JooLee Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 i've realised something. im doing this to myself and i dont even know why and how to overcome it. this is the 3rd time. this is the 3rd guy that i am interested in getting to know after the break up. and again the same thing is happening. it starts out nicely, i feel nice and have a good feeling about him. then after the 2nd and 3rd date, i start having thoughts about the ex. i would have this nostalgic feeling and start missing him and think to myself, i still love him. its ridiculous because these feelings only comes when i start liking someone! like today, as i was going to meet my date, i started thinking and fantasizing about my ex and the things we used to do. and it has been 7 months since the break up!!! if i dont have anyone in my mind, i would not even think of the ex and when i do it would be disgust. and suddenly now that i find myself interested in this new guy, i lead myself to believe im still in love with the ex.. to the extend that i feel i should just be alone for the rest of my live succumbing to the fact that i will forever only love the ex. one more thing i do is when i get the giddy feeling from liking someone, i automatically think to myself " oh this must how he felt towards the new girl" and i'd feel hurt like it just happened yesterday. this is nonsense! pls tell me how do i overcome this! because i do want to learn to let myself feel for someone else.
RRyan65 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 You're not weird, first off. Yeah 7 months is a long time to be fantasizing over the ex, especially since you're meeting new people, but the feelings are natural. Don't get me wrong, these are habits that you should kick to the curb. What I perceive is that, MAYBE you need more time for yourself. More time to get over the ex. At least you don't need to worry about "Is anyone ever going to like me?" because you know that you can find nice ppl to date. I think the reason you go back to the ex, is because after the 2nd or 3rd date, you start analyzing the potential of this new person, and so far, they don't stack up against your ex (because you two have so much history). Its taking you a long time to get over the ex (Im willing to bet he dumped you) and you need to do that FIRST before you can truly move on to someone else. "one more thing i do is when i get the giddy feeling from liking someone, i automatically think to myself " oh this must how he felt towards the new girl" and i'd feel hurt like it just happened yesterday." Yeah, you're not over him at all.
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