Quviyn Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 hi y'all I'm a 20 year old gal who was in a relationship with a 21 year old guy for around 4.5 months. for the duration of that 'relationship' he never held my hand and never really made me feel special - i was his first girlfriend and maybe he didn't know how to approach a relationship in a conventional manner. anyway he broke up with me because he said he wants to be single and i was an experiment to see if he wanted a relationship. he also said we argue too much. i thought it was mainly because i was too fat (i had gained a lot during the relationship), but i didn't say i thought this. following this we were friends with benefits for around 6 weeks - it was my proposition and he acquiesed gladly. after this i broke down thanks to a little too much booze and said i couldn't do it anymore. he said that's fine, we should stop. so we did, even though i i blamed it on the alcohol and told him i wouldn't mind still doing sexual stuff. i haven't had a conversation with him in around 1.5 months now, and haven't seen him for about the same. we've had a few sms exchanges regarding me picking up some of my stuff from his place. now he thinks i'm stalking his friends on facebook - well I do message them, one in particular, but that's because I knew him before i knew my ex. but i do admit i have facebook'd some of his other friends because i don't want to lose touch with them. however i've now deleted all of his friends from my list (he himself doesn't have an account), and i've told him i've done so. he also wants me to stop emailing him. and i will do that too. the issue here is that since we broke up I've lost a lot of weight and i feel really secure in the way i look. my urge is too show him what i look like and incite some kind of flirtatious behaviour in him, even though i don't want to get back with him - in essence i want him to see me and think 'wow, she's hot'. i know he's not right for me but i just want to show my new self to him. Should i be worried that he thinks i'm cyberstalking his friends (that i have now removed from my list) and that he thinks i'm emailing him too much (around twice a week for the past 3 weeks, i know it's too much)? Is it ok for me to not see him for the next month or so and then ask if i can come over to get my stuff? Would it be normal post breakup behaviour to never see him again exclusively? ie alone and not at a party. Please give me your thoughts on the matter.
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