Little Kitten Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 I've been this guys friend for about 5 years and his girlfriend for 2 of those years. I bent over backwards for him to make sure he was happy and healthy. I took care of him when he almost died on me. I didn't leave his side until he was better. I did so much for him...even when I was just his friend..He had broke up with with his last girlfriend Nov. 12 of last year and got a brand new girlfriend Nov. 21. TEN DAYS LATER!! Here's the messed up part. He gets engaged to his girl around the 12th of DEC!!! He doesn't know this girl. Mind you he's already cheated on this girl at least 4 times. I feel used because of the relationship we've had for all of this time. I told him that I was never talking to him again...that I regret everything between him and wish it never happened if I knew it'd end like this and I told him goodbye. He has been texting my phone asking me what's up, sending me chain messages not appropriate for an engaged man. He sent me a message saying, "I know it's past due and you don't have to respond back. Just wishing you a Happy New Year." I ignore all of his text messages. I thought that would have been it..but he's called my friend asking about me, telling her to tell me "Hi." and strangely wanting to hang out with her...Okay not a big deal...he's hung around her with me before...but then he calls my friend who LIVES ALL THE WAY IN NEW YORK...he's only seen him once and has never ever called him...he only called him the last time we weren't talking...(He's probably used a few of his friends to contact me, too) He also popped up at my mom's job to say "Hi." (He told his mom that he wasn't gonna talk to my mom again.) When my mom asked him if he was happy she told me he didn't look too happy when he said yes. She knows his body language very well...Anyway he's called my phone twice already...and I ignored them both times. If he's so in love with this girl (doubt he is) to marry her why is he making such an effort to contact me knowing I don't ever want to speak to him again??? All he needs is her...right? I need opinions as to what is possibly going on...give me a clue as to whether or not to answer his next call..
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 Insecure? Pathetic? Clingy? Not stable? I could name 100 different words to describe him.
Geishawhelk Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 I've been this guys friend for about 5 years and his girlfriend for 2 of those years. I bent over backwards for him to make sure he was happy and healthy. I took care of him when he almost died on me. I didn't leave his side until he was better. I did so much for him...even when I was just his friend..He had broke up with with his last girlfriend Nov. 12 of last year and got a brand new girlfriend Nov. 21. TEN DAYS LATER!! Here's the messed up part. He gets engaged to his girl around the 12th of DEC!!! He doesn't know this girl. Mind you he's already cheated on this girl at least 4 times. I feel used because of the relationship we've had for all of this time. I told him that I was never talking to him again...that I regret everything between him and wish it never happened if I knew it'd end like this and I told him goodbye. He has been texting my phone asking me what's up, sending me chain messages not appropriate for an engaged man. He sent me a message saying, "I know it's past due and you don't have to respond back. Just wishing you a Happy New Year." I ignore all of his text messages. I thought that would have been it..but he's called my friend asking about me, telling her to tell me "Hi." and strangely wanting to hang out with her...Okay not a big deal...he's hung around her with me before...but then he calls my friend who LIVES ALL THE WAY IN NEW YORK...he's only seen him once and has never ever called him...he only called him the last time we weren't talking...(He's probably used a few of his friends to contact me, too) He also popped up at my mom's job to say "Hi." (He told his mom that he wasn't gonna talk to my mom again.) When my mom asked him if he was happy she told me he didn't look too happy when he said yes. She knows his body language very well...Anyway he's called my phone twice already...and I ignored them both times. If he's so in love with this girl (doubt he is) to marry her why is he making such an effort to contact me knowing I don't ever want to speak to him again??? All he needs is her...right? I need opinions as to what is possibly going on...give me a clue as to whether or not to answer his next call.. What clue do you need, other than - DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS PLAYING LOSER - !!!!
Author Little Kitten Posted January 29, 2009 Author Posted January 29, 2009 Yeah, I know I shouldn't answer his call. This was my best friend and part of me just wants to be his friend again...but not at the expense of getting hurt. I'm trying to figure him out and why is he calling me...she's the only one he needs right? I've seen so much crap out of him...and he had the nerve to call me jealous when he got with her...not jealous...I'm just finding him stupid to do all of this stuff so quick. I believe he'll find out exactly how fake she is too...yeah I know this girl too...
