Camryn Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 I have been "hanging out" with this guy ever since the summer. However we stopped hanging out due to something I don't really wanna talk about. But ever since the day after Thanksgiving we have been hanging out again. We do everything a couple does. Yet he hasn't really ever asked me out to be his gf yet. I know he likes me he calls more often than ever but we don't see each other every night. We see each other most nights but we have been known to take a couple days break. He is really into his friends so I understand. I know hes not trying to be macho either because his friends know about us. I have a 2 year old from a previous relationship. I know he loves kids, but I don't know if maybe thats why he's holding back. Guys what do you think? Girls can give me help too!
Author Camryn Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 come on people why won't you reply to my post? i'm new here! please?
Surfer Dude Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 You provided very little detail, and people can only make opinions and fill in the blanks based on their own projections. You don't wanna talk about why you stopped hanging out, c'mon, what do you expect us to guess? Some posters are gonna say "he's a dick for leading you on", others are gonna say "i'm sure he loves you, he just needs time", someone else "he's cheating on you". Really, nothing can be concluded from what you've written. Provide more info. What did he tell you? How does he treat you? Are you intimate? Have there been any issues? How does he react to your ideas of being together? etc...
FIREMAN Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Can't really give you an opinion until we know WHAT happened b\t you that made you stop hanging out. How old are you both and how long have you known eachother?
Author Camryn Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 You provided very little detail, and people can only make opinions and fill in the blanks based on their own projections. You don't wanna talk about why you stopped hanging out, c'mon, what do you expect us to guess? Some posters are gonna say "he's a dick for leading you on", others are gonna say "i'm sure he loves you, he just needs time", someone else "he's cheating on you". Really, nothing can be concluded from what you've written. Provide more info. What did he tell you? How does he treat you? Are you intimate? Have there been any issues? How does he react to your ideas of being together? etc... yes we are intimate. The reason we did n't hang out for about 4 months was because he actually got involved w/ his girl and they started going out. All of his and my friends hate her because shes a slut and full of drama. He eventually saw that and left her. He called me a few times when they fought and I told him this last time he called and said they broke up and shut him down because I was tired of it. Then I gave in and listened to him and his story. He is truely had enough of her. But me and him have been actively initimate and whatnot for the past 2 months because I know he's threw w/ her. I guess it was just embarrassing to admit. However he does say stuff to me like "oh that was cute" on something I did. One time he was saying how cute my daugfhter was and I sighed and he goes "you're cute too" He has also called me babe before in front of his friends and we cuddle in front of his friends and hold hands. He treats me good, he gets stuff for me and pumps my gas while I go pay. We have never talked about relationship. I'm afraid I am gonna scre him off. I just want to take it slow since we both just got out of reletionships not too long ago.
Author Camryn Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 Can't really give you an opinion until we know WHAT happened b\t you that made you stop hanging out. How old are you both and how long have you known eachother? 26 and 27 and I've known him for 9 months
FIREMAN Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Ok..that helps a bit. For starters, from my own experience, DO NOT try to rush the "exclusive" issue or any type of committment UNTIL things are smooth for about a minimum of 4-6 months more of happy dating. Men (and some women) scare VERY easily at the sign of committment IF WE are not ready for it. So go easy. Is it possible he is still in touch with his ex or still has feelings for her?
Author Camryn Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 Ok..that helps a bit. For starters, from my own experience, DO NOT try to rush the "exclusive" issue or any type of committment UNTIL things are smooth for about a minimum of 4-6 months more of happy dating. Men (and some women) scare VERY easily at the sign of committment IF WE are not ready for it. So go easy. Is it possible he is still in touch with his ex or still has feelings for her? Oh no way! I am pretty postitive its long done! Not just were they fighting and separting a lot his friends were starting to lose respect for him because she was known to have slept with a few of his friends before they went out. He values his friends a lot and I think thats another reason why he's holding back. Its just weird because all this week he would call me more than once a day and I haven't heard from him in like 3 days. I called him Fri and Sat, but today I wasn't even gonna call. Am I doing the right thing?
FIREMAN Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Yes you are doing the right thing. Let Time be your ally. Don't panic and rush to call. Create mystery by letting HIM wonder why you haven't called. Let him work for the relationship a bit. He'll appreciate you more and won't take u for granted, expecting you to always be there at his beck and call. Give it 3 days. If you don't hear by then, which you most likely will, then 1. He's just not that into you... or 2. There's something else going on. At any rate, he should be nervous by then about losing you and he should call you. DON'T badger him about why he hasn't called or you'll come off as needy\clingy and no one wants that. Be mysterious and let him wonder why you haven't called...just "be busy".
movingonandon Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 That sounds like the perfect relationship to me , though I understand your frustration. the longer you two don't talk about this, the harder it will become. But thread carefully - guys freak out when they hear the "Where is this relaitonship going?" question. Bottom line - he's with you, he treats you well, you get along. That's more than most people get these days!
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