Posco_Proudfoot Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I've recently have dealt with what is defined in business circles as a bully boss. He seems to have his greatest stride when in meetings where there is more than one person. He'll focus on one individual and then run the meeting without really listening to anyone else. The way it started out was a 6 person meeting where I was going to work with the group to solve a problem (won't bore you with the details). This manager was able to sidetrack the meeting where he started telling me how he was a manager over the whole area, say he is manager over people in the room because they're manager is never around, and these guys just sat there and said nothing. They didn't say they agreed with him, say or act like they would acknowledge it, they mostly sat and just wished they could get out of the room as soon as possible. This manager then tells me that the area I'm in is not his favorite group to work with, how things are done differently than the area I'm from. He basically just talked down to me. I told him that we could talk about these things later and wanted to get the meeting back on track but he would just acknowledge it and then keep talking. In two meetings I've had with this idiot both turned out that way. I've heard him yell at people before, and he feels good when he thinks people get fired for the smallest mistakes. He repeated that multiple times. It is like he wants all the attention and knows everything, while he can belittle others. Anyone experience this type of boss? I'm very seriously thinking of looking for another job. I won't be able to work with this person. He also makes threatening accusations that he can have my group eliminated by doing the work in his area instead. It is a bully, as he is trying to intimidate and scare people and likes the attention when it is done in front of others.
Geishawhelk Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 You need to try to speak to HR. Is there a higher boss who could be approached to listen in, and maybe evaluate his performance? Or even attend a meeting, just to see how the team is doing....? You need to keep a record of his activities, maybe voice-record a meeting, and let someone hear it......Is there anyone else who would be prepared to back you up.....? He's obviously completely counter-productive and incapable. I keep looking at your avatar and thinking you could plot some really heinous crime against him.........
quankanne Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 go ahead and start looking into another job, because with jerks like that, you just can't win. Not that you *want* to win, but if he cannot get obvious, pointed comments about him saving that kind of non-productive bullying behavior for a private meeting, then he's not capable of reforming/growing. sometimes you've just got to suffer through an ignorant ass like that until an opportunity to get out arises, you know? sorry to hear you work with such a jackass.
Shygirl15 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Hey. I'm going through the same. I have tried HR, Staff Association, and all conflict resolution systems they have in place but it just quiets down for a while then he goes back to his usual bully-self. I even reported him to his boss in an email that I copied him as well, but it did nothing. I have just decided to look for jobs in other departments.
annieo Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I used to work for someone like this, worse, really. He had to be bipolar or something. One day, he's be happy dad, the next day, he'd have this look on his face and you knew he was out for blood. He used to go off on people at meetings, and he'd also take people into his office and really let go, got personal and spiteful, just venting. Make hurtful comments about their height, their weight, along with all of his "professional concerns". He never tried it out on me, however. I'm not sure why, but I have a theory. I remember thinking to myself that if he ever, EVER dares to take out his personality issues on me, I'm going to give it right back. He was going to hear an unedited list of his flaws and then I was going to contact a lawyer. He was unpleasant to work for a lot of the time, but I didn't let him scare me. Bullies smell fear. They pick on people that they sense they can get away with it. There was one day when he came into my office, with the look on his face and before he said a word, I just stared him down. He never tried it again. Sometimes there is no HR recourse (this boss owned the company) and you just have to take care of yourself.
Author Posco_Proudfoot Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 You need to try to speak to HR. Is there a higher boss who could be approached to listen in, and maybe evaluate his performance? Or even attend a meeting, just to see how the team is doing....? You need to keep a record of his activities, maybe voice-record a meeting, and let someone hear it......Is there anyone else who would be prepared to back you up.....? He's obviously completely counter-productive and incapable. I keep looking at your avatar and thinking you could plot some really heinous crime against him......... Well, he brags that the director brought him in and to be honest I'm not sure it would help in this particular situation. I have considered going to HR, but I really need some ammunition other than my word. I can get a co-worker but this particular area I'm also afraid I'll be considered an outsider and some will resent my actions. I get along with everyone but it could be considered an act of a traitor bring HR in. Recording it is my best bet. I'm not sure if it any of it can be used unless I mention it.
Author Posco_Proudfoot Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 go ahead and start looking into another job, because with jerks like that, you just can't win. Not that you *want* to win, but if he cannot get obvious, pointed comments about him saving that kind of non-productive bullying behavior for a private meeting, then he's not capable of reforming/growing. sometimes you've just got to suffer through an ignorant ass like that until an opportunity to get out arises, you know? sorry to hear you work with such a jackass. Ok, so I'm from Texas too, and my first thoughts after it happened was just giving him a good ole southern a** kicking. Maybe I'd loose my job, but forever he would remember that some people would take it to the next level. Course I won't. But I sure would've enjoyed it.
