chris250 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about which path I want my life to go until I turn 70 years old. Here's what I want to do about my dating life. From now until age 70 I will be going out on one date per woman that I come in contact with who is single and interested. I've got one date coming up this Friday. I made dinner reservations already at this italian restaraunt. I'm kind of excited. I have made many mistakes in my life but the one thing I can safely be proud of is the fact that I have never gotten a woman pregnant. I intend to keep it that way too. The only sure way I can keep it that way is to never have sexual contact of any kind ever again. In my last relationship I didn't have sexual intercourse but I did engage in mutual masturbation. I regret doing even that because mutual masturbation is playing with fire. Even humping with both of our clothes on was playing with fire. There was a slight possibility for my bodily fluids to seep through my clothes and travel through her clothes. So from here on out I'm cutting all of that out. No mutual masturbation, no humping, no nothing! I don't care if I have to conduct our dating life in public just to avoid the temptation to have sex. Abstinence is the best policy here. It's too bad that I have to give up sexual activities just to avoid getting a woman pregnant but I'll live. I'll get used to it. I'm not going to give any woman an open door to trap me into being a father. I'll continue to save money and invest in my IRA account. I hope to be married when I'm 70 years old. By then I'll be ready to give a woman complete control of my life. I think the woman should be the head of the household in the marriage. Unless some divine intervention takes place these are my plans. Even then I plan to put up a good fight against God if He tries to mess up my plans. I won't go down without a fight.
Author chris250 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 Basically my long range plan is to avoid as much suffering as possible in this life. I'm just doing what it takes to get by. Survival is my top priority. That means continuing to have plenty of food to eat. Right now that's not a problem. I have my physical needs met. Food, shelter, water, clothing,etc. I get my sexual needs met from masturbation.
Citizen Erased Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 You are one strange man but I wish you luck with your plan.
reservoirdog1 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 To each their own. But I think you're closing yourself off to a lot of great things in life. Like sex. Like the feeling of being in love. Like the joy of watching your child enter the world. Life finding somebody you have a lot in common with, a great physical and intellectual connection, and total attraction. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with your way, if that floats your boat. But keep your eyes and your mind open, and you might discover some possibilities you hadn't considered. Just my $0.02...
Author chris250 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 Actually there is a girl I've been talking to over the phone that I have a great intellectual and spiritual connection with. We have that foundational chemistry. Am I going to pursue a relationship with her? not really. Friendship? sure. But friendship is where I draw the line. I don't want any emotional ties to her.
JackJack Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 While this might sound like a good plan to you....you never know what the heart might find or even want one day. Most people do not want to get hurt, can't think of to many who do. However, when you think you are saving yourself from getting hurt by choosing not to connect with people emotionally you are also allowing yourself to possibly miss out on some things that might really be good as well. But, if you feel closing yourself off from others emotionally is the answer, then good luck to you.
Author chris250 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 Well most paths in life require that you take the bad with the good. So it does not matter whether I choose the path of avoiding intimacy or the path of enjoying intimacy I still have to take the bad with the good in either case. Now it's just a question of which path will be the lesser of 2 evils for me. Which path can I tolerate the bad that comes with the good? Can anybody really say for sure which path is better. I don't know. Others can say which path is better for them but that doesn't mean it's better for everybody. If I choose the path of being single then I'll never get hurt or rejected by any woman. I'll never get a woman pregnant because I won't be having sex. As long as I'm fatherless I'll still have the freedom to do what I want to do with my life. I'll have more free time on my hands. The above are the advantages of avoiding any intimate relationship with any woman. The disadvantages are loneliness especially around the holidays when it would be nice to cuddle in bed with a girl on christmas morning. However I've noticed that the only time I desire to be intimate with a woman is when I see a make out session in a movie or when I see couples holding hands. Once the scene is removed from my mind then my desire for intimacy goes away. So do the advantages of avoiding intimacy outweigh the disadvantages? For me they do so far. I have listed only one disadvantage and that is moments of loneliness but those come and go. It's not constant. So which is more important to me? making sure I never get a woman pregnant and pay the price by being single and consequently experiencing loneliness from time to time? I don't want anymore responsibility in my life than what is necessary. I pay a huge price for that by sacrificing what could have been enjoyable intimate relationships. Is it worth it? yes it is. At least for the sake of not bringing unwanted children into the world. Children deserve parents who wanted them to exist. Unless I'm 100% sure I want children then I have no business getting my genitals anywhere near a woman.
knaveman Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 I get my sexual needs met from masturbation. Stop that, you'll go blind.
Author chris250 Posted January 28, 2009 Author Posted January 28, 2009 There's a good video by martin zender titled "how to be free from sin while smoking a cigarette." Google it in you tube. This can also apply to masturbation. I am free from sin even while I'm masturbating.
