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Dressing sexy while in relationship


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Posted
Unless you have big boobs with lots of cleavage showing...based on your picture, you look similar sized to this model...this dress is not sleazy or slutty IMO. And I have a pretty conservative opinion.

 

However, if he is uncomfortable with your shoulders showing, then that would be why he is concerned.

 

The other thing is that he may actually be "excited" by seeing you in it, and then this translates to all men being excited when they see you in it.

 

Compared to what will be showing in Vegas, I doubt you will be considered "slutty."

 

I could care less if my shoulders are showing, it's going to be warm there unlike PA!

 

I don't know where he gets that it is slutty either. It does show off my shape and makes me look real sexy because it shows up my curves and stomach. He's acting like guys are going to think I'm some kind of hooker or something. I think you are right about that he is "irked" that other men are going to be excited by seeing me in the dress. They probably will. I am sure that my friend and I will get hit on a lot. He probably got hit on in Vegas by horny chicks too!

Posted

*waits for thread about LB having a weekend with the girls at her place, kicking the b/f out for the entire length of time.* :laugh:

  • Author
Posted
*waits for thread about LB having a weekend with the girls at her place, kicking the b/f out for the entire length of time.* :laugh:

 

LOL, that would be one huge freaking thread. :D

Posted
I could care less if my shoulders are showing, it's going to be warm there unlike PA!

 

Well, it snowed in Vegas last month, and mid-50's isn't exactly "warm," but I get what you're saying. Most of the time spent in Vegas during the winter is indoors anyway.

 

I agree with TBF - unless you're stuffed into the dress like a sausage, it's not slutty at all. Sexy, yes... but that's what it's supposed to be!!

  • Author
Posted
Well, it snowed in Vegas last month, and mid-50's isn't exactly "warm," but I get what you're saying. Most of the time spent in Vegas during the winter is indoors anyway.

 

I agree with TBF - unless you're stuffed into the dress like a sausage, it's not slutty at all. Sexy, yes... but that's what it's supposed to be!!

 

Yeah, my friend said the same thing about Vegas. I'm not going until March 20th though, so hopefully it will be warmer by then.

 

I'm def. not stuffed into it but it is tight. I think something he saw in Vegas must have freaked him out to the point where he thinks that some dude is going to mistake me for a prostitute. We went to a club one time and a guy tried to grab my hand when I was going to the dance floor and he didn't seem to care. So I'm unsure why exactly he is so bent out of shape.

Posted

LB, you knew that your b/f wouldn't cheat while in Vegas and yet, you also had concerns. I suspect the dress symbolizes the trip to Vegas, for your b/f.

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Posted
LB, you knew that your b/f wouldn't cheat while in Vegas and yet, you also had concerns. I suspect the dress symbolizes the trip to Vegas, for your b/f.

 

Yeah, you are probably right. I had concerns though because he was going with a bunch of drunk bachelors. I'm going with my MARRIED best friend. We are definately not going to be trying to pick up a bunch of dudes.

Posted
Yeah, you are probably right. I had concerns though because he was going with a bunch of drunk bachelors. I'm going with my MARRIED best friend. We are definately not going to be trying to pick up a bunch of dudes.

Marriage doesn't stop over 50% of the married population from cheating.

 

If your concerns are valid, so are his.

Posted
I think something he saw in Vegas must have freaked him out to the point where he thinks that some dude is going to mistake me for a prostitute.

 

When you get there and see that almost every reasonably attractive girl ages 21-29 is dressed the same way you are (and many MUCH more revealing!!), you'll realize how unreasonable he's being.

Posted
If your concerns are valid, so are his.

 

I don't think that's true at all.

 

He doesn't want her to wear the dress because he thinks it will CAUSE her to cheat. That's ludicrous, don't you think? And that's got to be his only concern, not disrespect or anything else, because it's not normal to care about what she's wearing when she's 2,500 miles away.

Posted
I don't think that's true at all.

 

He doesn't want her to wear the dress because he thinks it will CAUSE her to cheat. That's ludicrous, don't you think? And that's got to be his only concern, not disrespect or anything else, because it's not normal to care about what she's wearing when she's 2,500 miles away.

This situation is the perfect opportunity for the two to start trusting, respecting and understanding each other.

 

She shouldn't address his concerns like they're nothing. He has and is entitled to his fears too, as she was entitled to hers when he went to Vegas.

 

She should be discussing this in a calm, rational and compassionate way with him, which doesn't necessarily include rolling over. What better way to create understanding and a stronger connection.

Posted

Let's not get over board, here. LB usually doesn't wear dresses or skirts, her look will probably be a bit different to what she usually does. Combined with her new found independence...yes he will take notice of how she looks and he will wonder (because he can't be too sure of himself anymore) how many guys will find LB attractive. He is jealous. He gets a bit of LBs point of view now. She was jealous. So is he.

 

Neither had any real reason for their jealousy. They are, imho, equal in that regard.

Posted
This situation is the perfect opportunity for the two to start trusting, respecting and understanding each other.

 

She shouldn't address his concerns like they're nothing. He has and is entitled to his fears too, as she was entitled to hers when he went to Vegas.

 

She should be discussing this in a calm, rational and compassionate way with him, which doesn't necessarily include rolling over. What better way to create understanding and a stronger connection.

 

All very good points.

 

I guess I'm just finished coddling her BF's feelings.

Posted
All very good points.

 

I guess I'm just finished coddling her BF's feelings.

I won't disagree...

 

But...

