ColorCube Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 eh, breaking up sucks. Yes it does Sid, Sorry for the left turn it all took. You sound like you do have your head pointed in the right direction for healing and there is another one right around the corner.
fishtaco Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Good job sid3. She may try to get you back. Stay strong. Break ups suck. I'm going through it myself. Short pain is better than long pain. I think you dodged a bullet.
Author sid3 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 well even though I ended things as politely and compassionately as I could, yep she calls me this morning. I deleted her numbers last night as I figure n/c is the best way to heal. Those are the the two letters I hate the most. Anyhow, she wanted to know how I was doing, like never even happend. If I had a quarter for every time she said god I wouldn't have to work this week. I may have a stalker on my hands now. Not too sure. I think I'm suppose to wait for the next three or six months or so for a sign from god that her way is the right way. She added that I should talk to god, I did, half way through the conversation I said JFC, you've got to be kidding me. hahaha......this woman is a complete nut case. Who knew? Ah my brother warned me. Dam he's gonna rub it in when I tell him he was right. I just want to move on, and eventually find a sane woman...should I tell her not to call me anymore. That feels so mean, but it might be the only way.....God help me:laugh:
LovieDove24 Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Haha, Fish Taco was right. She kway-zee . Anyone who uses God as a means of manipulation is condemnable in my book. And I'll take your word for it that you said that truly was the man reason she withheld from sex. See I'll admit I'm a little crazy too. I am an occasional flip flopper...but I don't lie about it and I certainly don't use God as my excuse. I think what sets me apart from the other crazies is that I'm self aware and am conciously trying to fix my shortcomings. Its like buying a used car: you don't care if theres a few bumps and dings so long as you know EXACTLY what you're getting before you buy
Geishawhelk Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 ....should I tell her not to call me anymore. That feels so mean, but it might be the only way.....God help me:laugh: Yes. Seriously. It's more for your good than hers, but with no rancour, malice, spite or sarcasm, just tell her : "Let me say this once, in the hope that you are as intelligent as I believe you are, so that you understand me: Do not contact me, ever again, in any way. I do not wish to hear from you, I wish to move on, and live my life. I suggest you do the same. Have a good one." And disconnect. There and then. if the 'phone doesn't ring within 30 seconds I'll be surprised, but in any case, do not pick up and talk to her again. It will make it clear to her. From this point on - do likewise.
Author sid3 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 So she calls me again just before lunch. Apparently she doesn't want me to be mad or upset with her. Umm, ok. More pyscho babble about living by God's word. Holy sh*t. Enough already. I'm starting to see she's full of it now that I recall she hasn't made it to church in the last three or four weeks. So I tell her it's better that we don't continue to speak. That seeing as she's no longer my GF that I would like and need to move on and heal. She say's she'd like to be my GF still and I should think about it. At that point I told her she's chosen her faith over anything else. I respect that and I life is too short to settle and be unhappy. She reminded me that there is another life after this one. That was enough for me. So I said I'm not going to call because it will just keep me stuck. Well if you don't want me to call you I'll understand, she says. I'm like, ok. So you'll call me later... wow. I could never understand why people talked about putting tabasco sauce in a used condom. Sadly now I know... I'd bet my house she's going to call me and ask for a ride tomorrow because it's going to snow. Hmmm, opting to be single means no sex, staying with her ment no more sex. Sex can be so over rated, now I remember why I haven't actively persued in for some time. I can't help but wonder if it's just me or if other people have to deal with this kind of drama. Instead of telling her not to call, if she continues to call me I'm going to ask her for her single friend's number. That outta do it. I'll tell her god told me to ask, now you have to give it to me.
Trialbyfire Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 "I'm not mad or upset at you. I would just like you to stop preaching to me. kthxbye!"
