DunnoWhat Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Just checked out her profile on the dating site we met on. She's been my GF since early october but it says that she last logged in just TWO days ago! Shes not the cheating type. She doesn't go out much etc and I think she loves me so why would she be doing this? Also she can't meet anybody because she's in a different country at the moment. We're in an LDR (long distance relationship). How should I approach this? I'm going to talk to her about it. I know she might not be looking for dates but I don't want her emailing other men! She has taken her picture off the site but it still says thats she's single on the site. I'm very disappointed with her. By the way this is my first time checking up on her since october. It was just out of boredom and it's my right to do it anyway. Just in case people are wondering.. cheers
You'reasian Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 She's probably just looking to see whose out there - just window shopping out of curiosity.
Author DunnoWhat Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 She's probably just looking to see whose out there - just window shopping out of curiosity. Why would she be window shopping? She's in love with me I'm sure. If she is window shopping she can go ahead but I won't be sticking around.
You'reasian Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Why would she be window shopping? She's in love with me I'm sure. If she is window shopping she can go ahead but I won't be sticking around. She's probably just looking, but not acting. I think if she were to take it a step further, you would eventually find out and could take it from there. Best of luck.
Throne Of Lies Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Be vigiliant! She is definitely looking. If you were on the same sight and her status was different, I would disregard but this is a bit more sinister. Accept it as a performance critique... Tighten up your game here or get ready for some unpleasantness.
Author DunnoWhat Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 Thanks for the replies. So how should I go about telling her? If I asked her to close down her profile I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem. I'm thinking of telling her that she is disrespecting me by being on the site. I'm thinking she might have been bored. Everything is great between us, we're meeting in a few weeks, and everything is booked etc and we talk every night. She also texts' me more then I text her.
Author DunnoWhat Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 Does anybody think it might have been for something innocent? She's living in a different country after all and badly wants to meet me.
pinkelephant Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 I doubt she's looking for someone else, she probably just logged on it out of boredom or maybe she got an email alert or something and had to log in. Did you meet on the dating site? Maybe she wanted to read old messages from you.
RRyan65 Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Uhhhh, do you plan on ever graduationg from LDR? I mean, c'mon! There is nothing wrong with meeting that way, but if I can meet someone else (even if its also online), but with the potential of actually being physically close to this new person, I'd be out of there. I'm all for her keeping her options open to better potentials, UNLESS you'vegiven her a damn timeframe to when you two are going to actually be together. LDR's SUCK for this reason. Someone tell me that this will not be the future of relationships! I no longer want to live forever if this is so. Again, meeting online is cool. Meeting online, expecting to "chat" for 2 years and then hook-up? Yeah right.
Ramrod Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 How do you tell her you know about it? Send her an email from the site. Throne of lies has it right, "tighten up your game, or get ready for some unpleasantness".
Oliveman Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Well she logged on two days ago, but you logged on today. Hmmm. Maybe she logged on for the same reason.
xjadex Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Just because she's on there, doesn't mean she's looking to replace you. I'm involved with someone and we are long distance...and now and again I will still log on...but I'm not interested in finding anyone else or interested in anyone else. I go on out of boredom usually and to see if any of my friends have left messages. Friends I knew and chatted with, long before the guy I'm involved with came on the scene. Women can chat to guys, without having any kind of lustful thoughts towards them you know....we are able to be 'just friends' with guys and keep it that way. I chat to guy friends, in same way I'd chat to female friends.
