mendsley Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 Quick recap on my background, real quick: Well I have been seperated from my wife for about 5 months from a 10 year marriage, she left me when I got a promotion and I had to move out of the state. She went to southern California and I went to Utah. I also found out that after we seperated that she was having an emotional affair online with some dude for about six months before we seperated, he lived on the east coast so I dont think they physically met. She has not asked for divorce and I am kinda thinking I might go that way but VERY unsure. We have one child between us and she has two child prior to us getting together from different fathers. She said the reason she wanted to seperate was because I treated the children bad, no communication, she loved me but not in love with me, she only saw me as a friend, and all the other reasons that go along with someone having an affair. Well I have struggled very hard thru the last five months, I really do love her and I am and was happy to be with her. I have brought up MC many times but instanly get turned down. Just yesterday something really serious came up (I will get to that) and I asked her "Have you thought about us and what you want between us?" and all she said was she thinks about it and I just don't know!" The problem: Yesterday I found out that a house, that is in my name, we lived in, is foreclosing and being auctioned off on Feb 20. Well when I bought the house I had to get a first and second. Well the house is predicted to sell about $200,000 less than I bought if for. I received a letter in the mail from a credit agency that the second mortgage is my personal liablilty and the foreclosure will not cover my liability. I contacted a bankruptcy lawyer and he said that as far as he knows, I am liable for the $80,000 and they will come after me. I have been racking my brain and have determined to file bankruptcy, this is not the only debt I have and with that I am about $135,000 total in debt. I talked to the bankruptcy laywer and he said the only option I have is to file Chapter 13 and Chapter 7 is not an option becuase I make way too much. So, I am in a corner with my life, wife, finances and I am now very unhappy with everything in my life. I am trying to think rational and figure out what is best for ME! Although this may sound rational but I am contiplating quiting my job, but before I do I will line up a job that will allow me to qulify for Chapter 7, I will move down where my son is, after I can file Chapter 7 and the dust settles I will than file for divorce, maybe. And after everything is dealt with start my life over with everything fresh. The reason for Chapter 7 and not just file for Chapter 13 is because the bankruptcy laywer said he does not suggest a Chapter 13 becuase I will not have NO extra money for five years and no matter what, I am liable to pay what ever they come up with and if I for some reason fail to make payments they will throw everything out and I will be worse off than I originaly was. I don't know if I can live like that! Like I said I will not quit my job until I have a job down there first and I do realise that is a problem I have created. So please do not say that this is a problem I created and I should have to deal with it. I know my mistakes but, I want to make the right decision here. This is the current situtation and I am trying to do what is the best thing I can possibly do for ME and my son! Southern Califonia is where I grew up, my friends and family are down there. I am really unhappy where I am at, although I make good money I am unhappy. I dont know if I am unhappy becuase I have lost my family but, I do feel unhappy. I am feeling like I might be happier and have a better support system for me down there but I will be going from a $5600 a month job to about $2000 a month. I have been having this feeling of something inside is about to snap, I don't know what that means but I am about to give up so any direction, feedback or good advice would greatly be appreciated. MIKE
steveraves Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 Hi Mike, Sorry for your situation. My recomendation is to post this scenario on a law forum. this is the one I've used in the past...http://forum.freeadvice.com/ .. It's free and their is a bankruptcy section. I don't know if quitting your job would be the right thing to do. If you post on that forum I think you'll get better suggestions. I wish you well.
Nomad1 Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 Hello Mike. A tricky situation! I can understand you wanting to go and live near your son, friends etc, but you will be losing a huge amount of money! On the other hand, you will probably be paying a huge chunk of that towards your debts. You need to work out how much you would be left with if you went for Chapter 13 and compare that to the financial impact of chapter 7. There are clearly costs and benefits, it is a question of balancing both. I would go for less money and peace of mind. Either way, you are looking at 5 years of poverty. I am not sure how old you are and what interests you have career wise. In these grim economic times, the best option would be to invest in yourself! Why not become a full-time student and study someting that will take you five years, eg. a PhD. By the time you finish, the financial situation will be sorted! Good luck Nomad1
Author mendsley Posted January 28, 2009 Author Posted January 28, 2009 Thanks for the advice, I have posted on the law forums and Nomad I am leaning towards my happiness. When I first tell people my situation they instantly say DO NOT QUIT YOUR JOB. I thought that at first too, but after I have been thinking about it this is what I think will be the out comes; 1. I line up a job, which I do have a lead on a job that will pay about $2000 take home a month, and rough it for about 3 -4 months until I can qulify for Chapter 7 and then file. After the dust settles I can pursue a law enforcement career, I do have experience in law enforcement and I think I have a good chance on getting back in. I will be HAPPIER and I will next to my son, stepsons and wife. 2. I stay here work my current job, which is a good job. I am unhappy, away form friends and family and I will have to deal with not being able to get credit for a long time. They pursue legal action and they start garnishing my wages for who knows how long. In Utah they will garnish 25% before taxes for how ever long it takes. I was told by the bankruptcy lawyer that after the Chapter 7 clears than credit will come allot easier. I am looking at how much money I will have in my pocket each month with the decision I make. I honostly think that it will work out to be about the same. If I file CH13 than they will take all remaining money after bills until I either A, pay off debt or B, five years hit. The lawyer and I did some figuring and I would have to pay for the full five years. If I take this job than yeah I m making allot less, but I will be spending allot differently also.
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