Lucky555 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Should I date a guy that lives 3 states away? What would be his agenda to even start something with me? He is quite nice to me but I don't understand what his thinking is. So far its just talking online. There is no possible way will have a date anytime soon. I can't be committed to someone I don't know and don't spend time with. What do you all think?
JennaGennaro Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 I don't see any harm in communicating with him. If you had been together in the same state/city and then were three states away, I would probably tell you not to put much hope into it because absence really doesn't make the heart grow fonder, it just makes it forget.
Author Lucky555 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 i do agree about this, its nice to know he likes me but its weird that he would pursue something with me when we are sooo far apart!
mortensorchid Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 I have had experience with this, please let me explain what it is all about ... If you are not seeing each other at least once a month, you will tend to do a lot of fantasizing. And when you are together, you are in this tremendous rush to get as much fun time together as possible, which ends up feeding the fantasy more. Assuming you are going to see each other at least once a month, there must be equal time, as in he comes to see you just as often as you go to see them. Meet their friends and family, and do the same for them when they are in your town when you feel ready. If you are not being visited / called / communicated with as often as you are them, you will not be anytime soon. There might be reasons or excuses, but they will be just be excuses. Do not issue an ultimatum, because an ultimatum will not be met. And then you realize you don't want to be with a person who will disappoint you. Just some things to think about as you go forth into whatever you're going into.
Author Lucky555 Posted January 28, 2009 Author Posted January 28, 2009 i personally think he may be inexperienced or maybe saw an attractive girl and decided to get her story..which is mine. However, even after finding out about me and the fact I will not be anywhere near him in a few months...he still communicates. I don't think we will be able to see each other at all because of our lives and the distance. He still communicates. I don't understand at all. I don't know him well enough but as i see it he may be a bit immature for me even though we are the same age. Ill talk to him still because hes nice to talk to but im not feeling sparks because I am the type of person who has to let them develop. therefore not seeing him is not good for me and I know this. BUT i am willing to see what happens. ITs just really weird.
steveraves Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 While I believe emotions/feelings can be developed for a person you met online. It's very unlikely that it would go anywhere, and usually online friendships/relationships run their course and short lived. Talking to him is fine, but I wouldn't get emotionally invested.
Author Lucky555 Posted January 28, 2009 Author Posted January 28, 2009 While I believe emotions/feelings can be developed for a person you met online. It's very unlikely that it would go anywhere, and usually online friendships/relationships run their course and short lived. Talking to him is fine, but I wouldn't get emotionally invested. Ya, i agree with this...He has my number and texts me sometimes but this does seem to be one of those short lived things. Unless hes willing to put in effort. I have found guys usually are great in the beginning and excited ect. but For me I have to be in person like meeting up and such in order for this to go anywhere. Def. going to not get attached. Sucks that he messages me everyday..i enjoy talking but what does he expect?
Asami Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 LDRs are hell! Avoid like the plague! tell me about it..
Trialbyfire Posted January 28, 2009 Posted January 28, 2009 tell me about it.. I just read your LDR thread and I'm sorry it's gone this way. It looks like you've received some killer advice which is to stay strong and be prepared to move on. Lucky, you might want to read Asami's thread, to get a better idea of how things tend to go in LDRs. BOTH parties have to be totally committed, at all times, or it's not going to work well. Either that or have two self and externally acknowledged commitment phobes, not wanting a real relationship with each other....
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