Green Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 I've been dating a girl a few months now and we're in love and I am enjoying it all but it feels like its moving to fast some times. She's been spending the night at my place every night for almost a month and she wants us to move in togather. Part of me feels this would be a good idea but part of me feels like this would be a bad idea. I really do kinda want to move in togather and I think I could make a better decision once the time gets closer to when our leases would be going up and the place we would pick. The problem is I'm also afraid to move in togather, I feel like if I said no at this point she would be very upset. I just don't know what to do
Isolde Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 I'm hardly one to give advice on this sort of thing, but I think a few months of dating is too soon to take this step. Mainly for the reason that moving in makes things serious, if you don't move in together things stay exciting and mysterious longer. I don't know, it's up to you but I don't really see any negatives of putting this off for a while.
Lauriebell82 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 I've been dating a girl a few months now and we're in love and I am enjoying it all but it feels like its moving to fast some times. She's been spending the night at my place every night for almost a month and she wants us to move in togather. Part of me feels this would be a good idea but part of me feels like this would be a bad idea. I really do kinda want to move in togather and I think I could make a better decision once the time gets closer to when our leases would be going up and the place we would pick. The problem is I'm also afraid to move in togather, I feel like if I said no at this point she would be very upset. I just don't know what to do If you have doubts don't do it. You have to be ready to take that step (both of you at the same time) or else living together will DEF. not work. A few months is too soon to move in together anyway IMO. You guys barely know each other, getting into a lease would be a bad idea.
movingonandon Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Moving in together sounds like a bad idea in general, and certainly seems a little too hasty after only several months together. I think you're being had . Next thing you know she'll be voicing opinions of how you should manage your life's details. Whatever you decide, do what YOU want to do. don't let her quilt you into doing anything.
Author Green Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 I'm hardly one to give advice on this sort of thing, but I think a few months of dating is too soon to take this step. Mainly for the reason that moving in makes things serious, if you don't move in together things stay exciting and mysterious longer. I don't know, it's up to you but I don't really see any negatives of putting this off for a while. Yes I've only been with the girl for a little over 2 months so its definetly soon to be having the move in talk If you have doubts don't do it. You have to be ready to take that step (both of you at the same time) or else living together will DEF. not work. A few months is too soon to move in together anyway IMO. You guys barely know each other, getting into a lease would be a bad idea. I have doubts about everything lol. My lease doesn't end untill May so we would have been dating 6 months by then if that makes any difference... but at this point I havn't really voiced just how unsure I am about the move in togather thing she starts to sound so sad when I start to say anything that sounds like doubt Moving in together sounds like a bad idea in general, and certainly seems a little too hasty after only several months together. I think you're being had . Next thing you know she'll be voicing opinions of how you should manage your life's details. Whatever you decide, do what YOU want to do. don't let her quilt you into doing anything. seriously her guilt doesn't effect me to much but I'm not imune this girl is my kryptonite
Citizen Erased Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Don't do it, not after a few months. It is ridiculous for her to expect you to go along with it after so short a time together.
socialight Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 absolutely 100% a big m-fing mistake to move in now. No way.
PrincessPeach Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 How long does everyone here think one should take before moving in together wouldn't be considered too soon (obviously this would be different for everyone, but most would agree that two months is way too soon) Tell her that you don't think it would work out well if you moved in together so quickly, but you'll need to make a positive gesture about it too. Your lease ends in May, which puts the relationship at about 5 months when you both need to look for a place. You won't know when you will potentially be ready to move in, but if you two remain together I'm sure you'd like to move in together at some point. When you renew your lease instead of taking out a year-long lease maybe take out a six-month lease instead. It might cost a few extra bucks each month, but it shows faith that you do want to consider living together and will hopefully help her understand that you take her and the relationship seriously. Say that at the end of those six months you can look at it again, but make sure she understands that it is not the same as "six months later we will move in together" because she probably will assume this and would try to claim that at the end of six months if you still aren't ready.
Author Green Posted January 28, 2009 Author Posted January 28, 2009 Don't do it, not after a few months. It is ridiculous for her to expect you to go along with it after so short a time together. well I told her I'm not sure its a good idea and I don't want her to be shocked if I say no to moving in togather and she was upset but got over it pretty quick absolutely 100% a big m-fing mistake to move in now. No way. Thats what I'm afraid of making, we might travel to Europe togather this summer she would pay her own way does that also sound like a 100% big m-fing mistake? How long does everyone here think one should take before moving in together wouldn't be considered too soon (obviously this would be different for everyone, but most would agree that two months is way too soon) Tell her that you don't think it would work out well if you moved in together so quickly, but you'll need to make a positive gesture about it too. Your lease ends in May, which puts the relationship at about 5 months when you both need to look for a place. You won't know when you will potentially be ready to move in, but if you two remain together I'm sure you'd like to move in together at some point. When you renew your lease instead of taking out a year-long lease maybe take out a six-month lease instead. It might cost a few extra bucks each month, but it shows faith that you do want to consider living together and will hopefully help her understand that you take her and the relationship seriously. Say that at the end of those six months you can look at it again, but make sure she understands that it is not the same as "six months later we will move in together" because she probably will assume this and would try to claim that at the end of six months if you still aren't ready. If I remove myself from my own situation and tried to give some arbitrary advice on how long two people should date before moving in togather I would suggest atleast a year. The 6 month thing is an idea, truth is part of me does want to move in with her its just that I've told her I'd be worried we'd have a fight and I'd be in some messed up situation.
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