almost on her way back

[mtom49]

so ive had a girlfriend for 4 years and we broke up three weeks ago,

since weve been broken up weve kept good communication, weve went out for drinks once and had a great time, then this past sunday i took her out for dinner,

 

when we went out for dinner we ended up stayin at the resturant talking for a good 3 hours, after dinner we went back to her apartment at school and watched a movie and eventually it got late and instead of driving an hour and a half to my school she let me stay the night with her,

 

so we shared a bed, cuddled a bit, shared a kiss or two, and in the morning i drove her to class and she leaned in and gave me a kiss goodbye and told me to call her somtime

 

so that night (monday) i gave her a ring just to tell her goodnight and ended up talking for awhile, then again tonight(wensday) i ended up talking to her and our conversation went well but she seem a little disconnected. maybe she was real tired,

 

but i can tell she is still reluctant to jump back into a relationship with me, we both have a great time when were together and i hate to be without her but i think she is trying to find her place in the world lately and i think shes haveing a hard time with it.

 

so i guess my question is if i should ask her to go out again this weekend, i know well have a good time, or should i just let her have some time alone to sit around and work on school work and think.

 

also is there anyway i can help her with finding herself, or is that a solo thing

 

any advice is appreciated,

thanks, mike

[oneofakind]

First off, what are the reasons why you guys broke up? 4 years is a long time to be together...by then most people (but not all) know whether or not they want to spend the rest of their lives together in marriage.

 

 

but i can tell she is still reluctant to jump back into a relationship with me, we both have a great time when were together and i hate to be without her but i think she is trying to find her place in the world lately and i think shes haveing a hard time with it.

 

This sounds like to me that she doesn't want a relationship right now b/c wants to enjoy her time being young and single instead of being tied down in a relationship. People are ready for steady commitments which lead to marriage at different ages. Maybe she felt that she wasn't ready for that type of commitment right now. As far as finding her place in the world, this is something that she must do on her own. It's part of growing and maturing as a person.

 

Unless you're willing to wait until she finds her place, I would move on and look for someone who is an emotionally mature person who knows what they want in life. I know it's a difficult decision to make after being with someone for that long, but life is too short to be wasted on the wrong person. Oftentimes, people will try and change people in relationships instead of accepting them for who they are.