in mind we only kissed on the lips and we sex txt each other. She always told me she wants to take it slow it’s the kind of girl she is, this really made me happy but now I find out she might have slept with a guy on the first night, I don’t get it at all. Is she two people? Is she slow with the good guys and fast with the bad boys.. Now my real question I do want her back, second I would like to be a sex buddy with her because I just want it from her. But the best would be to get back with her.. My question is do I tell her I can’t handle being friends with her because I really had feeling for her and I can’t see her with another guy and I don’t want to just be a friend. Or do I stay friends with her and hope if I play it cool and not act like its bothering me and act like I am over with her and see if I can turn it around.. What to do.. Help.. I don’t want to lose her as a friend but I am hurt to see her. I’m so damn lost, I don’t know what to do so I am just going along with this, and I know she will be asking me to watch a movie with her next.. Am I the emotional support guy and she has a sex buddy on the weekend? This really sucks, and this goes out to all the other guys on this thing feeling the same. Girls get what they want when they want it, it’s a crazy system. I still can’t believe this is the stuff that happens on a little planet called earth. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[GoneButNotForgotten]

Ok man, in the future can you make some paragraphs? Doesn't have to be english 101 style just broken up because the giant wall of text is really hard to read.

 

It sounds like she likes you, but wants to keep it on the back burner while she goes out with friends and does whatever she wants. At this point I would pull back completely. If she asks why, I would tell her the truth. At this point you cannot be her friend without your feelings for her getting in the way, and you think it would be best to back out so that you can find someone who does return the feelings.

 

Now in that, you actually have to do it as well. You can't just say that end then continue on in the constant contact thing. A lot of people go through life saying they don't know what they want and are trying to find themselves blah, blah, blah... What it really means a lot of the time is that they don't want to settle down and want to go about life frat boy/ sorority girl style until they find someone that they can settle down with.

 

I know pulling back is not something that you want to do. But you cannot force someone into a relationship. And any games, guilt, or tricks are not the way to start a healthy relationship. Back off and let lime sort it out. I can feel your pain and frustration. I got dumped by my ex for similar reasons after a 3 1/2 year relationship. She suddenly decided that she wanted to experience more. Looking back on it now a couple months later. I feel a hell of a lot better that she decided to do it now then after I had proposed like I was planning to do.

 

Give her all the space she wants and more. You will be amazed at how quickly people work out the crap in their heads when they realize the other person is not a doormat.

[Super Nova]

Listen I cried alot, and i feel i could handle being her friend and seeing her once in awhile vs. breaking it off for awhile however I really am saying this because it will be tuff to let go she will probably find another and forget me or I will find another, but if i see her once in awhile and we both end up finding other people so be it, but just by seeing her might keep us into each other, or her into me. is it OK for me to just do nothing for awhile do you think? Just when she calls me or text me just write back and only see her once in awhile like after she asked me to come over a few times say yes on the second so i am not a doormat..

 

Or is it best to tell her look, I cant be friends with you because I like you more than a friend so its kind of impossible.. If I say i need to get over her she might end up forgetting about me all together, I get what you are saying she might miss me when I am gone and this will be the best of all worlds. Damn..

 

I wrote a nice letter telling her I cant be Friends with her because I love her and I thought there was more and she is so beautiful etc.. I never told her i loved her, just told her how amazing she looked. I would like to send you the letter to see what you think be it to pathetic or what not.. I am still just waiting i don't want to do something and not follow through.

 

I am sorry I am all over the place.. god help you for helping me.. and that quote at the bottom is very cool

[EmperorR]

Never be friends with a ex especially so soon after a breakup your just setting yourself up to constantly getting hurt.

 

Are you okay with her dating screwing other guys, her saying she's happy with the new john doe? If you can honestly say 100 percent of fine with it then you can be her friend. If you cannot don't even think of being her friend. I remember I tried with my ex but all I would hear is About her new boy to.

 

Go Nc tell her you have to work on yourself and can't go from loving her to be friends ditto if she doesn't understand.

[Ramrod]

Use direct honest communication. Life is too short for regrets. If she does not reciprocate your feelings of wanting to be together as a couple she will have to let you know one way or the other after receiving your message. If you do not receive a clear-cut definite response from her you will also have an answer to your question. When I look back on my life there are many regrets, more often regarding actions not taken and words not spoken. Don't become a miserable **** like me. Put it out there and don't regret doing so. It takes balls to survive in this world. Show this woman your balls.

[Ramrod]

Uh, do that later, after she reads your letter. Your letter should be written from your heart. The balls you send her a picture of in an email later on if you want.

[GoneButNotForgotten]

You can send the letter. But I think emperor and I are more on the same page. Being friends with someone that you want to be more than friends with will only lead to pain and frustration. When my ex broke it off with me she said I could always call if I needed a friend or whatever other crap to try and remain friends. I told her right then and there that friendship is not an option for the time being. At a later date who knows how I'll feel. Maybe at that point I can be her friend and nothing more. For the moment I don't even need to know that she is on the same planet as me. It doesn't help.

 

If you back off and try to move on only one of two things will happen. She will realize the mistake she made and try to come back. (at that point it is your call on weather it is worth the effort) Or, she moves on too. And if she moves on then it was not going to work out anyways. It sucks and is painful. After a point though it becomes more just an annoying thought that you try and push out as fast as possible.

[Super Nova]

I never sent the letter, I did tell her on the phone that I really thought she was into me and I thought she led me on, she said, She was really into me.. My best friends girl is friends with her, and she told my friend that she was so busy with nursing school that she does not have time for a boyfriend.. Her mother said she is not to go steady, I really think I can be her friend because I was wrong about that guy at the club, it was her friend that was into that guy.. I really think she needs time away from this stuff, and I am not going to call her I will wait for her to call me, and I will be busy too.. We hung out on Sunday and we played some games.. I really don't know what to do, but i just cant stop talking with her because I love her so much.. I think if I tell her i cant be friends I will never have a shot, now maybe I will if I can be her friend. If she meets another guy there will be problems.. I could tell her this.. I could tell her I cant be her friend because when she meets another guy i will not be cool with it..

 

 

She did tell me about her ex and how he said he could not be friends with her for that same reason. I told her that I was going to write her a letter telling her I could not be friends with her, and she said if I did that she would have came over begging for be to be her friend..

 

I don't know what to do.. Do you think if i tell her I cant be friends I would have a shot at this working ?

 

I am lost.

 

I am not so upset because I did cry alot, I wrote a ton of stuff down about my feelings, I wrote letters to her that I never sent and it made me feel better without making her feel bad or guilty.

 

I think i will let this ride out, she is having fun with her friends girls night out, and I remember she told me when she went out to the club when we first started talked that she said to her friend she was not going to dance with anyone because she is talking to a guy she really likes, this guy was me..

 

I really think she might need time for her school, and she cant be thinking a bout a boyfriend, her mom said she was not to go steady until she is done with school. and I know she listens to her mom..

 

Lets see what happens, but hell its the times like this that make the good times so good. If i was with her I would be upset about something alse i bet..

 

You guys are really great, thanks,.... ALot...