TerryTeardrop Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 How do I break up with a man who is so nice and yet so wrong for me? He is wrong for me in so many ways but right for me in so many others! I do not want to marry him or have kids with him and we have been together for 3 years. I know I should end it and I have ended it so many times before but we always end up back together as I miss him when he is not around. I am scared of never meeting a nice guy again. He is unreliable and not together in his life, he lives from paycheck to paycheck and owes out most of his money by the time he gets paid. He has to move out of his apartment and is going to move in with his single brother. I dont want him to move in with me but I am sick of him going out drinking with his brother and not calling me when he should. I have seen him twice in the last 2 weeks but we speak every day. He lives around the block from me. The thing is that I dont care that I dont see him, and that bothers me! I want him in my life as my friend but I know that is not possible. I dont even want to have sex with him anymore and he never tries it with me either. Please help me, I am scared of being alone and yet scared that I am willing to remain in the wrong relationship just through fear of being alone and fear of never talking to him.
Geishawhelk Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 I'm sorry. I am really so sorry. But I don't care. I have told you before and I'm telling you again. You're dependent, clingy, needy and in dire need of a kick up the pantz. You bang on and on about this relationship, and I just don't get how much lower your self-worth and self esteem have to get before you find yourself under your own boots. licking your own soles for comfort. THis is all entirely self-made. You really need to examine what the hell the benefits are for you, and if they pale into insignificance next to the negatives, you need to get your sorry @$$ out of there and find your dignity, because otherie you'll just lather, rinse and repeat.
Author TerryTeardrop Posted January 28, 2009 Author Posted January 28, 2009 I do feel like I am unworthy of a nice decent man who makes me happy. I just do not know how that feels!
Geishawhelk Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 Well, then you need to address that problem through professional counselling and psychotherapy. But first you need to ditch Mr. Useless, or you'll never progress. But look - see what I mean? 25 hits on your thread, and I'm the only one who's answered so far. And I told you I don't care. The problem is you've come on here repeatedly whingeing about your situation - but you hgave never, ever made any obvious attempt to actually get yourself out of your own sh*thole. people get pished off after a while, taking time to reply, giving positive feedback, trying to help - and the person in question sucks it up and does nothing. You become labelled an Emotional Vampire. So quit sucking, and do something for yourself.
39388 Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 You can stay with him longer and be in the same position you are now. You can do it for 1 year, 2 years, 10 years. Is that want you want? In 10 years, you would be in the same position you are now. bleh The other option is get out now. In the short term, it could be hard but you should feel relief being out of a bad situation. You will have to do this anyway at some point. Why not now? You also have to drop the "I am unworthy of a nice decent man who makes me happy". If you can't drop this negative, untrue thinking you should talk to a counselor. Talk to him/her about anything and they will offer good professional advice. From over here the ideal things would seem to be. 1) Get out as soon as possible 2) Work on getting rid of the ridiculous negative thoughts 3) Then look for better, more reliable men. Most men are drawn to happier women. As a man, a woman who knows how to smile is such an attractive trait to me.
Author TerryTeardrop Posted January 31, 2009 Author Posted January 31, 2009 I know I need to end it and I am going to do it today and for good I have had enough of feeling awful about how he is and how he treats me
Geishawhelk Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I'll believe it when I see it. You know you can never, ever contact him again, don't you? NO CONTACT - for anything, ever. And you have to 100% block him off for good, in any and every which way possible. It cuts both ways. permanently. Period.
You'reasian Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I do not want to marry him or have kids with him and we have been together for 3 years. I know I should end it and I have ended it so many times before but we always end up back together as I miss him when he is not around. I am scared of never meeting a nice guy again. . Go no contact. He is unreliable and not together in his life, he lives from paycheck to paycheck and owes out most of his money by the time he gets paid.. That's too bad. Right now is the best time to invest - even $1,000 but like you said, this guy lives from pay check to pay check and probably couldn't afford that... He has to move out of his apartment and is going to move in with his single brother. I dont want him to move in with me but I am sick of him going out drinking with his brother and not calling me when he should. I have seen him twice in the last 2 weeks but we speak every day. He lives around the block from me. The thing is that I dont care that I dont see him, and that bothers me! I want him in my life as my friend but I know that is not possible. I dont even want to have sex with him anymore and he never tries it with me either. Please help me, I am scared of being alone and yet scared that I am willing to remain in the wrong relationship just through fear of being alone and fear of never talking to him. What are you waiting for? Break up with him and move on. Go NC and do what you have to do to get your life in order. This guy you are referring to is obviously unreliable and lives pay check to pay check. Best of luck to you, Terry.
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