Blessings Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Sorry, I only write on loveshack when I'm having bad days...I had a dream with my ex last night and I woke real messed up...The dream could have very easily been a reality...It was so so hurtful...I went to his house and he had changed everything, his room was really nice and he was doing real good. Then I saw his parents, friends and family and they all looked shocked like "hi, what are u doing here?" type of thing...Then my ex kissed me but he didn't want to get back. I felt his body in the dream and everything. It felt so real...I feel like I literally went and saw him last night, like it wasn't a dream and uhhhh I'm having a crappy morning... I'm not over him yet...and if someone writes to me "its your choice to move on" please dont even bother typing cause it just annoys me since I cant help who i love...There is nobody else I can date at the moment to distract me..school and work and all that other stuff distract me and help me cope but they dont take away the love or the hurt i feel inside...
Por Un Segundo Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I know what your saying. I dream alot period, but ever since my breakup i dream about her all the time and it feels so real...and then poof you wake up to reality. Just hang in there.......wish i could say more, but im in the same boat as you with the dreams
eDave Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 and if someone writes to me "its your choice to move on" please dont even bother typing cause it just annoys me since I cant help who i love... No sometimes you can't. But you can help what you are thinking. I have the dreams too and they can be brutal and so lifelike. But I choose to know they are dreams. I choose to start thinking about something else. I choose to visualize my future as being over her and onto a great relationship in the future with all of the flaws I brought to the relationship fixed (yes, it does take 2). Seems to me you are finding comfort in reliving, hoping and thinking all is going to work out with your ex. Go ahead and think that if you want. And go ahead and dismiss the advise you don't want to hear. It's up to you. But I know you come here for answers. The answers are there for you, you just don't want to hear them. That's a shame. But in the event you are ready, please try harder to find the strength to move forward at least. Your ex is controlling you right now and you don't even realize it.
BackonTrack2 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Dreams are only a reflection of your reality and what your dream was telling you basically was a) Your EX still cares for you b) His friends/family don't like you c) He doesn't want to get back together Its just a way to help you move on subconsciously, this dream was GOOD, because deep within you, you know its OVER and its never going to happen again, sooner rather than later, your subconscious thoughts will seep into reality and you will be able to move on that much quicker. That was a GOOD dream, be happy.
Author Blessings Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 Sometimes I wonder why I even bother writing in here at all...Ok no offense , thanks for the advice I guess....but no I know it's over and I'm not thinking we will get back. I'm a realistic and that's not what I was saying at all....All I said was I love him and I miss him...I don't have to think things are going to work out for me to feel this way... As in for the dream, it was just a dream yes I know. I didn't just miss him all of a sudden simply because of the dream...we're all different I guess but sometimes I feel annoyed by people's "optimism" and "be strong"....What do you think I'm doing? crawling up in a ball and dying? I cannot make myself feel certain thing sbut "changing my thoughts"....well everybody can choose to argue all they want....but if it was like that, pain wouldnt exist in this world, since we can control how we feel all the time......Because to speak the truth being separated from the one you TRULY LOVE (and not just think u love) hurts and its a crappy feeling...and I guess it passes with time and with meeting someone new but nonetheless its a hurting situation......
BackonTrack2 Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 You post here because your hurting and want sympanty. You want someone to tell you "poor baby, yada yada, yada" well NO, I will not because I'm an *******. You will get a variety of people responding to your posts, *******s included, and yes we know you love him, everyone here loved someone, "truely" loved someone. Thats why we are here, because we were once hurt and since recovered, some of us. I'm sorry I didn't tell you what you wanted to hear, but in all honesty if the guy loved you, he wouldn't of left. Its that simple, and why "love" someone who doesn't love you back? I don't think that makes sense. What you were saying is, you are having dreams about a past lover whom left you, happens to everyone, boo, hoo, there are bigger problems in this world than your feelings. What I was saying too you was simply, forget about him, its gone, its the past, its over, your not getting it back, move on. I was like you, and everyone told me the same thing I'm telling you now, and I thought they were all jerks, and no one understand but the sad truth of the situtation was, YES, they did understand, and they was saying the same things I am telling you now. And your feeling this way because your alone and you've lost that emmotional bond with your ex lover, he left a void on his departure, and its not yet filled so your feelings are one of sorrow and pain, which will all go away in time. What your feeling is invisible, its not tangiable and no one can put a fix to it, only you can make yourself feel better. Being seperated from the one you truely love, blah blah, blah, blah blah, go outside and find a man to have sex with, get over it. Its been 6 months, pick