8 Years...

[No use for a name]

I just can’t shake this. I know there is no predetermined time for when someone gets over and ex but I’m trying so hard and it’s been so long. My ex and I dated for 8 years and we were to be married. Somewhere along the way it fell apart and we ended it mutually. It wasn’t even a bad break up, no anger or anything. We had broken up before and had gotten back together about 2 years before this too. I think we just met too young, we were 19 & 18. It’s been 2 years now and I just can’t forget about her. At first it wasn’t like this. I would say I was in the denial stage. I pretended it didn’t bother me and went on living my life. I’ve even dated other women but for some reason it never really worked out. It wasn’t until I broke up with the last one that I figured it out. I am still hopelessly in love my ex of 8 years. I compare everyone to her and I know that probably isn’t fair. There is no comparison. She and I never ceased all contact and would be friendly when we saw each other out and about. I foolishly confessed my feelings to her after about a year and a half after our breakup and she denied me. You see, it was too late by now. She had started dating a new guy and found a great new job. She was happy. As much as it kills not being her source of happiness, I’m still happy that she is in a good place. She and I would still chat on the net and I realized that 1, this was not fair to her new guy and 2, this was not going to help me heal. I politely explained to her that I could not keep in contact and she was very understanding. However if I see her in passing, which I do, I will always be friendly. When I lost her I lost the greatest love of my life and my best friend. I received a call from her mother recently asking if I would stop by and pick up some mail that had been delivered to them by mistake. She and I had an hour and a half conversation. First time we have really spoken since the breakup. I learned that her family wants me back and she hopes that what her daughter is going through is just a phase and that she will come to her senses. That was nice to hear but the whole world could want us to get back together and it would make one bit of difference. All that matters is what my ex wants. The last two years have been hell. Some days are better than others of course. I just needed to vent this to someone because I’ve felt like I am going to explode if I didn’t. One day at a time I guess right? Thanks for listening.

[alwayssme]

wow i really feel for you reading this post...you said it was a mutual break-up...why did u guys break up if i may ask? and it doesnt sound that mutual because obviously u still loved her...and there was no anger? ok im sure u must have felt some anger....i mean even if u didnt show it...me and my ex dated for 2 years and im still not over him...i kind of still love him but hate him too...weird...but can u explain ur story more in details? why did u two break up and etc?

[No use for a name]

Hey, sorry for the slow response. We broke up because at the time we felt like we had just grown apart. I feel, and always said, that we had just met each other too young. We didn't know what we wanted out of life yet, at least I didn't. There really wasn't any anger on my end and I'm pretty sure she wasn't angry either. Hurt, yes. Disappointed, yes. I've grown a lot in the last 2 years and have come to realize I had what I wanted all along and didn't know. Unfortunately, this knowledge comes too late. She will never come back and has fallen out of love. This is something I am going to have to live with at this point, I know that much. Some days the pain is horrible and others I can get by with only thinking about her briefly. I guess 1 of 2 things needs to happen. Either she needs to come back, highly unlikely, or I need to get over it. Most days I can put her out of my mind and be semi ok but at night I lose all control of that. I dream about so frequently now I'm not sure what to do about it. It's maddening. 8 years is a long time...