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Why are women who stick with an unfaithful partner looked down upon?

Isolde

By Isolde
in General Relationship Discussion

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norajane Established Member

norajane

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Not completely. If you loved and respected your partner, you would never inflict this type of damage on them, whether an emotional or physical affair, unless you're incredibly selfish. If so, then you're not worth keeping.

 

Exactly.

 

Love is an action, and loving someone includes not doing things that you know will hurt them and truly devastate them. And loving someone also means not deceiving them about cheating, sneaking around and lying and withholding significant truths from them. And loving someone means not exposing them to STD's, or potentially getting someone else pregnant. Loving someone also means respecting them, and cheating is not a respectful action.

 

It doesn't matter if men can compartmentalize sex to the point where they can love their wife yet cheat just to get their rocks off with someone else. Those men can take their version of love and shove it.

 

I know there are women here who have done the hard work to forgive their husbands and say their marriages are stronger than ever. But I look at it like a car that's been in a major accident and the frame is bent. At that point, you can fix everything else on the car, but the integrity of the frame has been compromised so that car isn't safe to drive and needs to be totaled.

 

It's an individual decision to stay or go, but I think society looks down on wives who stay because they don't respect a woman who essentially lets a man get away with treating her like that. If more women had a zero tolerance policy, perhaps more men who "love" their wives would think twice about cheating.

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Isolde Established Member

Isolde

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What a sad thread. I almost regret posting it; I have no reason to ask such questions right now :lmao:

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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Exactly.

 

Love is an action, and loving someone includes not doing things that you know will hurt them and truly devastate them.

incorrect....love is just like everything else in life, it is bittersweet and one must take the good with the bad

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

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incorrect....love is just like everything else in life, it is bittersweet and one must take the good with the bad

It doesn't have to be. Life, love and commitment are what you make it. If you find the right partner for you, it can be mostly sweet, flavoured with a bit of vinegar to keep it interesting!

norajane Established Member

norajane

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incorrect....love is just like everything else in life, it is bittersweet and one must take the good with the bad

 

No, some of us don't believe we have to accept the bad that's inflicted knowingly, willingly and selfishly.

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Isolde Established Member

Isolde

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incorrect....love is just like everything else in life, it is bittersweet and one must take the good with the bad

 

I don't agree that cheating is a natural part of a relationship or marriage.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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I don't agree that cheating is a natural part of a relationship or marriage.

some men cheat cause their wife or gf stops sleeping with them. who's wrong then?

Stockalone Established Member

Stockalone

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some men cheat cause their wife or gf stops sleeping with them. who's wrong then?

 

That gives him a reason to end the relationship. He is still fully responsible for cheating, as is the hussy who makes it possibly for him to cheat.

You'reasian Established Member

You'reasian

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i refer you to post #3

 

 

men and women cheat at about the same rate but for varying reasons....men cheat for sex and women cheat for emotional reasons

 

I would argue that women would cheat for sex too, but men cheat for purely physical reasons only.

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

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some men cheat cause their wife or gf stops sleeping with them. who's wrong then?

Both are wrong but as for the wife or husband refusing to sleep with them, there are usually reasons why people stop doing so.

 

Regardless, why cheat? Just walk. It's that simple.

You'reasian Established Member

You'reasian

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I don't agree that cheating is a natural part of a relationship or marriage.

 

I agree with this.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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Regardless, why cheat? Just walk. It's that simple.

it is not "that simple" TBF. in a marriage there are kids involved and social status and mortgages and finances and emotions and a host of other things...

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

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it is not "that simple" TBF. in a marriage there are kids involved and social status and mortgages and finances and emotions and a host of other things...

It is that simple. Walk. The rest is meaningless because the cheater has already killed the marriage.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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It is that simple. Walk. The rest is meaningless because the cheater has already killed the marriage.

life and love is not black and white TBF

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

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It's easy to say by someone who was cheated on with no kids.. :rolleyes:

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

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life and love is not black and white TBF

I agree for many things but for cheating, it's black and white. I walked when my ex-H cheated, walked away from "the perfect life and marriage". Fcvk social status and finances. It was all meaningless when put side by side with cheating.

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

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I agree for many things but for cheating, it's black and white. I walked when my ex-H cheated, walked away from "the perfect life and marriage". fcvk social status and finances. It was all meaningless when put side by side with cheating.

 

 

It was waaayyyy easier for you.. :rolleyes: cause you had no kids.. Having kids makes a world of difference for a couple who separate..

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

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It was waaayyyy easier for you.. :rolleyes: cause you had no kids.. Having kids makes a world of difference for a couple who separate..

If that's what you believe, why do you enable cheating married men with your massage business? Do you ensure that there are no kids involved before massaging?

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

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If that's what you believe, why do you enable cheating married men with your massage business? Do you ensure that there are no kids involved before massaging?

 

 

No but I make sure we're not going to get caught..

I don't want them to leave their family.. especially their kids..

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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I agree for many things but for cheating, it's black and white. I walked when my ex-H cheated, walked away from "the perfect life and marriage". Fcvk social status and finances. It was all meaningless when put side by side with cheating.

the last woman i dated did the same as you and then a year later married the same guy again only to divorce him a 2nd time :lmao:

 

they didn't have any kids

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

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No but I make sure we're not going to get caught..

I don't want them to leave their family.. especially their kids..

There's no way you can prevent a betrayed spouse from finding out. All it takes is one excellent PI which is what I had.

Stockalone Established Member

Stockalone

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It's easy to say by someone who was cheated on with no kids.. :rolleyes:

 

Of course it is less complicated when there are no kids involved. Still, it's a matter of principle.

 

And what is best for the kid(s) obviously depends on how each person views it. We all need to do what we think is right.

 

I wouldn't want a child to grow up with a physically abusive parent. Why would I want a child to grow up with a cheater, someone who is selfish and emotionally abusive?

 

Talk about being between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea! Abuse should never be tolerated. I really do feel for those unfortunate few who feel they have no choice but to stay, but most people do have a choice.

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

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There's no way you can prevent a betrayed spouse from finding out. All it takes is one excellent PI which is what I had.

 

Yabutt.. to hire a PI.. you need to have doubts about your H... right?

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

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the last woman i dated did the same as you and then a year later married the same guy again only to divorce him a 2nd time :lmao:

 

they didn't have any kids

That's her choice. I thought about it for a couple of days, about a year after D-day and decided against it. It's now been over 2 years since D-day and there's no going back.

 

I've forgiven him since he continues to work on his issues through therapy. But there's no way I would let him back into my heart!

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

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Yabutt.. to hire a PI.. you need to have doubts about your H... right?

Unless you lied, you've been busted before by a betrayed spouse or g/f. Not everyone is dense...

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