i'm trying to move on but now i feel like he's taunting me! what does this all mean?

[lynne1973]

I am still trying to avoid his calls texts go completely NC even though its so hard. its been 8 days since the break up. he's tried calling and testing at least 5 times since. yeah he snuck a call in on my desk phone yesterday at work cuz he number did not come up on caller id so i thought it was a customer.

 

but now, i get another call and text from him last night, it read:

 

"why r u sending messages to my friends, why don't you just leave me alone. if this is how you wanna play then just let me know."

 

wtf? sending mssgs? leave him alone? I haven't the foggiest idea of any mssgs he's talking bout, and as far as leaving him alone, i've gone completely cold turkey and have been doing just that, and now this?

 

I don't know what to make of it. yes I took back the laptop before leaving because he never paid me for half the cost like he promised and was using it to chat with/hook up with other women, among so many other things he was doing. so i said enough is enough and left and haven't contacted him since.

 

i don't know, but this is not the response i was hoping to elicit from him when i left. a part of me was hoping instead, he'd come to his senses and realize he'll be missing out on a good woman, as I was there for him and his boys, helped them out tremendously whenever they needed anything. but not this. maybe he is still bitter bout the laptop, but this is definitely not the reaction I was looking to get from him.

 

I do love him, but I know he is not good for me so i'm trying to move on but these setback are making it that much more harder

[SadGirl_xoxo]

Hi, that does sound really hard, and I'm sorry that you have to deal with something like that. My guess is that he still very much is in love with you. The messaging his friends thing is the perfect line ever for him- as you're "guaranteed" to reply and it doesn't make him sound like he's interested in you, which is what I think is the "look" he's going for. I think he's just a boy in pain to be honest and he probably misses you, but my advice is that if you really don't feel he is the right one for you, don't reply to his sms's. In my opinion he really is just playing mind games.

[SierraRose]

He's looking for a response from you. Don't...save yourself the drama and heartache...

[lynne1973]

thx for the responses. since I posted this this morning, he has been blowing up my cell and work ph over 5 x's again. of course i didn't take the calls, but he finally left a voice mssg, not really saying anything but just some banging and racking noise sound then hung up.

 

geez if he misses me and wants to do the right thing, then why go bout it this way

[nature]

Bad little boy...if he can't get good attention, then he'll get bad attention.

 

IGNORE HIM

[amaysngrace]

What do you want? Do you want to be with him anymore or no?

[lynne1973]

amaysngrace, i would love to be w/him as I am in love with him, but I cannot be with him due to his cheating and dishonest ways. if he could change and was really serious bout commitment and doing the right thing, then thats the only way.

[amaysngrace]

Ooh...cheating and lying?? Yes you are a better person than me. I would have a very hard time loving someone like that.

 

He should be being a superhero now. Not making annoying phone calls. You are worth so much more than what this guy has to offer to you. You know that right?

[lynne1973]

he just called again for the 8th time today, left a vm mssg. says he wants me to call him to ask me a few questions...

 

now mind you, this man has never told me he loved me the whole 1 yr 1/2 we were together, just always told me he cares bout me a whole lot...so naturally i figured breaking things off wouldn't be much of a loss to him. i am totally thrown bout his reactions.

[amaysngrace]

Of course he didn't say he loved you because what would that mean? How did he treat you? Did he treat you like he loved you because it doesn't really sound like it. I'm sorry to say.

 

Girl he treats you like crap. Phone calls now trying to cling onto something that never meant much to him to begin with. If your relationship meant so much to him he never would have jeopardized it by cheating, you know?

 

I would text him and tell him to leave you alone. Tell him if he contacts you again you will be forced to get a restraining order on him. That ought to fix him.

 

I know you love him but really what is there to love about him? Please tell me because from what you say he sounds like a loser.

[lynne1973]

amaysngrace you are right he is a loser. and i think from the his past history i've gathered from all his womanizing so far, he probably just thrives on the attention thats what he has that lifestyle. of course i didn't know it coming into the relationship but after all the red flags and his being noncommittal, i finally had to say enough is enough and got out. i have to confess though the reason why i hung on so long despite his ways waz cuz i honestly believed i could be the 1 woman that could make a difference in his world and that he'd realize I'm a good woman, he doesn't have to live that can of life style anymore.

 

and thne I hoped that now he is missiong what he doesn't have....

[HEARTBROKENHURT]

He's wanting u back badly that's y he's doin what he's doin. If u love him and wanna be with him then tell him that he needs to stop the kiddie games and u 2 sit down and talk about what needs to be done and how things need to go. Love is love and heartbreak is heartbreak u have have both at the same time but it hurts like hell. Just sit back and think if u wanna be with him or not babe. Tell him u don't have time for games and that u wanna see how things go.

[lynne1973]

HEARTBROKENHURT yes you're right. but I am just not going to make that move right now. its been a long tough road for me and an emotional relationship with him thus far, because of all I've had to put up with. so now I am feeling like giving him a taste of some real "tough love" and left him squirm a bit....maybe it will make him think twice bout what he did, maybe not

 

at least in the end, I'll be my own hero w/my own strength knowing that I can and will pull this. thx for listening

[Geishawhelk]

Lynne, your very best bet right now - tempting though it may be - is to really set your teeth, muster up all the resolve you can, and use all your will-power to not respond to him at all.....

I know amaysn said that perhaps you should tell him to get off your back or you'll get a restraining order against him - but I would record all his messages and keep them, either on your 'phone or your mobile, keep all e-mails, and in about 2 weeks, if he hasn't let up - then send him a letter via your lawyer to scare the bejeeezus out of him.

Really, I would.

The reason is, in order to get a restraining order against him, you'd probably need to provide evidence.

But once done, and once proven, a warning shot across his bows might just get him off your back.....

 

Sorry amaysn, don't mean to contradict you or negate what you're saying - you know I loves ya......

 

But really, you have to get a firm grip on yourself and not respond at all.

And if he calls you at work again, just hang up.

Immediately.

Even before he finished saying "Hi, it's m....."

 

HEARTBROKENHURT, please don't use text-speak. It's really irritating, and there's loads of room on the page. thanks!