Hi Powered Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 A guy I dated once (only once - but have spoken to on and off after that for a year or so) wants to meet up now. He comes on too strong and makes me crinnnnnnnnnnge BIG BIG TIME. He wanted to pay ALL my bills and rent -and claimed this would be as a friend - and a good way to get back into my life. OK - I am jobless, very scared and have little money left ...BUT I do not want this. I think I would rather be homeless then have him pay my bills and then wait around for him to make a move i dont want. Sex - out of teh question. He actually makes me repulse - and thats after a phonecall. however i have answered his calls lately - (i didnt used to bother) and he has sensed that i am in trouble. Now I sort of agreed to meet on Thurs - BUT I HAVE TO GET OUT OF THIS.... I DONT LIKE HIM. He refers to himself as attractive but i beg to differ. Also he keeps using the biological clock is ticking argument. I dont want to offend him - as he hasnt been nasty. I just need to get out of meeting him A real muddle. Help - comments on this welcome - even a 1 line.
You'reasian Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Tell him you're not interested in a relationship. Simple. Straight forward and move on.
Geishawhelk Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Can you take a large, burly male friend with you and introduce him as your husband/fiance....? Either that, or change the locks, change your 'phone number and keep your head down.
Island Girl Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Tell him you can't meet up with him after all. Because a friend of yours needs assistance. And then tell him upon refection that there is really no reason to reschedule either. Wish him luck on his life, etc. and then change your phone number - and I really hope he doesn't know where you live. If he does show up on your doorstep, immediately call the police, don't even bother getting into a discussion with him and absolutely do not open the door.
Author Hi Powered Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 OK - he has texted yesterday and called today. I dont want to meet him but i cannot be horrible to him as he is not a nasty person and has been helpful and "there" when others havnt. I need a nice way of saying no. I need to get him out of my life coz he always offers me money/material things when i am down - i dont need or want him bailing me out in case I am too weak and give in - then I will get into a right mess. Also - i want to do this by text - not call.
Lauriebell82 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 OK - he has texted yesterday and called today. I dont want to meet him but i cannot be horrible to him as he is not a nasty person and has been helpful and "there" when others havnt. I need a nice way of saying no. I need to get him out of my life coz he always offers me money/material things when i am down - i dont need or want him bailing me out in case I am too weak and give in - then I will get into a right mess. Also - i want to do this by text - not call. I don't think there is a nice way of telling him no. You just gotta do it. I wouldn't do it in a text though, at LEAST call him and tell him. Maybe he'll get you to try to change your mind, but if you are really hell bent against taking this guy up on his offer you won't LET him change your mind. It sounds to me though that part of you wants to take this guy up on his offer. Like you want the money but you don't want to do what he wants you to do for it. You need to make a decision. Ditch this guy or not. And be straight forward. An example of what to say: "I appreciate you offering to help me out, but it's not neccessary. I have several job prospects right now (even if you don't) and will be back on my feet pretty soon. Please don't contact me again about this because I will not change my mind. Thanks for your concern though."
Recommended Posts