Chinook Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Um, just to point out... especially with the sites which have built in mailing systems - it is possible that she made some good friends who actually she's not interested in but still has contact with. These sites are safe for communicating with individuals you don't know and who you're friendly with, without having to give them your home contact details. If it was me, I would ask what's going on. Just because she logged in, doesn't necessarily mean there is a problem. Also, if it's a site which has a forum attached to it, it is possible she's reading the forums or chatting to other (girl and guy) friends. Did you look at her profile...? A key to knowing whether there is a problem is usually alot of people will say "I'm in a relationship now but still chatting to friends" or something similar. If hers doesn't say anything of that nature, I'd be likely to challenge her on that. Just explain that if her account is active and her profile is active... it looks like she's still looking to date people. The other thing is, are you on the same page that she is...?
xjadex Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Also here's another thought. She could be going on, to see if you are on....lol. Know I've gone on before, to see if my SO is still going on....and yeah I've seen him on there. Thing is, you have to learn to trust else you are wasting your time. I'm of the mindset that if he's going to meet someone else, then he wasn't that into me anyway. Pointless worrying about things that are out of your control.
Author DunnoWhat Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 I doubt she's looking for someone else, she probably just logged on it out of boredom or maybe she got an email alert or something and had to log in. Did you meet on the dating site? Maybe she wanted to read old messages from you. Yeah we met on the site. We tried to read them before but they were deleted by the site. You're right about it could have been out of boredom. Well she logged on two days ago, but you logged on today. Hmmm. Maybe she logged on for the same reason. But the problem is that I don't know if she's logging in all the time. I never check. Um, just to point out... especially with the sites which have built in mailing systems - it is possible that she made some good friends who actually she's not interested in but still has contact with. When I logged in yesterday I had a mail from the mailing system. I made the mistake of deleting it without reading it so I don't know when it was from. It is possible that happened alright. How do you tell her you know about it? Send her an email from the site. Throne of lies has it right, "tighten up your game, or get ready for some unpleasantness". Having thought about it over night I don't think I'll tell her now because I don't think she was up to anything bad. Last night I was shocked when I saw it because she is somebody you can trust. What I'll do is I'll look at her page over the next few days and if she logs in again I'll definetly tell her. My game is very tight. I've even told her I don't think having posters of boybands on her wall is appropiate and she understood and agreed with me. Uhhhh, do you plan on ever graduationg from LDR? I mean, c'mon! There is nothing wrong with meeting that way, but if I can meet someone else (even if its also online), but with the potential of actually being physically close to this new person, I'd be out of there. I'm all for her keeping her options open to better potentials, UNLESS you'vegiven her a damn timeframe to when you two are going to actually be together. LDR's SUCK for this reason. Someone tell me that this will not be the future of relationships! I no longer want to live forever if this is so. Again, meeting online is cool. Meeting online, expecting to "chat" for 2 years and then hook-up? Yeah right. We have a time frame. She's coming to see me next month, then about 6 weeks after that and then I'll go visit her sometime in the summer. She's studing at the moment and when thats finished in about 17 months time we'll move in togethar. We have met a few times already too. I'll keep you all informed how this goes. Within the next week I'll see if she's logging in to the site much. If she's not logging into it much then I can understand why her status still says single. Mine does too because I never bothered to change it.
LovieDove24 Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Well she logged on two days ago, but you logged on today. Hmmm. Maybe she logged on for the same reason. I like this answer. And yeah you don't know how often she does it...but now when she looks at yours and sees you logged in yesterday she could ask herself the same thing! Why don't you ask her about it. If "love" is in the talks then I would hope your communication together would be getting up there too. Best of luck!
Author DunnoWhat Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 She logged in again today so I now I'm going to tell her about it.
shunter Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 You are in a different country? So how long is this going to be for? If she isnt shopping now, she will be. You can only be in a super-LDR for so long. Maybe you should start window shopping and find someone you can actually meet ??
Author DunnoWhat Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 I told her. She said she's getting alot of mails every week. I think she might have been bored. She has deactivated her profile on the site now. I didn't tell her to do but she did it for me. You are in a different country? So how long is this going to be for? If she isnt shopping now, she will be. You can only be in a super-LDR for so long. Maybe you should start window shopping and find someone you can actually meet ?? Yeah she's in Germany. I'm happy with her. She's a good girl who is suitable for me. I'm not a fool though and I believe she is very trustworthy.
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