memphisguy1981 Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Hey everyone.I've found my way to these forums and some other outlets for relationship advice, both online and offline. Recently I've decided to address something I've been putting off for a long time.I'm currently 27 and don't have very much experience with women. I've been on dates before but have never had a girlfriend. This didn't bother me for a while, because I was mainly been concentrating on school and career, but recently it has been bothering me.I mainly stuck to my books through high school and college. Even though I was focused on my studies, I did go out to parties and other gatherings and was active in sports. I was part of a few clubs as well.Just like anyone else, I have my faults, plenty of them too. I can be somewhat of a loner at times. And even though I do often go out with friends and enjoy myself, I am usually the quiet one who doesn't always say alot. This has hindered me some on dates too as this is usually the first thing girls notice about me. Because of this, I usually have trouble meeting women and getting them interested. My job and my hobbies don't really put me in the position to meet a lot of women. I'm starting to wonder if anything will ever come.If anyone here can give me input, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks.
sultry33 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 hi, best thing to do if your not meeting anyone is do something different.. different places etc. Also try build your confidence up.. i know we are scary but alot of girls like shy guys.. myself included;) luckily im the bubbly type so starting conversations is pretty easy.. find a confident mate and see how they do it. x
djdiablo Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 There is a lot to say but I don't have all day So here are three things: 1) You seem to be good at a lot of stuff. Are you passionate about something. Then go out and do that something and find ladies that are also passionate about it. The fact that you like it so much will help remove some of the shyness. 2) Set a goal to talk to say 2 women a day this week. 3 next week. 4 the week after and so on. In time, it'll become much easier. 3) Prepare some topics to talk about and talk about them. When the query replies LISTEN and find new topics from her answer. So if you talk about sailing and she starts talking about travel YOU start talking about travel. And then if she mentions her family. YOU talk about her family. If the convo gets boring SWITCH TOPICS to one of your preset ones - that you can theoretically talk about forever.
crfsti Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 i'm pretty much in the same boat as the OP, gonna keep my eye on this thread!
andrewrost3241981 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Hi. I am also a 27 year old male, but unlike you I have never even been on a date. There is a girl I like that I want to ask out if I get the opportunity. I am also shy and quiet. I feel like we are in the same boat on this one. I have really been trying to turn my life around to make myself more appealing to this woman. I have been trying to get involved in activities that she is also involved in (namely our church choir). Since I have never even been on a date before, I really can't give you any advice from first hand experience, but I can REALLY relate to what you are going through. I think the biggest thing that we share is the need for confidence when talking to women and to not let our fears get in the way. I personally need to be able to keep my eye on the ball and think of things to say when I am talking to this girl. It is easy for me to get scared and for my mind to become blank and not know what to say. I think that if we do this we will be able to talk to women more easily and make it easier for women to get to know us and like us better. I too would like to hear any advice that anyone else may have on the subject.
Author memphisguy1981 Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 It is easy for me to get scared and for my mind to become blank and not know what to say. This has hurt me a lot when I go on dates, and girls often take my shyness as I'm not interested. Does anyone have any advice on how to let girls know that I am interested?
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