andrewrost3241981 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 I have never been on a date before, but there is a girl I am considering asking out. I know that I won't be saying this for a while, but when the time does come, and I feel that I do love a girl enough that I am ready to declare "I Love You" to her, when should I say it? How do I know that she is at the point in the relationship where she is ready for me to say it? I do not want to say it too early so as to scare her off, but I don't want to be too late in saying it and make her feel as though I am not interested in her.
Princess_in_love Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 you said you haven't been on a date before? you should probably wait until you've been dating one person exclusively for AT LEAST a few weeks to tell them you love them, just my opinion. if you say it too soon it may make it hard to think you are genuine, or that you actually know what you're feeling. i've always been advised by family to be careful with sweet talkers, people who give so much and say so much so soon. they can end up being players and/or heartbreakers. not a good plan. try and take it slow. tell her you really enjoy being around her and want to spend more time with her, after you've been on a date or two or three.
RRyan65 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 When do you say "I love you"? When she says it first. Period. It's not a game. A man who says "I love you" or asks the girl if she loves him, without really knowing how the woman feels, will almost always backfire. Trust me, actions speak louder than words, even "I love you"s. Treat her right and romance her a little. Thats all you need to do to let her know you're interested. You don't ever ever ever ever ever ever have to tell a woman "I love you" if she never tells you. THAT IS A CARDINAL DATING RULE. JOT IT DOWN! And do not forget it. Telling a chick "I love you" either scares her off, or gives her EVERY ounce of power. And chicks who THINK they like powerless men, are seriously mistaken. In closing, she says it first. Keep your damn nuts, pussy.
zenith Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 listen to RRYAN65... never NEVER never say I love you first...
BobSacamento Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 I would say around the end of the second date.
Tomcat33 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Whatever you do, DO NOT wait for her to tell you first and do not listen to the foolish advice Ryan dude up there (who is clearly clueless about women) is giving you. Here's why: We women are brought up, FOR THE MOST PART, to not say I love you first it's engrained in our heads from a very young age so you will see tumble weed first before you see a girl tell you that first. So if you wait for a typical girl to tell you first you will be waiting until eternity or she will dump you thinking you are just not interested. You say I love you when it feels right, when you've taken some considerable time to get to know her, when it feels like you can't wait to see the girl again every time you are away from her, when other girls don't matter as much, when you sense that she feels the same way, when every moment the two of you spend together feels right, when you look into her eyes and she tells you that she loves you with her eyes, when she shows you in her actions that she also loves you. You will know this feeling once it hits you, and you will have no doubt that the girl feels the same at the point you tell her. Love is a risk. The real way to love is to allow yourself to be vulnerable. You know something, this is going to sound SUPER cheesy but here goes nothing anyway, you want to learn how girls like to be treated? Rent a chick flick and watch how the main hunk in the movie acts, that's pretty much what a lot of girls want. Even in today's cheesy romance movies the man is always taking the lead and women LOVE that.
RRyan65 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Yeah, right. Listen to me or listen to old-fashioned LS cat-ladies. If you are part of MY generation, the rules have changed. Thats all. Let me add... If you're bagging a desperate fat chick, then you can say whatever you f-ing please. I never insinuated that you treat the girl like dirt, or you don't show affection. TOday's males have lost all power. WHY THE **** SHOULD WE SAY I LOVE YOU FIRST???? Its because we've lost all shred of self-respect and fallen victim to womens control.
Star Gazer Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Let me add... If you're bagging a desperate fat chick, then you can say whatever you f-ing please. I'm calling troll on this one.
Tomcat33 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 If you're bagging a desperate fat chick, then you can say whatever you f-ing please. Well that explains your repertoire.
Tomcat33 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 If you are part of MY generation, the rules have changed. Thats all. No they haven't actually only a weak chicken shet LOSER waits around for a woman to tell him she loves him. Sorry that's how women see it.
d0ll Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Theres no right or wrong time to say 'I love you' everyones relationship is different .. when you FEEL it & you feel she's ready to hear it then you can say it.
RRyan65 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 I'm beginning to realize that people here are just looking for the bare minimums in their relationships. They dont seem to care to lose their dignities or self-respect as long as they can get their foot through the door and into the next doomed relationship LISTEN WOMEN: Men and women are not equal. Sure, have your equal pay and human rights. You deserve it. But when it comes to relationships, you want ****ing men, not pansies. Women and men are not equal when it comes to this. A WOMAN DOES NOT WANT A SUBMISSIVE MAN, and if she WANTS one, she doesnt LOVE him. Do you people have just a slight clue as to what the hell makes people tick? You all admit it on a daily basis.
