SadGirl_xoxo Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 *sigh* I don't even know where to begin.. I have this problem.. I seem to get in to relationships with a wonderful man, the relationship starts off wonderfully (as they all do I'm sure), but before too long, I'm thinking "Oh no! Where is the exit door if I need to run!" I'm the kind of girl (if there is such a "type") who really is looking for more than just dates and the 6 month lasting relationship, but no matter how nice my boyfriend is, I find myself feeling as though all my options are gone, and I start to feel stuck. The weird thing is, I know that I really do care about the person I am with, but with these thoughts in my mind, I end up feeling extremely guilty, and then I break up with them because I can't handle all the confusion and the secrets I keep. What my question is, is, do I have a commitment phobia? And if you think "oh my gosh yes!" do you know how I can fix this? I'm working my way deeper and deeper into a hole, I seem to be hurting people..I just hate this about me and I don't know what to do:(
amaysngrace Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Yes it sounds like commitment phobia. You can work through it though. You just have to be willing to believe you are worth getting close to. You have to understand that being in a relationship poses the risk of getting hurt. You have to know that the person you are with is worth taking that risk in hopes of having a good relationship finally. But mostly it has to do with you and what you feel about yourself. Why don't you think you are worth getting close to? What are you afraid of? When did you first start thinking this way about yourself? Who or what made you feel this way?
baker23 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Hi, If the relationships are wonderful like you say, and you have always the same pattern of being trapped, then I would recomend therapy. While in therapy, you might discover what prevents you from being happy in a long term relayoonship. It might be something on your subconcious, something you deep down that you might only be able to discover through therapy.
Author SadGirl_xoxo Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 I will definitely get some help for this. I just wasn't entirely sure what this problem was, or to be more accurate, I guess I hoped it wouldn't be this. But a thousand thank you's for your advice!
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