incomplete25 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 what are the chances that a long term relationship can have its second chance, do dumper miss their dumpees too? pros and cons of finding someone else days after the official break up.... please put your insights here...thanks ^ ^
lonelygurl Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 The best thing you can do for yourself is cut him off go NC and treat this breakup as a death. The only way to heal is to do NC and move on and read about grieving the loss of a relationship which is the same stages as a death. one day he may come back but in my case in almost the exact same amount of time he pulled the same cruel stunt he did the first time, so overall he lied and couldn't be trusted just like he said he wouldn't do to me again. So now I firmly believe people DON'T change.
Author incomplete25 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 The best thing you can do for yourself is cut him off go NC and treat this breakup as a death. The only way to heal is to do NC and move on and read about grieving the loss of a relationship which is the same stages as a death. one day he may come back but in my case in almost the exact same amount of time he pulled the same cruel stunt he did the first time, so overall he lied and couldn't be trusted just like he said he wouldn't do to me again. So now I firmly believe people DON'T change. Yes Im doing NC now for about a month, i forgot to tell you, he moved to a new relationship before he i officially accept the break up.
lonelygurl Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 many of the dumpers do have someone lined up before they dump their current partners. Seems they don't have the balls to move on without having someone waiting in the wings. It is very sad and painful. There is nothing you can do other than take care of yourself. It is a horrible, painful, rollercoaster ride. I feel with you:)
lofi_tokyo Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 The same thing happened to me - my ex left me for another woman. Well! Its been 5 months, and though I have not had contact for a little over two months, I suspect my ex and his girlfriend are quite happy together. The problem I think with getting back together in this instance is two things: -First, the relationship your ex now has with someone else has to run its course. That could take anywhere from a few months, to a few years, you never know. In that time, I suspect you'll have begun to heal, and should he come back, you'll most likely be in a position where you feel hes just not worth your time. -Secondly, in many instances, even when couples DO get back together, that essential trust is broken, and seemingly irreparable. In these cases, second tries happen, but fail in the long term. So! I agree with lonelygurl in maintaining NC. Its about all you've got at this point. When someone leaves you for another person, its best to bow out gracefully and let their life run its course. There really is not much else you can do, sadly. At least you get to maintain your dignity in walking away calmly.
Author incomplete25 Posted January 29, 2009 Author Posted January 29, 2009 what are the percentage that a dumper gets back to its dumpee? just curious
justletgo07 Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 There aren't really any statistics. You'll hear all sorts of numbers on this and other forums, but in reality, there is no real way to put it to numbers, or to accurately predict whether or not you'll reconcile with your ex. There are just too many factors to account for. Feelings change all the time. Your feelings for your ex will change, in time, just as his did for you. No one can say whether his feelings will come back, or when yours will fade. If there is one seeming constant, it seems that if they are going to come back at all, they typically do once you have healed and moved on. Just tends to be how it works.
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