californiadreaming Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 Yo! - It has been a minute. So much has happen within this month. I mean, I found that my ex is seeing another man because she is too weak to deal with the pain by her lonesome, we have had extremely heated conversations, I have confessed to cheating on her, I have changed my number, blocked emails, see'n her, had a promised coffee meeting but then was told that she can't show up because she needs to detach from me, and so much more! I cut the B**tch off! I hate to call her that but honestly. I will tell you guys from my experience. If she is not talking about making things better for YOU GUYS then she is only going to play games. Not saying that she doesn't want to be with you, or that she is not testing you, or even that she is over you. All I am saying is that if she/he is not mature enough to sit and speak with you about how you can better the relationship and yourselves personally, then they aren't level headed. See honestly for me, I explained to my ex that I did NOT want her to come back or be with me. I was simply trying to explain to her that all i wanted her to do was heal her self and in that process if she felt the growth between us at some point then we could try it out. I knew and know that I needed alot of change and I have done everything I can and still do everything I can to be the best me, and change. But her on the other hand, she jumped into another relation and didn't take time to heal, and honestly I don't want that in my life! I drove her to break up with me - But at the same time we had a very co dependent relationship and she had alot to work thru. But I am sure she will figure it out like I did. With that said. Dude read my story. Its been 2 months and I honestly am on my good foot, good job, school, and a new business venture. I got 1k worth of new clothes, new outlook on life, and WOMEN love me. the attention I get is as if I was 21 and single again, lol wait I am single.. but I'm 28 now. I will say watch "Swingers" - The night I watched it I decided to say "F**K her" and ssince then. Man, Life is good. It is hard I know, but I am living proof. I will say I do get sad still, and I still think of her. But I know for sure right now I don't won't to be with her. As sad as it sounds. I don't. I like the life I am living now, and I know for a fact that when I meet her, whoever she is.. She will have it made! Keep your heads up people. It will get better!
EmperorR Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 Congrats man, i remember you and your story all to well it's good your moving on feeling better. My ex also did the same as yours jumped into a new relationship like a week later no time to heal etc. just masking taping the situation but shrugs I don't even care anymore.
Author californiadreaming Posted January 28, 2009 Author Posted January 28, 2009 Congrats man, i remember you and your story all to well it's good your moving on feeling better. My ex also did the same as yours jumped into a new relationship like a week later no time to heal etc. just masking taping the situation but shrugs I don't even care anymore. Indeed it is. I know your story too. The funny thing is they will learn for themselves, just as we had too. The thing is we faced it head on, and used online support, along with friends and fam. They masked it up with another relationship. That equals tooooooooooo easy! I could have done that too, but I would never have done that, I liked dealing with it head on. It made me a good person. But as I stated they will see, because they didn't heal they will still have the same issues they had in the relationships with us, and before if that was your case. In my case it was. My ex dated me and 4 other guys before me in a matter of the 8 months that she had been single. She still never recovered from her ex b4 me.. lol, so she will find out, I just hope it is not too late by then. She claims to know all of this, but still she is seeing this dude who she has worked with for 3 years who is 181 degrees opposite of who I am. go figure! - Anyhoo, it's her lost. Like I told her I wish you the best.
Dmoney28 Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 hey what sup cali, glad to see things are finally looking up for you bro. I know it sucks...but you seem to have a handle on things. Glad to hear about your new job and school, etc. Your ex needs time to heal ..alone, and like you said, she will find out soon enough. Its funny, because me and my ex arnt speaking anymore. she wanted time to heal etc. So i gave her all the time she wanted. Have no idea if we'll speak again...but all i know is i'm going back to school in 2 weeks for re-training and i'm getting my life right. so once again bro, its was nice coresponding with you. We have so much in common with our situations. and i wish the best in life bro...
eDave Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 I like the life I am living now, This right here is the final destination when going through this. This really is the 'best revenge'. I hope to get there soon. Good for you.
Author californiadreaming Posted January 28, 2009 Author Posted January 28, 2009 hey what sup cali, glad to see things are finally looking up for you bro. I know it sucks...but you seem to have a handle on things. Glad to hear about your new job and school, etc. Your ex needs time to heal ..alone, and like you said, she will find out soon enough. Its funny, because me and my ex arnt speaking anymore. she wanted time to heal etc. So i gave her all the time she wanted. Have no idea if we'll speak again...but all i know is i'm going back to school in 2 weeks for re-training and i'm getting my life right. so once again bro, its was nice coresponding with you. We have so much in common with our situations. and i wish the best in life bro... Yea man, I had to cut her a** off she was playing to many games. I tried to send you PM's on here! I needed help. - Anyways, man I am always around, u holla if u need me.
Author californiadreaming Posted January 28, 2009 Author Posted January 28, 2009 This right here is the final destination when going through this. This really is the 'best revenge'. I hope to get there soon. Good for you. thats my advice. Stay strong. Out of all of the stuff I got here.. That and focus on myself was the best advice that I got. Oh, and watch swingers on youtube. All the other stuff didn't really help. The main thing is dude it will be okay! I was a total wreck at one point. And If you were to ask me on November 28th of 2008 that I would be where I am now I'd say no. S**T, if you were to ask me on November 14th if I knew me and my ex would split, I would have said no. lol - But that is the way it goes sometimes. Be strong g! you can do it. "F**k her!"
techfan Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 Great to see some positivity out there! You are proof that everyone can heal. When it comes to relationships it takes works from both sides. Feeling love might be easy but relationships take work. It's a team effort ALWAYS and if one team member bails on you then the team wasn't right. Congrats on the confidence, you give me hope.
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