Treasa Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Whatever you do, don't respond or reply or answer his calls for any reason. He's trying to have his cake and eat it too. He just wants to jerk your chain, and as soon as you reply, he'll start treating you like dirt again. He doesn't like the fact that you went on with your life, as you should have done.
Truly Lost Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Ahh, the guilt is setting in for him, ha, ha. He sounds like an emotionally weak guy. To get engaged to someone he hardly knows??? He doesn't sound like a good catch. He is one of those types that is completely confused and can't make a good decision if his life counted on it. Who needs that frustration. Wouldn't you rather have a man that has the drive to go after what he wants maturely and is willing to suffer for it? I know he hurt you and you probably would like nothing more than to have him back, but he sounds like a real headache. Your much better off finding someone who will take you seriously and care for you as much as you do for him.
Author Little Kitten Posted February 13, 2009 Author Posted February 13, 2009 True just a couple of days ago he just kept texting me over and over and over again asking me to tell him why I wasn't talking to him anymore....I'm sure he KNOWS since I haven't talked to him since he's gotten engaged. He says forgot but I doubt it....HIGHLY DOUBT IT....and the funny thing is the signature on his text messages went from "ENGAGED" to "SO SCARED".....why would he text me with a signature like that..I'm sure he wants me to ask but I'm not gonna give him that...I tried to be nice and just talk to him but then he just got very repetivite and kept asking me why....so I just quit...
redmelon Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 He should be SO SCARED, he is engaged to someone he hardly knows! Sounds like you will be so much better off to completely steer clear of this guy from now on. Yes, you were there for him, but you can walk away knowing what a good person YOU are, regardless of him and his behavior. It sounds like his life is going to be a royal mess, so why involve yourself in it? You are free and can make your life a stable and peaceful one by leaving him in the past. He is obsessively texting you because he is weak and wants to try and get back the control over you. I hope you won't let him!
Geishawhelk Posted February 14, 2009 Posted February 14, 2009 True just a couple of days ago he just kept texting me over and over and over again asking me to tell him why I wasn't talking to him anymore....I'm sure he KNOWS since I haven't talked to him since he's gotten engaged. He says forgot but I doubt it....HIGHLY DOUBT IT....and the funny thing is the signature on his text messages went from "ENGAGED" to "SO SCARED".....why would he text me with a signature like that..I'm sure he wants me to ask but I'm not gonna give him that...I tried to be nice and just talk to him but then he just got very repetivite and kept asking me why....so I just quit... Are you telling us you responded to him....? Come on, hun! Cut him off! delete his name and number, and replace the alert with "It's the jerk!" Don'tt read the texts and certainly, don't respond to them!!
Author Little Kitten Posted February 19, 2009 Author Posted February 19, 2009 Thanks for the advice everyone. I know I shouldn't have answered his text. I just thought I could be nice for 2 seconds just to see how his life is going. He text me yesterday (19th) just chain messages basically trying to get answers out of me. But I decided not to try and save him from himself anymore or from a fake girl. He deserves her. She knows nothing about anything and him the same. He's lazy. He hasn't graduated or gotten his GED, has no credit, and only works a days a week. When I was with him I tried to talk to him into doing something more. He was SUPPOSED to go to Harvard but I guess his plans changed. Now I think he's also on edge cause people from church are talking about me and the fact that I've moved on. He's somehow heard that I've gotten a tattoo, that I'm dating, that I'm out all of the time and having fun....I don't know how he's heard all of that....but I am kinda dating a guy right now...I've known him for a few years but I've always been shy around him. He's a pharmacist. He opens doors for me, when me go out on dates I don't have to reach into my own pocket, (When I was with my ex nI always took care of him payed for everything..stupid right??) he's very smart, kind hearted, sexy, and he's hard working. If he's not at work, he's at school, if he's not at school or work, he's with me or the family. I don't have to worry about where he is. He works 6 days out of the week and goes to school 6 days a week and somehow makes time for me.... My feelings are stuck with my ex and I don't like it cause I have a keeper...I just hope my feelings switch over...and quick..
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