Geishawhelk Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 There is no sin in any form of sex, providing both are willing and happy partners, or providing one person is content and anxiety-free. Excess of anything, however, is unskilful and can lead to addictive behaviour, particularly if it is used as a substitute.
reservoirdog1 Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 Most people do not want to get hurt, can't think of to many who do. However, when you think you are saving yourself from getting hurt by choosing not to connect with people emotionally you are also allowing yourself to possibly miss out on some things that might really be good as well. Well said. Look at it this way: life is a universal, terminal illness which eventually claims 100% of its victims. That means that, sooner or later, you will lose everybody you love or care about: either they'll die first, or you will. But, that is simply a part of life. You could spend your life avoiding intimacy in the hopes that you won't get hurt. But you will probably reach the end of your life and realize that you've barely lived. I'm an atheist. I have two children. And I am aware that, sometime in the future, there will come a day after which I'll never see them again. Either they will die, or I will. The loss will be horrible and painful. But I wouldn't give up the time I have with them for anything. Get busy living, or get busy dying. "We are young, wandering the face of the earth Wondering what our dreams might be worth Learning that we're only immortal For a limited time." -- Rush
OneTwo Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 There is no sin in any form of sex, providing both are willing and happy partners, or providing one person is content and anxiety-free.... I disagree: when the sheep wink at me, I just say NAAAAAAA.
Author chris250 Posted January 31, 2009 Author Posted January 31, 2009 Why don't you just get a vasectomy? Why waste all my hard earned money on such an operation when abstinence is cheaper?
Geishawhelk Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Why don't you just get a vasectomy? The one piece of his anatomy showing any sign of intelligence, and you want to cut it?
Author chris250 Posted January 31, 2009 Author Posted January 31, 2009 95% of the advice here is not constructive. Name calling serves no productive purpose. Some of you have revealed your own motivation for giving advice. It's selfish motivation. You have to resort to calling me names just so you can feel superior to me. You are not better than me no matter how much you believe it.
Geishawhelk Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Stop posting senseless threads. then you won't get advice that is 95% unconstructive. We don't call you names to feel superior. We call you names because they fit.
Author chris250 Posted February 1, 2009 Author Posted February 1, 2009 Stop posting senseless threads. then you won't get advice that is 95% unconstructive. We don't call you names to feel superior. We call you names because they fit. It's only senseless if you think it is. I don't see it as senseless threads. Just because it's a ridiculous issue for you doesn't mean it's not for me.
Meaplus3 Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Basically my long range plan is to avoid as much suffering as possible in this life. So in other words your afraid of taking a risk? Your plan is to play it 100% safe. This sounds like a very lonely life. Why are you so afraid? Mea:)
Geishawhelk Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Basically my long range plan is to avoid as much suffering as possible in this life. I'm just doing what it takes to get by. Every moment of your existence is suffering. That's the Law. Man suffers, because he fails to be consistently content. When you are completely content, and free from concern, then suffering ceases. The moment we become concerned about anything, there is suffering. Survival is my top priority. That means continuing to have plenty of food to eat. Right now that's not a problem. I have my physical needs met. Food, shelter, water, clothing,etc. This is the primary objective of every living being, regardless of race, gender or species. So that's nothing unusual. I get my sexual needs met from masturbation. That's another thing you have in common with chimps and other primates. See? You're not alone.
Author chris250 Posted February 2, 2009 Author Posted February 2, 2009 Every moment of your existence is suffering. That's the Law. Man suffers, because he fails to be consistently content. When you are completely content, and free from concern, then suffering ceases. The moment we become concerned about anything, there is suffering. This is the primary objective of every living being, regardless of race, gender or species. So that's nothing unusual. That's another thing you have in common with chimps and other primates. See? You're not alone. I know that every human being suffers. I know that nobody is exempt from suffering but there are different degrees of suffering in the world. The goal is to avoid suffering as much as possible. Sure I will never be completely immune from it but the sufferings that are avoidable will be avoided. Just because I cannot be 100% exempt from something distasteful does not mean that I shouldn't try to stack the deck in my favor as much as possible. Since I don't have kids and I'm not married I suffer much less than those who have children. Why? because I have more freedom as a single man. I have more luxury to do what I want when I want. I have more luxury to engage in destructive behavior without destroying the lives of others. Married people do not have that option because they destroy their whole family in the process. I don't have to worry about bettering my college education since I don't have a family to support. You seem to forget that not all suffering is the same. Some tribulations are more tolerable than others. For example I would rather suffer a heart attack than suffer the inconvenience of having my car break down. I take better care of my car than my own body. Yes I can't go wrong with putting more value on how I treat my car than on how I treat my own body. I would rather suffer a gunshot wound to the foot than get a girl pregnant and pay child support for 20 years. If I could pick my poison then the above is what I would pick.
citizen67 Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Why waste all my hard earned money on such an operation when abstinence is cheaper? Pretty sure insurance would cover it
Author chris250 Posted February 3, 2009 Author Posted February 3, 2009 I don't have medical insurance.
Geishawhelk Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 Oooooh. Take care of this..... If you're thinking of engaging the services of a sadistic dominatrix, I think this is something you should definitely have. You never know what could go wrong. Or right. Depending on your perspective. Or ours.
citizen67 Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 I don't have medical insurance. for someone who puports to be so practical this is a bad plan = you are going to make it to 70 w/ no medical ins.?
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