Zammo25 Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 Day 23 NC. Will this hell ever end ?. Evryday is a long 24 hours of thinking about the ex. I would rather have 2 broken legs and 2 broken arms than this pain. At least the Doctor would say your bones will be mended in 6 months and you will back to normal. When does the pain end ?.
Author Zammo25 Posted January 28, 2009 Author Posted January 28, 2009 Day 23 NC. Will this hell ever end ?. Evryday is a long 24 hours of thinking about the ex. I would rather have 2 broken legs and 2 broken arms than this pain. At least the Doctor would say your bones will be mended in 6 months and you will back to normal. When does the pain end ?. I don't think I am going to get through this.
techfan Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 Im there with ya! I feel like the 'hope' is where the pain comes from and each day that passes the hope dies a little bit more each time.... its almost like having someone you loved die.... except maybe even harder because if they died you could accept the fact that its impossible for them to come back..... but in your situation you know they are still living life and you just can't talk to them. it is hell. But you have to be strong and determined! Do it for yourself. Everything changes, you have to make peace with that idea and do your best to move forward. Accepting that it is painful is a good step IMO. At least youre not trying to numb it. You're a fighter. You will win in time.
Author Zammo25 Posted January 28, 2009 Author Posted January 28, 2009 Im there with ya! I feel like the 'hope' is where the pain comes from and each day that passes the hope dies a little bit more each time.... its almost like having someone you loved die.... except maybe even harder because if they died you could accept the fact that its impossible for them to come back..... but in your situation you know they are still living life and you just can't talk to them. it is hell. But you have to be strong and determined! Do it for yourself. Everything changes, you have to make peace with that idea and do your best to move forward. Accepting that it is painful is a good step IMO. At least youre not trying to numb it. You're a fighter. You will win in time. The pain is unbearable. I must be a bad person for this to be going on. I always treated her well and with respect and she threw me out with the garbage. I could be dead or lying in a gutter for all she cares.
techfan Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 I know the pain is tough, you have to not worry thou about how she feels.... its not about that anymore. Its about YOU YOU YOU now. What she is doing or how she feels, sadly, isn't your business anymore. And if you know in your heart you treated her well and were a good boyfriend and whatnot, then take comfort that she isn't someone you deserve. You might WANT her but you DESERVE better. Take deep breaths. Go buy this book im reading called "The Road Less Traveled." It's amazing and will help you deal. It has so many amazing things in it i can't even begin to explain but maybe i'll start a thread about it. You have the power to do this. You have to be strong. I am right there with you buddy. I have had some hellish days lately and I feel like my ex hates me now. I don't know your whole story but in the end, you have to realize that your heartache will change when you want it to. Take those steps. You're already a good way into NC. Not sure where you are right now but go outside and feel the sunshine on your face.... (if its sunny out) and realize you're alive. There are many worse places we could all be in right now. Try and take a step back and get some perspective. Don't give up. Breaking NC will only make it 10x worse.
Author Zammo25 Posted January 28, 2009 Author Posted January 28, 2009 I know the pain is tough, you have to not worry thou about how she feels.... its not about that anymore. Its about YOU YOU YOU now. What she is doing or how she feels, sadly, isn't your business anymore. And if you know in your heart you treated her well and were a good boyfriend and whatnot, then take comfort that she isn't someone you deserve. You might WANT her but you DESERVE better. Take deep breaths. Go buy this book im reading called "The Road Less Traveled." It's amazing and will help you deal. It has so many amazing things in it i can't even begin to explain but maybe i'll start a thread about it. You have the power to do this. You have to be strong. I am right there with you buddy. I have had some hellish days lately and I feel like my ex hates me now. I don't know your whole story but in the end, you have to realize that your heartache will change when you want it to. Take those steps. You're already a good way into NC. Not sure where you are right now but go outside and feel the sunshine on your face.... (if its sunny out) and realize you're alive. There are many worse places we could all be in right now. Try and take a step back and get some perspective. Don't give up. Breaking NC will only make it 10x worse. Somehow I have the inner strength to implement NC for 23 days. I layed mmy card on the table on the 5th Janiary and made it clear I did not want us to end but to no avail and I have not heard from her since. She was an important part of my life for over 3 years , hell I know now how important but its too late. I have wanted to call her so much but have resisted. I cannot see a way forward or a future for me.
openbook08 Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 Day 23... thats 23 more days than you thought you could do you are strong enough to keep going the pain absolutely will fade.....but youve gotta stop letting your ex manipulate your every thought. which will continue to happen while you focus on her. its time to put number 1. first so take up a new hobby, pop in your earphones go for long walks, get some good books, go see a movie, visit friends, family, go to the club & dance, buy yourself nice things, get a cookbook & learn how to cook something amazing, start watching those tv shows you always wanted to but never really had the time cos you were too preoccupied with what she wanted. im not saying you wont still think of your ex most of the time but youre shifting the focus onto YOU and it may start with just a few seconds or minutes but when it hits you that you havent thought of her in the last 5mins.. WOW..that feeling is worth waiting & struggling for. gradually, youre gonna meet new people (i dont mean romantically) through your active lifestyle, youll make new friends,youll be wondering if youll go for a walk or a swim this evening & then your new bud will ring you see if you wanna go watch the match (or whatever u guys do!!!!) & then youll realise 'hey its been a few hours' and as your new busy life takes over a new stronger cooler and YES happier you will begin to emerge. the rose coloured glasses will come off & you ll start to see you can move on and you can live without this person. and youll be more than ok youll be great. the inner strength youll learn and acquire from this tough situation will change you forever. for the better...
PinkToes Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 You will get through this, I promise. There will be a day when it doesn't hurt anymore. All you really have to do right now is survive this day. Get through one day. When you go to bed, know that you have survived the pain once more. Tomorrow will take care of itself. All you need to do is keep breathing, keep putting one foot in front of the other. Treat yourself as you would treat a sick child. Do the most basic things you can do that bring you comfort. Think back to what made you feel better when you were a young boy, and do those things for yourself now. If you're finding it hard to give your mind a rest, try getting a book on tape or CD and go outside. Concentrate on the words as you walk. Really try to concentrate. Walking will help burn up some restless energy, listening to a book or interesting tape will help give your mind a rest. I feel for you, you are in the middle of the worst of it. Just know this pain WILL pass. You will get through this.
audrey_1 Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 I was on day 22 when I got a text from him to satisfy his ego. I'm not sure if I'm starting over at zero or just continuing on. Haven't decided. Honestly, I'm tired of counting, which is a good sign.
Geishawhelk Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 I don't think I am going to get through this. You thought that 23 days ago, and yet, here you are.....
a_f_w Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 Hey dude. It probably won't help but know that you're not alone right now and other people (me) are in the same situation, and also that millions of other people have had their hearts broken and lives destroyed, and they have survived.
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