I Care About you Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Hello everyone. I just wanted to briefly ask a question here.. My gf and me dated nearly a year. She broke up with me in November saying she wanted to take a break... (this is confirmed to not be guy related. She didn't want a bf. She truly wanted to just be single). Well, she wanted to keep talking as friends despite not being in a relationship. I cut her off and have been ignoring her the past month+... and she txt me last night with a 4 page text talking about how she doesn't understand how I can cut her off and do this after all the time we spent together. She said "you'll probably say I did this too but I still just can't understand how you cut me out". I broke NC to tell her I love her and will always care about her and every day we don't talk is painful but she's the one who made the choice and this is how it has to be, because it hurts too much to talk as friends, and I'll never be her friend. I said "I didn't make you happy obviously anyways so why do you wanna keep talking". She replies: "Its not that you didnt make me happy. its that i felt i was missing out on something by being tied down" I said "Yeah, you always did care about what was best for YOU, and what YOU were missing, etc... you got selfish. thats how it looked anyways. well now you see what you ARE missing out on; my life". She then didnt txt me back. But this morning I wake up to a txt talking about how shes sick of me putting her down (i did NOT put her down 96% of the time during the relationship. I called her beautiful, drove great distances to her, bought her flowers before, surprised her with things, was always kind and loving, never blew her off for anyone or anything). she then says she doesnt want a bf but doesnt want to be without me in her life. i told her i dont wnat to be without her and i wouldve truly taken a BULLET for her and everything, but she left me with no choice and I have to cut her off, but I said I want her to know that everyday it kills me and i am not cutting her out to spite her or as revenge or anything... im just doing it to heal, because she hasnt given me any other choice. was this right? should i have done something else? i wouldve died for this girl
Geishawhelk Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Delete this last text. it's sour grapes. She wrote it after festering for a while. Delete all her texts. What you did - and said to her was 100% correct. You have nothing to reproach yourself about. Stay no contact. Best thing. I love the way they end it, then get indignant that you won't keep in touch.....! Sheeesh!!
Author I Care About you Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 Thank you very much geisha. I see you always give the best advice. I would've done anything to avoid this and make her happy you know? I am not weak, not desperate and not emo. I just loved her so deeply, and it sucks that it had to end this way. She finally txt me "Just don't forget me..." and I replied "I will til the day I die never forget you. You'll always have some part of my mind and heart, forever." then i said "don't forget me. and txt me when you want to see me and be with me again. no guy will ever be me" Yes, somewhat arrogant, but I believe it. I believe I loved her more than anyone else will, and no guy will have ALL the things I had. (Such as loving, caring, never lying, never blowing her off, driving great distances for her, etc). I hope sense comes to her soon. I do love her so so much, and I just want her to realize it too. But I won't wait around for her. Thanks again geisha and everyone who may and/or will reply.
nature Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 I think you are giving her way too much attention with your texts. She chose not to have you in her life because she felt she was missing out on something? How insulting. Tells you not to forget about her? Give me a break. She's playing little games with you to keep you waiting there for her. I know women. I am one. And this is just her way of keeping her ego strong while she's out there in the big wide world. So she doesn't have to feel what it's like without you in her life. Because now she knows you are sitting there dying over her. You say you hope this brings her back and that she comes to her senses soon? This is not what will bring her back. She doesn't have to come back. You are still there in her eyes. Now she can feel good knowing you are broken up over her, pining away over her, loving her from afar. That is what she wanted to hear. That's why her sucky little "dont' forget about me" text. How manipulative. She's on cloud 9 right now, knowing you are there loving her from afar, and if she ever wantd to come back, you'd be there with open arms. Therefore, she doesn't need to come back to have you loving her. She can do whatever she wants now, knowing you are on the other end of a text if she wants you. Just a little ego boost whenever she needs it.
BCCA Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 She didn't want a bf. She truly wanted to just be single Probably the most overused, and highest BS excuse there is. If she met someone the DAY AFTER dumping you, she would date him - straight up. I know friend, I know...I've had that same line used on me MANY times, and have 3-4 good friends that are females that wear that saying out. She didnt want YOU as her bf, thats all. She's sending you texts because she doesnt give a crap about you or what youre going through, all she cares about is an ego boost. Anyone decent would understand why you cut her off, and ask yourself this: what is this charade doing for you? Making you feel bad? Wasting your time? Rehashing painful memories? Geez, why arent you falling over yourself to keep in touch...such a mystery. Dude, the person you love no longer exists. Dont tell the person shes become that you love her anymore, you dont. You cant. Do not reply to any more of her texts, shes just kicking you while youre down to feel better. She doesnt want a friendship, she wants someone to use.
Geishawhelk Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Thank you very much geisha. I see you always give the best advice. I would've done anything to avoid this and make her happy you know? I am not weak, not desperate and not emo. I just loved her so deeply, and it sucks that it had to end this way. She finally txt me "Just don't forget me..." and I replied "I will til the day I die never forget you. You'll always have some part of my mind and heart, forever." then i said "don't forget me. and txt me when you want to see me and be with me again. no guy will ever be me" Yes, somewhat arrogant, but I believe it. I believe I loved her more than anyone else will, and no guy will have ALL the things I had. (Such as loving, caring, never lying, never blowing her off, driving great distances for her, etc). I hope sense comes to her soon. I do love her so so much, and I just want her to realize it too. But I won't wait around for her. Thanks again geisha and everyone who may and/or will reply. Nature has given you excellent feedback, as has BCCA. Frankly - excuse me saying - you were an idiot to follow up with all of the above. Know why? because it's Bull - Sheet. "Love you forever, you'll be in my heart for ever" - what a bunch of balloney. How disrespectful is that to any future ladies you fall in love with....? "I love you!" "Yes, I love you too, but part of my heart and mind belong to someone else, so you'll never have all of them...!" Of course, you'd never actually say this, it would be too cruel. You'll also never say it because it won't be true. She's currently got a piece of you, no doubt. Which is why you have to completely go the whole 9 yards and cut everything loose.... But forever? Don't you believe it. Oh, we've all said it. That's why I know it's a bunch of hooey. From this moment on, never talk to her again. Nope, I mean it. never talk to her again. Never again. never. Ever.
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