RM0123 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Ok.. So how do I force myself not to contact the new girl and tell her that he was with me when they were together? I know it is probably a bad idea but I keep getting the urge to try and ruin this and tell her what a scum bag he is.
IcemanJB Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Why? What's the point? Do you honestly think the new girl will believe a pissed off ex? And if she does, do you think she'll just up and leave him?
Author RM0123 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 Doesn't seem fair! I don't think she even knows about me.
IcemanJB Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 "Life isn't fair." I would strongly advise NOT causing drama by contacting her. The only time contacting her might be OK is if she's your best friend; in which case it would be weird for her to be dating your ex in the first place. So yeah, I wouldn't do it.
Author RM0123 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 This is what I need... People to give me reasons not to contact her...
IcemanJB Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Look at it this way. There isn't a good reason TO contact her. Therefore there are tons of reasons NOT to contact her. If you do contact her, either she or your ex will end up getting really pissed off at you. They'll realize you obviously aren't over the breakup, and lose respect for you, from your getting into their business. You don't want to be THAT ex gf, do you?
eDave Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Don't do it. Try your hardest to rise above it all. That will make you feel better. You have the means to exact some revenge yet chose not too. That will make you a better person. So will moving on with your life. Moving on will also help your esteem because you will have proven you are/did not let someone else have control over you. Right now he does. The proof is in the way you are thinking. Believe me, I have had some very strong vengeful feelings and I know a lot of ways to hurt her and mess up her life in the short term. A LOT. But in the end, I will just end up not only looking pathetic, I will regret it. You will too.
Goatsbreath Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Don't contact her because truthfully the person who hurt you and caused you this grief was the person that was fully aware of it. It wasn't this new girl. So what if she didn't know about you. This does not say anything about your situation and it changes nothing. It just confirms further that the guy you were with wronged you and has no qualms about lying to a new girl to satisfy his end means. Don't waste your time. Bottom Line: This is not a move that has any potential to be healing for you. If its not about healing you, its not smart.
cabarc1 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Please don't do it! I am actually in the position as you. I'm sure everyone that knows my ex, including his new girl, think he is this perfect little angel and it makes me so mad and tempts me to go tell her that he has cheated on her with me. He even got me an expensive xmas present she doesn't know about! Am i proud of it, NO, but i wanted him back and it was the only break up i've ever been through i just didn't know any better. He came on to me and i just went with it but i regret it now because i let myself get used and i disrespected this innocent girl. I would love nothing more than to tell her and ruin what they have but my friends even told me NOT TO because he and i would both look bad and she might not even leave him for it! Point is, you will just look like the crazy jealous ex. He will make it seem like you are lying or exaggerating and it will only blow up in your face. Be the bigger person and just let it go, it will somehow come back to bite him in the ass. The guilt will kill him, let him live with that.
Hersheys Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Leave them alone. Just consider them as two a***holes not worth your time and energy.
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