fivefive Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 There's this girl nd she nd I were dating for about a week. Everything was great. She was fun, she was very beautiful, great personality. Then one day she calls me up to say whats up and so forth. But then the subject changes somehow to her having sooo much drama and emotional baggage. I didn't have ANY idea she had this stuff in her life. She says she suffers from depression sometimes and nd just deals with so much crap that she even feels like killing herself sometimes. I'm just sitting there thinking, "OMG what have i gotten myself into?" She really really likes me and it seems if I try to break up things with her that it'll make things worse for her. I like this girl but IDK if I'm willing to deal with the drama and emotional stuff. I want to just stop contact. But it seems like if i stop talking to her, I'm afraid she's gonna do something bad. So IDK what to do. PLEASE HELP ME!
LovieDove24 Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 Its been a week and you're suprised you didn't know this stuff about her? I'd be surprised if you even knew her last name by this point. Seriously, get a grip. Be glad she let you know this now as opposed to later. Quite honestly, we all get depressed sometimes. We all have emotional baggage. But the fact that she called you freaking out about it after only a week shows that she has no control over her feelings whatsoever. Thats a very bad sign, get out now. I hear potential suicide threats in your future if you dont.
Ronni_W Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 You have absolutely no power or control over what she may or may not do; may or may not feel. That is totally up to her. Do NOT make the mistake of thinking that you will be responsible for anything that she decides by herself. As to your role, just be honest with her. Tell her that you are not equipped to deal with other people's depression and emotional issues -- you don't have the professional training, nor the personal resources. Tell her that you want her to have the best possible help and support, and you just don't know if you can give her that. IF YOU WANT TO stay friends with her, ask her to please understand that she cannot count on you to be her only or even primary "go to" person to discuss her problems. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO stay friends with her, which is totally understandable, then tell her that you wish her the very best but you just don't feel comfortable or competent to help with other people's issues at this stage of your life...you would like to but you cannot, and therefore feel it best to end your contact with her. You have a right to NOT take on more than what you want. You have the self-obligation and self-responsibility to live within your own resources, including mental/emotional -- that is wise, not "selfish". It is the same as not going too deep into financial debt. Good luck.
D-Lish Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 That kind of drama is something you don't need in your life!! I can't believe she is spillling all this on you in the first week of dating- that's too much information. I think you should be thankful that she did reaveal this so early on- it is a red flag... and I would run away as fast as you can.
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