samsungxoxo Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 Ok I'm gonna imply cheating while being married. It has been stated in the dictionary that adultery is having intercourse (sex) outside your marriage. Well what if you don't have intercourse but either kissed or do the other acts with the other person, why shouldn't that also be considered adultery. In my view adultery should be when you seek any type of pleasure outside your marriage, don't ya think?? What are you thoughts on this issue people??
Geishawhelk Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 I agree.... Wasn't it Jimmy Carter who said he had "committed adultery in his heart, many times"....? Yes, I think it's as you say.....
Lizzie60 Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 Hahahaha... I have heard that many times.. some MMs think that a BJ is not cheating... they can do anything and everything as long as there is no penetration.. for them.. only penetration is cheating.. you'd be surprised how many men think that way.. still..
anijanoki Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 I agree adultery is when you seek somewhere else what you should be working on finding in your mariage
2sunny Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 the term adultery is specifically defined around the guise of sexual intercourse. much discussion here over the years has allowed me to understand that penetration is not necessary in order for many married folks to be classified as cheaters. the consensus seems to be that an emotional affair (attachment) is more detrimental to a marriage and harder to recover from than a physical affair. my best estimate is that if the relationship and all it entails is kept a secret from the other spouse - then it is a form of cheating. anything taken away from a marriage when it should be directed toward the marriage being healthy should be considered off limits. that should include emotions, time, energy, love, expressions of passion and enjoyment, silly gestures of kindness, shared secrets, new areas of interest, accomplishments and challenges... any personal information regarding the marriage should not be shared with the opposite sex unless it is with specific intent to solve a problem that both spouses have acknowledged. remember that this shared info is still not to be kept secret from the spouse. i hope i'm explaining it correctly.... for the way my mind processes what i have seen here as cheating and innocent friendships. healthy boundaries are always a saving grace.
doushenka Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 My definition of cheating is anything that breaks the established rules of a relationship or deliberately skirts the spirit of the rule but abides by the letter. Adultery, then, would mean a vow is in play, one before God(s) or community or Cthulhu, whichever. It was a vow, and it got broken. That's a big deal for me. I won't marry unless I know for certain that it is a vow I mean from deep inside. If I make a vow, I believe deeply that nothing but death or self-defense ought to break it. ...guess I won't be getting married anytime soon. :-)
jealousagain Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 My personal definition of adultery not only includes any nature of sexual activity--including kissing--outside of a relationship. Too, I think situations that could potentially warrant adultery should be considered, i.e., boyfriend goes to study at other girl's house until 2 a.m., etc. It's just... The wrong impression, you know? Then there's emotional cheating, where, although blurry in definition, people in a relationship have a strong, non-platonic emotional connection (say, for example, the pursuit of a friendship where there's lots of sexual tension even though the person in the relationship is aware of the level of attraction) with others outside of the relationship. And... Furthermore, if I were to inflict my moral compass onto others, then I would definitely say that all of this is wrong, wrong, wrong! I understand people in bad relationships that want out; instead of just breaking up/separating from/divorcing the other person, they kind of segue into a new relationship by starting the new one before the old one ended. Tradin' 'em in for a new model, so to speak... I mean, I UNDERSTAND it, though it doesn't make it RIGHT. I also think that for friends and family to "co-sign," or to vocally or by action condone such behavior (including just pretending it isn't happening) is wrong. Sorry about the lengthy post, and I don't intend it as an angry rant. It's just... I've had this discussion with someone recently, trying to set some boundaries, and it has proved to be an interesting philosophical topic.
Whillo Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 If you're doing, saying or typing it to the opposite sex and you can't do it in front of your spouse, it's cheating.
Tony T Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I agree.... Wasn't it Jimmy Carter who said he had "committed adultery in his heart, many times"....? Yes, I think it's as you say..... For the record, in an interview for Playboy Magazine, Jimmy Carter said he had "lusted in his heart many times." I think he mistook his heart for his dick but, in any case, the vast majority of married males have looked at other woman and undressed them in their minds to some degree and perhaps had sex with them in their heads. Men and women still have their sexual impulses when they're married...or President. Men's brains have longer dicks than their crotch usually. Me personally, I do admire married women physically from time to time but the knowledge that a woman is married tends to turn off any sexual feelings I may have had towards her no matter how alluring she may be. It's not even a moral thing for me...I'm simply totally turned off sexually by women I know are married...and I have to tell you that MANY married women have made attempts to seduce me...or persuade me to have a sexual relationship with them...over the years. I was actually mildly repulsed by most of those advances.
Taramere Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Ok I'm gonna imply cheating while being married. It has been stated in the dictionary that adultery is having intercourse (sex) outside your marriage. Well what if you don't have intercourse but either kissed or do the other acts with the other person, why shouldn't that also be considered adultery. In my view adultery should be when you seek any type of pleasure outside your marriage, don't ya think?? What are you thoughts on this issue people?? Why would you need kissing or other acts (besides penetration) to be included in the definition of adultery? If your spouse has developed a strong emotional bond with someone else, if this is causing problems in your marriage - but they won't give up the emotional bond, then you could get a divorce on usual basis that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. Proving adultery is just a way of demonstrating irretrievable breakdown. Or do you live in a jurisdiction where there would be financial benefits to you in proving adultery?
Moonclair Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 If you're doing, saying or typing it to the opposite sex and you can't do it in front of your spouse, it's cheating. Yep, this one's a winner in my book.
clv0116 Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 If you're doing, saying or typing it to the opposite sex and you can't do it in front of your spouse, it's cheating. Dead on, and of course the contrary is true, if you are doing with knowledge of your spouse it's not cheating. But that's not so with the OP question, which is very specific. If you're looking for a hard definition on that one you're gonna have to supply context. Adultery defined in what context?Legal context? Biblical context? What? Technically to adulterate something is to introduce a foreign substance.
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