openbook08 Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 we were together 5years. i mean, im kinda laughing at it. i just heard today, it happened before christmas when they wouldve been together 3months. i know he wasnt with her while we were together..but got together id say within a week or 2 of the final split (remember he was still ringin/textin/flirting except i didnt know about her but i blocked/changed/deactivated ething when i did find out- learn from my mistakes go NC from the get go, dont settle for these half-boyfs or half-friends/rships youre worth so much more than that!) he used to be so close to his parents (an only child) now he hardly ever comes home & seems to have changed personality... its none of my business so im just venting i guess. and while im laughing & thinkin im so lucky it wasnt me (hes a horrible person who treated me like schit) i feel some sort of a "wobble" coming on... im doing really, really well, in fact my reaction to this is really showing me how far ive come so i guess im posting cos i dont wanna relapse over all this! im not wishing it was me, nor do i have any regrets that we didnt move in together full time (tho i practically lived in his home) its like the heartbroken miserable part of me is fighting to be released again. well, im trying to fight it right back!!!
Geishawhelk Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 How long did it take you to type that post? Five minutes? That's 300 seconds wasted. you could have been having a really good time. What a waste. Think of this: You will never get those minutes back. You are on the way, inexorably, towards the end of your life. How much of it are you going to throw away on a complete waste of space? Up to you.
JooLee Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 its like the heartbroken miserable part of me is fighting to be released again. well, im trying to fight it right back!!! i would give u a standing ovation if you were next to me. keep fighting, u will be better. at least u know he's not worth it and u deserve so much more. doesnt matter what they do and the decisions he makes. i admire yr strenght. keep it up
Author openbook08 Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 Geisha, thanks. that makes a lot of sense. im working on it! if this had been a few months ago....progress progress progress!! (btw, i was scouring internet fashion sites lookin for a cute dress as i typed so wasnt a complete waste of time!! hee hee) but thanks. you too joolee, thanks. everyday im fighting back. most days, now, theres no fight at all. so believe everyone who tells you, you will be ok, in fact youll be more than ok youll be great!!
JennaGennaro Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 You sound like a person with a very healthy and realistic attitude - I am so happy for you. I know when we invest so much of our lives in someone, hoping to take things to the next level (moving in/marriage/kids) and then that person takes up with some one else so quickly after us, it really hurts and makes us wonder what it was about us that was not worthy of that. I am just a firm believer in everything happens for a reason (I know not a lot are), but from my experience, IT does. I think the other person just thought the grass was greener and went for it. IT IS THEIR LOSS! It hurts, but I look at it as them doing us a favor in the long run.
Author openbook08 Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 hi jennagennaro(love the name) thanks for your response. im gettin it together..slowly but surely. it is without doubt his loss. no question there!! "I know when we invest so much of our lives in someone, hoping to take things to the next level (moving in/marriage/kids) and then that person takes up with some one else so quickly after us, it really hurts and makes us wonder what it was about us that was not worthy of that" i guess thats the way it is but im trying my best to just mind my own business & not feed into all that crap again, otherwise the last few months will have been in vain. "but I look at it as them doing us a favor in the long run" amen!! plus i read about your story on another post so i know you know what youre talkin about!! its great to see the nice girl come first!!
lonelygurl Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 openbook....good for you for being so strong! I hope I can get to that place someday!
Author openbook08 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 oh but you will darling time, time, time & the best advice i received was "put yourself first now" & i did!! once you start loving yourself again & feeling bright again the cloud will slowly begin to lift. i can honestly say i feel im happiest ive been in a long time & that included the latter of the 5years with "problem". i could kick myself for letting the happy,cool,strong girl turn into the miserable,sad,ugly,desperate girl i became with him. ive lost count of the amount of people whove said in recent times how great and fab im looking... i think i know what they mean. it wasnt that i was ugly before but i was so sad on the inside. its only since i decided not to let that sadness control me anymore and fight back (yes im still fighting&somedays are harder than others but he is not gonna have the better of me anymore)i can actually feel the positivity radiating from myself!! (MAC studio fix powder foundation & NARS the multiple stick in orgasm also help!! but sshhhh thats my secret!!)
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