BoredPerson Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Not much you can do. Take it like a woman...
fanou22 Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 I used to work for someone like this, worse, really. He had to be bipolar or something. One day, he's be happy dad, the next day, he'd have this look on his face and you knew he was out for blood. He used to go off on people at meetings, and he'd also take people into his office and really let go, got personal and spiteful, just venting. Make hurtful comments about their height, their weight, along with all of his "professional concerns". He never tried it out on me, however. I'm not sure why, but I have a theory. I remember thinking to myself that if he ever, EVER dares to take out his personality issues on me, I'm going to give it right back. He was going to hear an unedited list of his flaws and then I was going to contact a lawyer. He was unpleasant to work for a lot of the time, but I didn't let him scare me. Bullies smell fear. They pick on people that they sense they can get away with it. There was one day when he came into my office, with the look on his face and before he said a word, I just stared him down. He never tried it again. Sometimes there is no HR recourse (this boss owned the company) and you just have to take care of yourself. I work with one of these...and sad part is he is the owner so there is no one to report him to. He goes through cycles of singing praises and cycles where he is out for blood. I stood up to him many times but that started taking its toll on me. Now whenever he goes off, I just stare into space and do the "Ally McBeal" thing....I will think of something funny and completely tune off.
carhill Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 I have considered going to HR, but I really need some ammunition other than my word. One word - Semtex Seriously, sorry to hear of this. I'd fire the boss, but I guess, for you, that means leaving for greener and more productive pastures. Time to polish up your networking skills
D-Lish Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 My close friend owns a business- he's an MBA working for a bank, but has a x-mas light business on the side. He asked me to help him out while I've been in between jobs. He has had a twit supervising for him for two seasons because he can't be on site. This job isn't rocket science- we put up xmas lights and now we are taking them down. The chick is ten years younger than me, and has no clue how to manage people. She's bithy and volatile and borderline retarded. her managing style is to belittle people. It doesn't go over well with me because I owned a business for years and know how to manage and motivate people in a professional manner. She yells a lot, often in a high pitched screechy voice. I've gotten into the habit of telling her off when she treats me or others poorly. She threw a little tantrum on the job site the other day and I made her take a time out and then sent her to the truck and had it out with her. I gave her a lecture and threatened to walk off the job if she didn't get her crap together. It's not worth it to endure such BS... If you can find another job- do it.
voldigicam Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Perfect setting. Take excellent dated notes in a bound book. Date each page. After a month or two, go see an employment law attorney. Be sure to note witnesses. A good way to get real evidence is to confirm anything potentially illegal - just a little bit over the line - by sending the boss an email and getting him to reply confirming what he said. This works wonderfully. I'm aware of an award of over $500,000 for relatively standard harassment, and lots of settlements in the $50,000 range. At the very least, get the evidence, photocopy everything, and send the copies to the chairman of the board of directors and the general counsel's office. Can even do this anonymously.
slippery sneaker Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 I've recently have dealt with what is defined in business circles as a bully boss. He seems to have his greatest stride when in meetings where there is more than one person. He'll focus on one individual and then run the meeting without really listening to anyone else. The way it started out was a 6 person meeting where I was going to work with the group to solve a problem (won't bore you with the details). This manager was able to sidetrack the meeting where he started telling me how he was a manager over the whole area, say he is manager over people in the room because they're manager is never around, and these guys just sat there and said nothing. They didn't say they agreed with him, say or act like they would acknowledge it, they mostly sat and just wished they could get out of the room as soon as possible. This manager then tells me that the area I'm in is not his favorite group to work with, how things are done differently than the area I'm from. He basically just talked down to me. I told him that we could talk about these things later and wanted to get the meeting back on track but he would just acknowledge it and then keep talking. In two meetings I've had with this idiot both turned out that way. I've heard him yell at people before, and he feels good when he thinks people get fired for the smallest mistakes. He repeated that multiple times. It is like he wants all the attention and knows everything, while he can belittle others. Anyone experience this type of boss? I'm very seriously thinking of looking for another job. I won't be able to work with this person. He also makes threatening accusations that he can have my group eliminated by doing the work in his area instead. It is a bully, as he is trying to intimidate and scare people and likes the attention when it is done in front of others. Not that he can,but don't let him try to belittle you,with all his BSthat he uses just to cover up his fears. Does his initials start with D.M.?? Good luck,and know what you do is your best,and don't let ANYONE take that from you.
blind_otter Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 I also second - Quit and find a new job. Seriously. Even in this economy. You need to try to speak to HR. Is there a higher boss who could be approached to listen in, and maybe evaluate his performance? Or even attend a meeting, just to see how the team is doing....? ACK!!! This could backfire on you. That happened to me. Sometimes HR will back their higher-ups over the underlings. My boss at the time would yell at me and belittle me on a pretty constant basis, mainly because she was incompetent and underqualified but liked to blame other people. She got the job because of family connections. Anyways, it all came to a head when she was yelling at me one day and grabbed my arm, shaking me while she yelled at me. I can take a lot of crap, but I don't like anyone touching me without my permission. A coworker encouraged me to report my boss. I did so, HR totally backed her, and eventually after a long and arduous process, I was fired. It sucked.
D-Lish Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 I also second - Quit and find a new job. Seriously. Even in this economy. ACK!!! This could backfire on you. That happened to me. Sometimes HR will back their higher-ups over the underlings. My boss at the time would yell at me and belittle me on a pretty constant basis, mainly because she was incompetent and underqualified but liked to blame other people. She got the job because of family connections. Anyways, it all came to a head when she was yelling at me one day and grabbed my arm, shaking me while she yelled at me. I can take a lot of crap, but I don't like anyone touching me without my permission. A coworker encouraged me to report my boss. I did so, HR totally backed her, and eventually after a long and arduous process, I was fired. It sucked. Holy crap!!! I would be sooooo pissed off if someone did that to me. I'd probably end up shoving them! Sounds like you could have had a law suit against them!
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