yourself up already, yeah your down, yeah you truely loved him, yada yada, yada, whatever. In life people come and go, and you will experience many more heartaches, I promise you that. All I'm saying is what your feeling is natural and will pass in time, and yes you are hurt, yes you truely love him, yada yada. The only thing that will help you is time and friends and people. Why are you posting here anyway? Go outside and have sex with the first dude that comes cross your path. I gurantee you'll stop thinking about that guy you "truely loved" in a heartbeat. What you need is emmotional support, you don't have it in real-life, so you come on the internet and post a comment, I won't tell you be strong because thats just nonsense. What you have to do is surround yourself with people or MEn whom you know and can give you a ego boast. THat will make you feel 100x better than anything anyone has to say on this website. And to be quite frank, your emmotions are tied up inbetween your legs, so let someone else inside, you'll feel better. On that note, there are certain things you can do, to release the androphines in your brain to get rid of all that sorrow your feeling. One of them is Sex, the other is stringent excerise, the other is mental stimulation. Posting on this site is really not the best way to go about healling yourself, although I learn that hardway, what I am trying to do is save you time, its been 6 months already, thats long enough, you've mourn long enough. Yes you are having dreams, I had dreams, I still have dreams, whatever, its life and I'm not getting it back, neither or you but I am not going to waste my time feeling sorry for myself, because someone I cared for, didn't care back for me.. No NO, I am going to go out there, have fun, mingle, enjoy myself, and keep looking for that special someone, thats what I am going to do. And YES its a crappy feeling, its really crappy, very crappy, makes you feel like shirt, I know... And you dno't have to guess, IT WILL PASS IN TIME, there are things you CAN DO TO MAKE IT PASS FASTER, which I outline above, so start taking your medicine and speed up this move on process. Its been long enough now and none the less, only YOU are hurting, ONLY YOU can stop the hurt, ONLY YOU CAN HELP yourself. And, its not really about meeting someone else per say... Do you have any male friends? Whom you can talk too? And get close too? Look in your phone book, check your facebook, send them a message, be proactive, tell them you want to hang out and if you dno't have any friends, check out meetup.com, tried speed datting, do something, thats all I was saying..... Dreams will come again, you will feel hurt for a while, then you will start feeling better, thats just the way it works. One day, your going to wake up and tell yourself "Wow, all this time has passed and I have not done anything" Keep going while your hurt and sooner or later you will emmerge with a new life and because you were proactive, you will be better off than you were before everything happen. I'm sorry your feeling this pain, all of us have felt it, but it will pass, I promise, maybe in a couple more weeks, its already passing... your dreams are helping you move on, just keep going, before you know it, you'll feel way better, it took me about 7 months before it started going away, mainly because I was having lots of rebound sex, as well as forming new emmotional attachments with other females but in the end, that wasn't enough, it was TIME, partying and generally living LIFE which allowed me to move on and come to the point where I am now. I still think about my ex, infact I woke up today and said "Her Name", sad, I loved that girl more than life and now, I don't even remember her. I just have images in my mind, that are fadding each day. Don't be like me, and waste a whole year PINNING over someone, its not worth it. And YES, I still miss her as well, I wonder what she's doing, I wonder why I haven't heard from her, I wonder if I am going to see her again in LIFE, but at the end of the day, who gives a **** about her? She choose to leave, she messed me up in the head, she made me waste a whole year waiting for her, she betrayed me, hurt my feelings, yada yada yada, yada yada.... Whatever, life goes ON..... So, you loved him, he left, yada yada, you miss him yada yada, you love him, yada yada.... Whatever, he's one man, in a sea of millions, there will be another, better than him and more improved so be happy it ended now, rather then when you had childred by this man and he up and left you with your kids...... Then you would be in a tighter jam, like finding another man who will be with you and your kids..... Or even worst, what if you had lived with him and spent years with him, and he left, you would be 100x more messed up than you are now... So be happy this happen now as opposed to later.... Sometimes I wonder why I even bother writing in here at all...Ok no offense , thanks for the advice I guess....but no I know it's over and I'm not thinking we will get back. I'm a realistic and that's not what I was saying at all....All I said was I love him and I miss him...I don't have to think things are going to work out for me to feel this way... As in for the dream, it was just a dream yes I know. I didn't just miss him all of a sudden simply because of the dream...we're all different I guess but sometimes I feel annoyed by people's "optimism" and "be strong"....What do you think I'm doing? crawling up in a ball and dying? I cannot make myself feel certain thing sbut "changing my thoughts"....well everybody can choose to argue all they want....but if it was like that, pain wouldnt exist in this world, since we can control how we feel all the time......Because to speak the truth being separated from the one you TRULY LOVE (and not just think u love) hurts and its a crappy feeling...and I guess it passes with time and with meeting someone new but nonetheless its a hurting situation......
