You'reasian Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I recently starting talking to this really stunning girl. She is super girly, and nice. She didn't have any big flaws and she was just crazy hot. The other night, we were talking and I asked her what was the craziest thing she had ever done. She told me that she was a blowjob betty when she was drunk. Apparently in high school she would go to parties, get drunk, and then blow dudes, two or more a night, right there in front of everyone. Does anyone have any insight into this behavior? I thought it was just something that happened in takecky porn, I'd like to know your perspective on it. What's past is past. Let it go. Now, if this happened 2 weeks ago - its material. If not, don't persue the issue and keep it cool with her.
Author Throne Of Lies Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 What's past is past. Let it go. Now' date=' if this happened 2 weeks ago - its material. If not, don't persue the issue and keep it cool with her.[/quote'] That's a rather simplistic viewpoint, don't you think? Nothing happens in a vacuum. I'm not jealous, read the posts to ascertain that, I'm measuring risk, and this seems too risky. Date this chick after she recently did that? Why? Because she is hot? Not likely. Not the point of the post either.
carhill Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 From the tone of your posts, OP, IMO, you assess this risk as significant. If your goal is a LTR, I think your assessment (or perhaps my analysis of it) is healthy. Tell me, when you are out with her socially, what signals do you observe from her?
Author Throne Of Lies Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 There aren't any obvious tells when we are out. She doesn't like associating with her peers too much, she avoids people in that range. That tells me that she has some sort of remorse/shame over what she did- I get the feeling like she has that 'he knows' feeling when she associates with people her age or in her social circle. Considering how public her actions were, that is reasonable. My aim is a LTR-- I'm tempted to ramp up her emotions and bed her but that would be as immoral as it is awesome. I know the longer I'm with her the more I'm going to want to do that, so it is best if I get out now, before the smoke becomes fire. Since I now don't want a LTR, in light of these new discoveries, my aim is twofold 1. get away clean and 2. do no harm.
fishtaco Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Can you invite me to her parties? j/k Actually I think unless she has STD, it doesn't really matter anyway. The reason is, she's only 18. I doubt she's looking for marriage, she's probably just looking for whatever because she doesn't even know what she wants. Even women in early 20's tend to be notoriously flaky and unpredictable. Don't treat her like she's 28. Although I'm pretty sure if anything happens between you two, this won't be a long term relationship. So depends on if you're looking for LTR. There's also the issue of deal breaker. For some people what she has done would be a deal breaker. But that varies from people to people. IMHO, you and her both don't know what she wants. If she goes through several years of short term relationships until she turns 25 and figures things out, and you happened to be one of the relationships in her past, that sounds pretty normal to me, with or with out the party BJ behavior. The only difference between dating a "normal" 18 year old that I see is that this relationship will have very minimal chance of becoming an LTR, not due to her extracurricular HS activities, but due to her emotional damage. But, how many 18 year olds end up in an LTR anyway? Plus it's not like 35 year olds don't have emotional damage, they just know how to hide it better. Although you should brace yourself for some teen drama. Most likely she won't know how to be in a relationship. But that comes with the age, not related to her BJ expertise.
Ramrod Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Statistics say about fifty percent of all woman have been subjected to some form of molestion or sexual abuse. From my own experience, it's more like seventy percent. This young woman sees herself as damaged goods. Whatever you choose to do with her, be a friend, be a lover or be the next guy to abandon her because of her sexual history, do it delicately and with compassion. Leave her in a better place than you found her. And for sake of all that is good, please stop joking about her in the manner in which you have chosen to do so in this forum. Bj Betty? Cum dumpster?? Come on, that's completely inappropriate given your supposed concern for her. Listen to your heart and trust your instincts. Is this woman kind, gentle and loving to you? Do you enjoy spending time with her? If the answer is yes, then by all means pursue a relationship with her. If your only reason for not pursuing a relationship with her is on account of the fact she did some outrageous sexual activities at a party (see-cry for attention, needs therapy/counseling or time spent in a loving nurturing relationship) then what you tell her is that your not well-suited to be her boyfriend. Tell her that the reasons are your not ready for a relationship at this time in your life. Please don't put the blame on her. She's probably a very, very wounded soul and needs someone very kind, considerate and caring in her life right about now. Be that guy or get gone, my advice, for what it's worth.