Geishawhelk Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Sid, really, forgive me for saying so, but you really need to do just stop her calling. If it's her, hang up. I'm beginning to think you like the attention, and the feeling that you're getting a line over her... Stop fooling around, and cut it dead. It's not kind to her to give her any hope. And you are doing that each time you engage her in a discussion....I mean, you wouldn't be talking to her unless you were interested in her..... right? Just tell her - "I am not your BF. You are not my GF. Please stop calling me; what part of the word 'no' do you not understand?" Go no contact and get it over and done with.
Author sid3 Posted January 28, 2009 Author Posted January 28, 2009 Your absolutely right G. I suck at break ups. Probably as bad as it gets as far as that goes. More than likely I'm trying to avoid the pain, not so much from the loss of a crazy. But rather having to confront the single life again.G damit. It feels like the rug got pulled out from under me. I'll have to get back up, just seems to take a little bit longer each time. I think if I don't start dating soon I may never date again. I won't be taking calls tonite. Good avice, thanks.
Author sid3 Posted February 5, 2009 Author Posted February 5, 2009 Well after a couple of days I started to feel pretty guilty. I knew I would. Just like I had thought, I hadn't been with this woman for just the sex. So I called and told her that although I do not think her belief(s) are the neccasarily the right way, that I would be willing to give it a try. To be honest it has been a source of comfort having someone in my life since I've brought my mom back from a three week staying in a nursing home. Maybe that's hard to understand if your not in the same situation, but having someone who brought me happiness balanced out the sadness. Trying to avoid a breakup maybe, but missing the passion that had exsisted is what probably motivated me the most. So things had almost returned to where they had been. Me offering her a ride to work if it snowed, offering to help her until her laundry machine was fixed next week. I noticed now most of the intitiating was on my part, her asking me to call her. She made dinner at her place a few days later, and I'd give her a ride the next day if she needed one. I never heard from her the next day, no thanks but my work was cancelled, I won't need a ride. I didn't call that day either, I called the next day, a couple times. Left a message, nothing. Suddenly I don't feel guilty for having to wanted to end things because of her God will be angry nonsense. Maybe I just needed to see again that she is manipulative, inconsiderate and likely not that into me as she had me believing she was. Sure it still sucks that something which appeared to be promising has ended, and I still have the same heartbreaking family responsibilities as before. But I feel more at peace with myself knowing that even though I had been cut off, I was willing to give it a try. Supplicating, wussy, whatever it's called. I was looking at it like she was trying to take control, to an extent she was, but ultimately I would of had to given it to her first. What a sh*tty feeling. I'm seriously starting to think that when she pulled the whole "now I want to wait until marriage" that she was expecting me to propose, or at the least talk about/timeline it with her. yeah after a little over a month I want to even hear the words marriage, wife, or engaged. Maybe I'm delusional, but I truly believe she's pissed because I went a day without calling, when I went five days without calling she took away the sex, this time it was only one day so she took away her attention,the only thing she had left to punish me with. Imagine, coming home everyday to that. Yes everybody told me so, run away, she's crazy. I knew it then, and I know it now.The difference this time I've concluded N/C is the only way forward. What a trainwreck, all I can say is God why me? Oh yeah, I forgot, he's punshing me.
Chicago_Guy Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 OP, that woman sounds like she's crazy! I think you should move on, because she is only going to get worse.
collegekid491 Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 After all these years I'm still amazed at how quickly women can change their minds.From what I've been told her reasoning is entirely based on what the bible says. I remember reading many parts of the bible that really don't make sense in today's modern world. I see it as her chosing her faith over the potential for a lasting relationship with me. Rejection stings. Man I was rooting for you right up until this... No offense, but you DO CARE ONLY ABOUT THE SEX, stop fooling yourself! Look at you, the second she took that option off the table you go and bad mouth her faith, taking stabs at her for being imperfect. Reading a few things the bible says makes you a expert on it? Your opinion that its no longer valid is the vito? Your 2nd post has no class and shows how selfish you really are. As I said to my current, atheist, gf "God is first, Hockey is second, and your a distant third. You may move up to second, but never first".
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