Star Gazer Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 I'm beginning to realize that people here are just looking for the bare minimums in their relationships. They dont seem to care to lose their dignities or self-respect as long as they can get their foot through the door and into the next doomed relationship LISTEN WOMEN: Men and women are not equal. Sure, have your equal pay and human rights. You deserve it. But when it comes to relationships, you want ****ing men, not pansies. Women and men are not equal when it comes to this. A WOMAN DOES NOT WANT A SUBMISSIVE MAN, and if she WANTS one, she doesnt LOVE him. Do you people have just a slight clue as to what the hell makes people tick? You all admit it on a daily basis. How does this respond to the subject of the thread? That said, if you want to know what women want, ask WOMEN, not men who can't even hold on to their GFs.
RRyan65 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 what you admit is that you want a MAN that makes you feel like a WOMAN. And a MAN who spills his heart and soul into a woman is a motherf'ing pushover. I'll reiterate, though: If you are a desperate woman or who doesn't have any sense of independence, you'll settle for anything. More power to you.
RRyan65 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 How does this respond to the subject of the thread? That said, if you want to know what women want, ask WOMEN, not men who can't even hold on to their GFs. Lol, touche. However, I've learned from that experience, and trust me, I've made all the wrong moves I preach against. IS THERE ANYONE HERE WHO DOESNT LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES???? Except for Star Gazer And BTW, the ex g/f up to this very day, wouldn't get off my ass about getting back together. Do you think I even thought about taking her back? Move on, baby.
RRyan65 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 I'm calling troll on this one. How does this respond to the subject of the thread?
d0ll Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Ryan I think you give really good advice, but there's nothing wrong with a guy telling his girl he's in love with her, I think for a guy to actually admit that makes him even more of a man.
RRyan65 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Ryan I think you give really good advice, but there's nothing wrong with a guy telling his girl he's in love with her, I think for a guy to actually admit that makes him even more of a man. Nothing wrong with saying I Love You to a woman. The thing is, I'm paying attention to OP's drive. He claims to have loved this woman almost before they started dating!!!! HE'S GOT A LOADED GUN AND MIGHT SHOOT HIMSELF IN THE HEART! OP in particular needs to be careful with the LOVE bombs.
d0ll Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Nothing wrong with saying I Love You to a woman. The thing is, I'm paying attention to OP's drive. He claims to have loved this woman almost before they started dating!!!! HE'S GOT A LOADED GUN AND MIGHT SHOOT HIMSELF IN THE HEART! OP in particular needs to be careful with the LOVE bombs. ohhh I gotcha, I agree then.
Tomcat33 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 And BTW, the ex g/f up to this very day, wouldn't get off my ass about getting back together. Do you think I even thought about taking her back? Move on, baby. Ahhh now I get it, you were burned by a girl and now ALL women have to pay. Listen, when you sincerely come to terms with your past you will be able to offer some note worthy advice, for the time being it seems you still have a lot of catching up to do and throwing hate against women is not going to get you anywhere good. If you have nothing of value to offer this guy other than insulting him and women in general, then I recommend you come back when you do. What you posted so far is silly. Telling a woman you love her when the time is right and the feeling is right is not depriving yourself of dignity it is not stripping yourself of selfworth. Posting silly nonsense like you just have that stems from your many unresolved issues with the ex that burned you, does.
Tomcat33 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Nothing wrong with saying I Love You to a woman. The thing is, I'm paying attention to OP's drive. He claims to have loved this woman almost before they started dating!!!! HE'S GOT A LOADED GUN AND MIGHT SHOOT HIMSELF IN THE HEART! OP in particular needs to be careful with the LOVE bombs. Well that's a different story, THAT actually makes sense. Conicidentally that is also very different than your inital post.
RRyan65 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Well that's a different story, THAT actually makes sense. Conicidentally that is also very different than your inital post. My initial post leaves rooms for the exceptions if you read it carefully. However, in my experience and seeing many many of my peers being steppped on by women by giving in too early, IN ADDITION to common male advice (male "self-help", which by the way is not chauvinistic), says that todays male has a tendency of giving his heart and soul too early. It's because they dont have anything else to give that women cant get for themselves. This is under same social class settings. If you really ponder it, it makes sense. OP falls straight into this category.
Author andrewrost3241981 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 Thanks for all of your replies. I do like this girl, but I obviously have the sense not to tell her on the first date that I love her or anything like that. Honestly, I don't know her well enough to say that I "Love" her. I think I may be in love with the idea of being in love with her, but I can't really say that I love her truthfully (at least not right now). Having never been on a date, I just wanted to see what others opinions/experiences were in this area. I agree with Ryan that I might be playing on the safe side by waiting for her to say it first, but I just don't want to wait too long and have her think that I am not interested.
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