Girlfriend left me for another man but still wants to be friends?

[01pr123]

hi my girlfriend reccently left me for another man, but she still wants to be friends. We are at different unis but we saw each other every two weeks. She always said that she loved me and she thought our relationship would be forever, and i believed her. i just dont know what to do now, i feel upset about the relationship split up and i really want her back. do i try to get her back?or should i leave it and see how things go?thanks

[LucreziaBorgia]

Turn down her offer to be 'friends', walk away and shut her out of your life. You will accomplish nothing by being 'friends' except to bring yourself further heartbreak.

 

Being her 'friend' will not bring her back.

[01pr123]

if we stay friends though, is there not a chance we could get back together?

[Peter_pan]

not really mate. your just easing her guilt, while she is f*****g the new guy she still has you as a friend and your suppose to be happy with that right?

 

up to you. do you want to be walked all over like that..

 

is she really worth it?

[Alex_M]

Sorry but what the other guys say is true, decline the friendship. Don't hope that you'll get back together but if it happens it happens. Besides if you leave her alone you'll have more chance of getting back together than if you follow her around.

[Geishawhelk]

No.

There isn't.

 

Everybody thinks that.

Everybody hopes that.

And everybody who remains in touch only succeeds in breakling their own heart, again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

 

You go complete and total No Contact.

Across the board. No contacting her - by any means, and I do mean any.

And you cut her off too, whichever way.

 

She will try to get in touch.

They always do...

 

"Hi how you doing....?"

"Just wanted to say hello....."

 

"Are you ok?"

 

That kind of stuff.

 

but it's all BS.

It's a self-guilt wipe thing. They just get in touch to make themselves feel better.

 

Same thing.

You remain in NO contact. Always.

Regardless.

Whatever happens.

[jhiggins]

I'm going to have to agree with the other comments here. I want to emphasize that she is more concerned with easing her guilt than maintaining a relationship with you.

 

However, having said that, I would offer this. First, get over her. How long this takes is up to you. Then, once you have a clear head, ask yourself if this girl is really worth pursuing further. You may find with your new-found sound judgment that she isn't and you can just move on. If on the other hand you feel she is worth at least considering, then start to keep in touch with her on an infrequent basis, say once every two weeks. Just be a friend and that's it. If you can't do this and remain sane inside, then it's probably better to move on. But if you can, then at some time in the future there may be another chance for the two of you.

 

I share this advice based on experience. I dated a girl for 8 months. Her ex boyfriend kept in touch with her and would call her once a week and just talk. He never demanded to see her or anything like that. Just asked how she was doing, etc. etc.

 

Eight months later she and I broke up and he moved right in. I'd like to emphasize that if you can't be this patient then you are going to bring yourself undue pain and hardship, so this is up to your judgment.

 

My wife was first my girlfriend and then my ex for 5 years. We are now happily married (almost 6 years) and have a baby on the way. But, key to this is that neither she nor I was in a depressed state of being separated when we were apart for 5 years. I suppose the point is that if we cut if off completely, we wouldn't have the family we have now.

 

Jonathan

[Posco_Proudfoot]

not really mate. your just easing her guilt, while she is f*****g the new guy she still has you as a friend and your suppose to be happy with that right?

 

up to you. do you want to be walked all over like that..

 

is she really worth it?

this ^^^^^^^