griffinchicken53 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 how many parties were there? if it was one party i wouldn't think much of it, someone mentioned abuse, so maybe she was seeking attention. I knew a girl who gave this guy head and alot of people heard about it. A rumor started that she blew a guy in a backroom of some backwoods grocery store with people watching. But i don't know if that was true. i was out with a friend one day and ran into her. somehow it came up in conversation about the first time she did it. she had heard some guy had a big c*ck and if we knew if it was true. later i heard she blew the guy at a party while he was passed out drunk. so not sure what she got out of it. but it wasn't til she started actually dating a guy that she actually had sex and quit with the random head giving. I understand your concern. Maybe she needs to talk about it, like a psychologist or something and work through whatever issues there are. and i can never think of a mcdonald's in the same way now.
sally4sara Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Statistics say about fifty percent of all woman have been subjected to some form of molestion or sexual abuse. From my own experience, it's more like seventy percent. This young woman sees herself as damaged goods. Whatever you choose to do with her, be a friend, be a lover or be the next guy to abandon her because of her sexual history, do it delicately and with compassion. Leave her in a better place than you found her. And for sake of all that is good, please stop joking about her in the manner in which you have chosen to do so in this forum. Bj Betty? Cum dumpster?? Come on, that's completely inappropriate given your supposed concern for her. Listen to your heart and trust your instincts. Is this woman kind, gentle and loving to you? Do you enjoy spending time with her? If the answer is yes, then by all means pursue a relationship with her. If your only reason for not pursuing a relationship with her is on account of the fact she did some outrageous sexual activities at a party (see-cry for attention, needs therapy/counseling or time spent in a loving nurturing relationship) then what you tell her is that your not well-suited to be her boyfriend. Tell her that the reasons are your not ready for a relationship at this time in your life. Please don't put the blame on her. She's probably a very, very wounded soul and needs someone very kind, considerate and caring in her life right about now. Be that guy or get gone, my advice, for what it's worth. This is AMAZING advise. Very cool of you ramrod!
Author Throne Of Lies Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 Those are the terms she used. I should have mentioned that, especially as she surrendered the info pretty easily. See how that modifies things? I had actually never heard either of them, and when she brought them up over the phone there was a lot of "What? What? Huh? What did you say?" that I'm sure made things even more awkward. I'm not a vindictive dude by any measure, and not a jealous one either, but I'm amused by people on this forum who think that actions never have consequences, past is never precedent. I'd agree with your 70% figure from my own experience. I wouldn't agree with your implication that finding out you are in a radically different situation than the one you thought you were in and folding as a result is some sort of abandonment. I appreciate your advice, and the admonishment to be sensitive is well received, however confused I may be about her own treatment of these events. I am just not of the opinion that because someone was wounded by someone else, anyone with whom they share a mutual connection with is required to become some sort of repairman. Obviously friendship is the desirable outcome here, I just don't get the occasional, subtle animosity towards immediately taking a LTR out of the picture.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Wow, things sure have changed from when I was in high school. It sounds like she is an attention seeker. Keep that in mind.
Dumbledore Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 She's gone to a lot of trouble to polish her technique. Your loss.
JohnnyBlaze Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 It could just be that she likes you and wanted you to know everything up front. If she breaks it to you, she can answer your questions and allay your fears right then and there. If you found out 3 months from now from some other guy who had a little fun with her at a party, you'd probably be livid, and that'd be it for the two of you. I believe the expression is "he who breaks the news, controls the news". Years ago, I dated a girl who I had just met (through a friend), and we got along great. Once we had established that we were a full-fledged couple, she gave me a little history lesson. Prior to me, she had a sexual history that would've made Wilt Chamberlain jealous and a booze & pot habit that would've killed Keith Richards (like many women, she had a rough past, and this was her way of dealing with it). But I didn't know any of that at the time. All I knew was I was with this beautiful woman and we were both madly in love with each other. She stopped sleeping around because of me, and she also gave up all drugs and only drank socially. Why? Easy; I gave her an alternative to what she knew. She and I met, and she found someone who was trying to get in her heart, not her pants. She didn't need the booze and drugs to numb the pain anymore; she now felt good just being herself, and she had a guy who wanted her in his arms even more than in his bed. All because I saw her as just a regular girl. Point being, if you like this girl, give her a chance. As long as she's clean and her past stays in the past, you could be just the guy she wants for a good, long term relationship.