 

LB is determined to make this work so it looks like she's the one who's going to have to take the high road, to lead him to water, et. al. ;)

Posted
Let's not get over board, here. LB usually doesn't wear dresses or skirts, her look will probably be a bit different to what she usually does. Combined with her new found independence...yes he will take notice of how she looks and he will wonder (because he can't be too sure of himself anymore) how many guys will find LB attractive. He is jealous. He gets a bit of LBs point of view now. She was jealous. So is he.

 

Neither had any real reason for their jealousy. They are, imho, equal in that regard.

 

Which is why I would sure like to see this young couple working more together towards eliminating their mutual fears and anxieties rather than playing off of them and exasperating the situation.

 

Hey... I’m all for “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander”, but sometimes the game playing can snowball and blow up on you. Learning to establish your autonomy, independence and individuality within a relationship is a GOOD thing. But there’s also a lot to be said for being subtle. I think too much, too fast, and all at once (such as with modeling what you’re going to wear to your boyfriend in hopes of getting some reaction) might be a little too obvious. Especially when it’s completely outside your norm. While initially, it may get you the reaction and attention you’re looking for, it could also turn into a back-n-forth game of spite.

 

I don’t know. I just hate to see folks resort to playing games with each other. Especially when you see a couple who at least has some potential providing neither of them goes and blows the whole thing up. Just not a good starting point (in my honest opinion) to begin a solid relationship or maintain one. Only because I’ve seen so many end on this sour note.

 

Better to go and just enjoy spending time in Vegas with your gal pal without bothering your boyfriend with what you intend to wear. If you honestly think it’s appropriate, then there would be no reason to seek his permission and get him all worked up in the first place. Again... real sexy is all about being subtle.

 

And when you get home... make sure you where it for HIM too! ;) ;)

Posted
I think too much, too fast, and all at once (such as with modeling what you’re going to wear to your boyfriend in hopes of getting some reaction) might be a little too obvious.

 

Is that what happened here? I didn't see that...

Posted

Hey, OP, nice dress. Very conservative (for LV)

 

BTW, you do know bras are illegal in LV... thongs are optional ;)

 

Have a great trip!

  • Author
Posted
Is that what happened here? I didn't see that...

 

Yeah, I wasn't trying to throw it in his face or anything. Usually when I'll buy some kind of clothes I like to try them on when I get home (I swear they look different at home then they do in the store!) and since we live together he is curious to see what I bought so I model for him. He actually wanted me to try on the dresses so I really in no way did it as a "payback" type deal.

 

Looking back I think I made too big of a deal about his Vegas trip. I know how his friends are though, they are a bad influence. Not that I thought he would cheat, because I didn't..his friends just get me all riled up I suppose. As someone commenting, I'm really not going to get even with him or piss him off. He doesn't want to get married right now, okay cool, I'll go to Vegas and be with my friend then. Sometimes I think he wants me to be "wife-like" without actually making me his wife. So that's what I am trying to get away from right now. Being "too available" has not worked. And it's made me insane. So I'm going to start doing what I want to do and not what I think he wants me to do. I'm not his wife, I am not going to act like it. Maybe then he will see that if he wants those kinds of rights he is going to have to ask me something.

  • Author
Posted
Hey, OP, nice dress. Very conservative (for LV)

 

BTW, you do know bras are illegal in LV... thongs are optional ;)

 

Have a great trip!

 

Thanks! Hadn't heard that bras are illegal, thanks for the heads up! :)

Posted
I'm not his wife, I am not going to act like it. Maybe then he will see that if he wants those kinds of rights he is going to have to ask me something.

 

Well, I don't think that's going to work either.

 

Your BF has made it clear that he's looking for wife-qualities before he'll make you his wife.

Posted
I'm going to Las Vegas at the end of March. My married best friend told me to go out and buy some dresses to wear when we go out at night. What do you think is "appropriate" to wear out at night? (while in a relationship) A dress? A skirt? I would like some opinions from guys and girls on what you think.

 

It doesn't matter, you're going to Vegas baby!!!

  • Author
Posted
Well, I don't think that's going to work either.

 

Your BF has made it clear that he's looking for wife-qualities before he'll make you his wife.

 

Well more along the lines of gaining independence, not cooking/cleaning. I'm done being dependent on him and making him my sole source of enjoyment. I guess the point is that doing things without him and being independent and coming and going as I please may give him a wake up call that I'm not as available/accessable to him.

Posted

Kind of a side note on dressing "appropriate" when you are in a relationship.

 

I always hear from women that they can dress how they like and want to feel good about themselves.

 

Ok, fair enough. So what if a woman never dresses "sexy", and always dresses plain when with their men, but when they go out with the girls clubbing and such, and put on the dog, skimpy skirts, cleavage galore.....what does that say?

 

To me its not dressing to feel good about themselves at that poing because they'd dress like that when with their men too. To me its dressing to get the attention of other men.

Posted
I'm going to Las Vegas at the end of March. My married best friend told me to go out and buy some dresses to wear when we go out at night. What do you think is "appropriate" to wear out at night? (while in a relationship) A dress? A skirt? I would like some opinions from guys and girls on what you think.

 

Well let me first ask this question before answering what you should wear in Vegas while in a committed relationship.

 

Did your boyfriend go to any strip clubs while in Vegas?

 

If so, then where whatever the hell you want and don't worry at all about it.

Posted
I'm done being dependent on him and making him my sole source of enjoyment.

 

But this should be true even if you WERE his wife.

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