Cherry Blossom 35 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Quick synopsis- I have been dating a guy for a couple of months now. I met him a couple of years ago at work, but I don't see him all that often at work. After dating a short time, he asked me to go on a trip to a nice resort in California. I really hesitated because I wasn't sure about him, and I was freaked out that he seemed to really like me. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t173658/ Well, update. I went. We had an amazing time. We spent every minute together for 5 nights and 4 days and we got along amazingly well. Almost like two jigsaw pieces that fit together. There was no awkwardness, no moments where there was nothing to say. Usually I feel like there are always these moments of silence and I'm filling in the blanks, but with this guy, our conversation just flows. It's like we have the same brain or something. The sex was vanilla at first, and I was concerned about that because I felt like I wasn't connecting with him the way that I wanted to, but it got a lot better as the trip went on. I know you'll be happy to hear that, Carhill! I want to write some of the ways in which this guy seems so different from the others. 1. He paid for the hotel and used his miles to get me there. He said he was didn't mind at all, he was just happy I could come. (Yes, I bought dinner a couple of times in gratitude!) 2. He is unafraid to tell me how he feels. He comes straight out with it. Cherry, I really, really like you. Etc. etc. 3. He is the mover in the relationship- he is the one who is arranging for us to get together, he is the one who wants me to be his gf, etc. I'm not sitting around thinking, is he seeing someone else? Does he see a future with me? 4. He's already talking about our next trip! 5. Our conversation flows so easily, and we seem to be on the same page. 6. I don't hide myself from him. I usually hide parts of my life from guys. I can seem to be a contradiction at times. I love to go out and have a great time, but I also attend church somewhat regularly. I hang out with the hipsters. No one I know here goes to church. At first, I really was unsure about him. I started a couple of threads. I feel different now. So I'm taking it one day at a time, and I have enough experience to know that this could disappear at any moment. Yeah, sometimes I still struggle with that. How much do you just trust and allow good things to happen? A healthy dose of cynicism can be good, but too much can be toxic. At the very least, I am having a great time and a healthy relationship, and that's awesome.
Rebellious Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 ... that's awesome. Awesome, Blossom -- hey that even rhymes:bunny:
Trialbyfire Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 'Grats Cherry! Your relationship is progressing as it should be. This is a guy who's honestly interested and emotionally available. I don't know both your backgrounds but if you come from similar backgrounds, your triggers will be similar so things progress and flow naturally. No pressure, no drama, just cooperative effort. Good relationships require a minimum of work. Non-viable relationships are never-ending projects! People confuse the emotional rollercoaster with love, due to the soaring highs. When you grind down into it, the lows are horrendous, thus making the highs seem even better. So they work and work and work to get the highs. A total addiction to needless drama. As well, if people continue being the drama catalyst, they're never going to have a viable, mature relationship, whether it lasts for a short time or lasts long-term.
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 Thanks guys! Trial, I totally know what you mean by the highs and lows. I know them very well! We do come from similar backgrounds, even though he is from another country. Well, his country isn't that different from the US. They just talk funny, haha. Rebellious- Awesome, Blossom, I kinda like that!
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 Trial- also so awesome to hear that things are going so well with your snowman! I've enjoyed your updates.
Trialbyfire Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Thanks Cherry. It's naturally progressing, very, very well!
melodymatters Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 'Grats Cherry! Your relationship is progressing as it should be. This is a guy who's honestly interested and emotionally available. I don't know both your backgrounds but if you come from similar backgrounds, your triggers will be similar so things progress and flow naturally. No pressure, no drama, just cooperative effort. Good relationships require a minimum of work. Non-viable relationships are never-ending projects! People confuse the emotional rollercoaster with love, due to the soaring highs. When you grind down into it, the lows are horrendous, thus making the highs seem even better. So they work and work and work to get the highs. A total addiction to needless drama. As well, if people continue being the drama catalyst, they're never going to have a viable, mature relationship, whether it lasts for a short time or lasts long-term. Hear ! Hear ! I was just thinking the same thing this morning, about how effortless my R is, how we just get along, are best friends, no drama, and how still and all it's so exciting because there is so much warmth and fun there ! I am SO glad cherry, I remember your thread when you were questioning, NICE when things work out huh ?!? This guy sounds like a keeper, so keep us updated ! ( AND I haven't seen any snowman updates lately, no fair !)
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 Thanks Melody, I will!
Girlygirl1977 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Sounds like a nice healthy start. Wonderful story!
Isolde Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 This made me smile. You sound comfortable with this guy, but at the same time, it seems like you have enough that's different between you two to keep things interesting. I also like how you weren't sure about him at the start. I'm tired of hearing about how people are sure in the first 5 minutes that they want to date someone, haha.
Author Cherry Blossom 35 Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 Yeah, Isolde, I know what you mean. Like someone sprinkled fairy dust over them or something. I always find it interesting when you hear about women who go on one date with a guy and go home and tell their friends, this is the man I'm going to marry. Really? After one date? I've had some amazing first dates, with incredible chemistry. I could easily have thought something like that. All it really means is that you feel chemistry and you can see enough commonalities between the two of you to envision a future. My hairdresser and I were talking about this the other day. She said she dated her guy for a while before she ever really felt anything. Now they live together and it sounds like he is an amazing boyfriend.
Isolde Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 IME, it's usually pretty obvious if you DON'T want to be dating someone, but it's not always gonna be evident immediately whether you DO. It takes time to get to know someone, especially with certain personality types. Of course, there has to be an initial liking/attraction, that goes without saying, and I think you had that with this guy. At any rate, I'm so happy for you that this guy is taking the lead--you seem to be genuinely enjoying that, rather than just dating him because he likes you. I've always admired your lack of desperation.
Miss Ting Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Yay! Sounds good so far. Let's keep our fingers crossed!
pandagirl Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Aw, I like this story! I hope things continue to go well with you and guy!
sb129 Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 COngratulations CB! I remember that thread, well done, sounds like a fabulous healthy start. May it continue! xx
rod_in_gtown Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Awesome, Blossom -- hey that even rhymes:bunny: Hmmm that makes me hungry
Capricciosa Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Congrats! It's great to hear a good story on here (mine is going quite well too--there must be something in the air this year).
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