Author Blessings Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 You post here because your hurting and want sympanty. You want someone to tell you "poor baby, yada yada, yada" well NO, I will not because I'm an *******. You will get a variety of people responding to your posts, *******s included, and yes we know you love him, everyone here loved someone, "truely" loved someone. Thats why we are here, because we were once hurt and since recovered, some of us. I'm sorry I didn't tell you what you wanted to hear, but in all honesty if the guy loved you, he wouldn't of left. Its that simple, and why "love" someone who doesn't love you back? I don't think that makes sense. What you were saying is, you are having dreams about a past lover whom left you, happens to everyone, boo, hoo, there are bigger problems in this world than your feelings. What I was saying too you was simply, forget about him, its gone, its the past, its over, your not getting it back, move on. I was like you, and everyone told me the same thing I'm telling you now, and I thought they were all jerks, and no one understand but the sad truth of the situtation was, YES, they did understand, and they was saying the same things I am telling you now. And your feeling this way because your alone and you've lost that emmotional bond with your ex lover, he left a void on his departure, and its not yet filled so your feelings are one of sorrow and pain, which will all go away in time. What your feeling is invisible, its not tangiable and no one can put a fix to it, only you can make yourself feel better. Being seperated from the one you truely love, blah blah, blah, blah blah, go outside and find a man to have sex with, get over it. Its been 6 months, pick yourself up already, yeah your down, yeah you truely loved him, yada yada, yada, whatever. In life people come and go, and you will experience many more heartaches, I promise you that. All I'm saying is what your feeling is natural and will pass in time, and yes you are hurt, yes you truely love him, yada yada. The only thing that will help you is time and friends and people. Why are you posting here anyway? Go outside and have sex with the first dude that comes cross your path. I gurantee you'll stop thinking about that guy you "truely loved" in a heartbeat. What you need is emmotional support, you don't have it in real-life, so you come on the internet and post a comment, I won't tell you be strong because thats just nonsense. What you have to do is surround yourself with people or MEn whom you know and can give you a ego boast. THat will make you feel 100x better than anything anyone has to say on this website. And to be quite frank, your emmotions are tied up inbetween your legs, so let someone else inside, you'll feel better. On that note, there are certain things you can do, to release the androphines in your brain to get rid of all that sorrow your feeling. One of them is Sex, the other is stringent excerise, the other is mental stimulation. Posting on this site is really not the best way to go about healling yourself, although I learn that hardway, what I am trying to do is save you time, its been 6 months already, thats long enough, you've mourn long enough. Yes you are having dreams, I had dreams, I still have dreams, whatever, its life and I'm not getting it back, neither or you but I am not going to waste my time feeling sorry for myself, because someone I cared for, didn't care back for me.. No NO, I am going to go out there, have fun, mingle, enjoy myself, and keep looking for that special someone, thats what I am going to do. And YES its a crappy feeling, its really crappy, very crappy, makes you feel like shirt, I know... And you dno't have to guess, IT WILL PASS IN TIME, there are things you CAN DO TO MAKE IT PASS FASTER, which I outline above, so start taking your medicine and speed up this move on process. Its been long enough now and none the less, only YOU are hurting, ONLY YOU can stop the hurt, ONLY YOU CAN HELP yourself. And, its not really about meeting someone else per say... Do you have any male friends? Whom you can talk too? And get close too? Look in your phone book, check your facebook, send them a message, be proactive, tell them you want to hang out and if you dno't have any friends, check out meetup.com, tried speed datting, do something, thats all I was saying..... Dreams will come again, you will feel hurt for a while, then you will start feeling better, thats just the way it works. One day, your going to wake up and tell yourself "Wow, all this time has passed and I have not done anything" Keep going while your hurt and sooner or later you will emmerge with a new life and because you were proactive, you will be better off than you were before everything happen. I'm sorry your feeling this pain, all of us have felt it, but it will pass, I promise, maybe in a couple more weeks, its already passing... your dreams are helping you move on, just keep going, before you know it, you'll feel way better, it took me about 7 months before it started going away, mainly because I was having lots of rebound sex, as well as forming new emmotional attachments with other females but in the end, that wasn't enough, it was TIME, partying and generally living LIFE which allowed me to move on and come to the point where I am now. I still think about my ex, infact I woke up today and said "Her Name", sad, I loved that girl more than life and now, I don't even remember her. I just have images in my mind, that are fadding each day. Don't be like me, and waste a whole year PINNING over someone, its not worth it. And YES, I still miss her as well, I wonder what she's doing, I wonder why I haven't heard from her, I wonder if I am going to see her again in LIFE, but at the end of the day, who gives a **** about her? She choose to leave, she messed me up in the head, she made me waste a whole year waiting for her, she betrayed me, hurt my feelings, yada yada yada, yada yada.... Whatever, life goes ON..... So, you loved him, he left, yada yada, you miss him yada yada, you love him, yada yada.... Whatever, he's one man, in a sea of millions, there will be another, better than him and more improved so be happy it ended now, rather then when you had childred by this man and he up and left you with your kids...... Then you would be in a tighter jam, like finding another man who will be with you and your kids..... Or even worst, what if you had lived with him and spent years with him, and he left, you would be 100x more messed up than you are now... So be happy this happen now as opposed to later.... I like everything you said except for the stuff in put in BOLD!!! With that said, yes I do have people I can talk to in real life, I dont come to this forum for sympathy and for emotional support, i do have my friends...i know that people here are going or have gone through this and can help........some are mature and know what they are talking about while some others just talk out of their ass....... And by the way my emotions are not tied in between my legs and i didnt appreciate that dumbass comment...maybe yours are...my emotions are in my heart and i dont need an ego boost...i have guys wanting me and if sex is all i was after, i could have it...that's not what i want....i am very wise and mature for my age...i have goals and know what im doing with my life....im not that desperate to base my self-esteem on having men wanting to sleep with me.....that's the funny part...I get alot of attention and yes somewhat of course it makes me feel better but just because some dude wants me and likes me, it doesnt mean "ok, now Im done loving my ex." I know there are people who can relate to what Im saying and if you feel that love is all about the sex and that feeling of "someone making you feel good" then you dont know what you're talking about.
