likestolaugh Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 So I've been seeing this girl for about a month now (the one I've mentioned in my previous 2 threads). We get along well I find... but I worry that I talk too much with her. Now you always hear that you should let the female talk much more than the guy. And I do let her talk whenever she wants to... but she just doesn't seem to be the really talkative type perhaps. I dunno. She knows I talk a lot, and has told me this and I've explained it to her, she says it's not a bad thing. I'm concerned that she's just being nice about it though. Are there women out there who don't mind if the man talks more than the female? Are there better ways to get her to talk a lot... or maybe this will just come with time. Who knows....
Geishawhelk Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Sod what she thinks. What do you think? Why do you think it necessary to keep filling the silences?
Author likestolaugh Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 Instead of "filling the silences", I more mean when we're having a conversation... I find I usually end up being the one who talks longer.
prettybaby Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 My ex is a heavy talker. I don't mind, it's nice not having to worry about conversation topics However, make sure you don't make her close up by talking way too much. My ex tends to do that sometimes, and although I don't really mind, I'll find myself wanting to say something in particular once in a while but can't because he talks too much and by the time he's done, my point doesn't fit into the convo anymore and I end up never even mentioning it. Are there any silences in your conversations? I find silences so useful sometimes. The man I'm dating now is about the same as me, and we have silences once in a while (not awkward ones), which are good, because that's when he'll suddenly bring up something interesting about himself and whatnot. Personal topics that we may not necessarily discuss if it's all constantly filled with small talk. Also make sure you ask her questions. Start with light topics and then slowly move to more personal stuff.
prettybaby Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 She knows I talk a lot, and has told me this and I've explained it to her, she says it's not a bad thing. I'm thinking she may be in the same position I'm in sometimes with my ex: she may sometimes wait for a little silence to jump in and add her point to the conversation, but can't. ... Or maybe not. Who knows? In any case, if she's mentioned the fact that you talk a lot, I think you're right to wonder about it now. If it didn't bother her one bit, it would probably not even cross her mind to tell you. Something to think about.
Author likestolaugh Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 well I do ask her things... but she just doesn't give long answers I guess. Sometimes she will... but not always. She really doesn't seem bothered by it... but it just goes against everything people have told me. Incidentally, her telling me I talk a lot wasn't out of the blue... it was kind of part of a larger conversation and it fit right it lol. So it wasn't the "You know, you talk a lot... [glare]" .I've told her I'm not usually quite so much of a talker... but that I am around her for some reason (this is the truth). I love silences... but I've often wondered how to make sure silence isn't awkward.... (?)
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