BackonTrack2 Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Wow, I can't believe I am going back and forth with you. You are fisty one... You just want to argue I suppose. Umm.... I don't think your that hurt after all, you seem to have allot of fight in you... Anyway you win, you are right about everything. I surrender... Now MOVE on.. How you like them apples? Maybe we should hang out?? What city are you in ;-). Waits for it............ Waits for it............ I like everything you said except for the stuff in put in BOLD!!! With that said, yes I do have people I can talk to in real life, I dont come to this forum for sympathy and for emotional support, i do have my friends...i know that people here are going or have gone through this and can help........some are mature and know what they are talking about while some others just talk out of their ass....... And by the way my emotions are not tied in between my legs and i didnt appreciate that dumbass comment...maybe yours are...my emotions are in my heart and i dont need an ego boost...i have guys wanting me and if sex is all i was after, i could have it...that's not what i want....i am very wise and mature for my age...i have goals and know what im doing with my life....im not that desperate to base my self-esteem on having men wanting to sleep with me.....that's the funny part...I get alot of attention and yes somewhat of course it makes me feel better but just because some dude wants me and likes me, it doesnt mean "ok, now Im done loving my ex." I know there are people who can relate to what Im saying and if you feel that love is all about the sex and that feeling of "someone making you feel good" then you dont know what you're talking about.
eDave Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Hi Blessings. I am sorry for how this thread has turned out for you. I am sorry my post came off as it did. I too am going through this and it is a fresh wound for me so my emotions are all over the place. I didn't mean to come across too harshly. I understand how you are feeling. Nobody can tell you how to go about this. Nobody can tell you how long it should take. You just have to do it as it works for you. 6 months, 1 year, whatever. Overall, everyone here is just trying to push you to accept reality and try, try, try to find a way to get beyond this. I know for fact no one is here to hurt anyone further. We are all on the same side (though I am put off sometimes at those who did the dumping and are now regretting....) Yes, this site can be a bit too "get over it", "Go NC", "Move on", etc. when we are hurting. It is not what we want to hear yet. However, I have been through things before where the people who advised me, and I wouldn't or couldn't listen, turned out to be exactly right. So now I remember that and that the volume of "get over it's" to heart and know it IS the right thing to do. In fairness to Backonttrack: He did give you some insight and explanation to your dreams. I had one last night too that was disturbing. In the end, she was saying to a friend "why doesn't he leave me alone". I have been breaking NC a bit and I know this dream was her, in my subconscious speaking to me. It was powerful. Again, please accept my apologies. Tomorrow that dream will be gone and forgotten. Think some positive and pleasant thoughts tonight to ensure a nicer dream. Good night. e
BackonTrack2 Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 I'm sorry as well. I hope you feel better. Good night to you.
EmperorR Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 The reason on this site we say nc get over it etc is because it's the quickest way to heal yourself. Majority of us here have Bren through what you have some even worse, if you want to cling to hope etc then by all means go ahead your just continuing to hurt yourself. By all means vent let it out say what's on your mind it helps but if you don't want advice........
Author Blessings Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 Hey everyone thanks...And I wasn't trying to say that your guys responses hurt me...maybe I wasnt putting myself out there how I meant to express myself...By all means, yes I am going NC...and like I said once again I am not crying all the time and just a mess...no....BUT i still love him & I have anger inside of me too of course, he hurt me and I decided to be mature, (now im regretting it i guess)....I took all the blame on me so he wouldnt feel any guilt and I felt pain big enough for me and him both...All I'm saying by this post is that this situation sucksssss in every way i turn it...but i know i need to move forward and that is what im doing...& i'll be damned if i let another hurt me this much......also a freaking apology SINCERE apology for all the bs i had to go through would be nice but whatever..............
Recommended Posts