JerseyShortie Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 I completely agree with Ramrod's post. Now- do I reference the fact that dozens of men used her mouth as a cum dumpster or just make something up when I seal it off? It would seem pretty tasteless to me, I imagine she knows why I'm doing it no matter what happens. Ugh, this is going to be unpleasant. One of the most heinous and completely degrading terms you can use for a woman is to refer to any part of her body as a "cum dumpster". I really find the ease to which you through this term around disturbing. Can we lay off the completely degrading crap? I hate the kind of crap I see today with the way men refer to women with such ease like it's normal to throw around terms like "cum dumpster". And gee, I wonder why women are trying to get validation like this poor girl. Too many girls fall in that trap. They are damanged but they want male attention and validation. They don't need weak minded men to drag them down. They need strong men who are going to show them honor and respect. Otherwise, you are no better then how you feel about this girl.
mr.dream merchant Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 OP, imo, you should stray away from her. Find yourself a nice respectable girl to hook up with, not every guy at the party's fun for the night.
You'reasian Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Can we lay off the completely degrading crap? I hate the kind of crap I see today with the way men refer to women with such ease like it's normal to throw around terms like "cum dumpster". And gee, I wonder why women are trying to get validation like this poor girl. Too many girls fall in that trap. They are damaged but they want male attention and validation. They don't need weak minded men to drag them down. They need strong men who are going to show them honor and respect. Otherwise, you are no better then how you feel about this girl. Strong men are not going to honor or respect a woman who isn't honorable or respectful herself - they might be a gentleman, but a woman has to demonstrate this first.
mr.dream merchant Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Strong men are not going to honor or respect a woman who isn't honorable or respectful herself - they might be a gentleman' date=' but a woman has to demonstrate this first.[/quote'] You know? The trashiest girls will march around demanding respect and to be treated like royalty. ROFL? Respect yourself first and maybe guys will think about giving you more than just a good time.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Strong men are not going to honor or respect a woman who isn't honorable or respectful herself - they might be a gentleman' date=' but a woman has to demonstrate this first.[/quote'] And I would argue that the men partaking in these so-called "Blow job parties" are not behaving honorably or respectably, either.
You'reasian Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 You know? The trashiest girls will march around demanding respect and to be treated like royalty. ROFL? Respect yourself first and maybe guys will think about giving you more than just a good time. My point exactly. Take the higher ground early on; treat a woman with a little respect and see how she handles it? What a better way to see where she is?
mr.dream merchant Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 And I would argue that the men partaking in these so-called "Blow job parties" are not behaving honorably or respectably, either. Who cares? Those men aren't important right now because the OP isn't looking to hook up with them. You know, I never understood this kind of reaction right here. You tell a guy to find a girl who's respectful to herself and you get attacked by a dozen female posters who want to throw out all kinds of scenarios where a male isn't respectful to himself. It doesn't apply to the thread. And second of all, stop assuming that all males see pig-headed actions done by males as A-OKAY in their book. You're so quick to attack the male sex that you come off as gender biased/sexist. You don't justify some broad's disgusting actions by taking pot shots at certain male activities that don't even apply to the context of the thread. 'HE DID IT SO OBVIOUSLY I CAN DO IT AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT' Nobody said it was right in the first place, stop trying to justify one's lack of self-respect.
carhill Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 OP, if you otherwise are attracted and like her as a person, and do want an LTR in general but don't think she's LTR material right now IYO, how about retreating to the periphery, enjoying the attentions of other women, and see how things go. End any exclusivity you might have with her in a polite and respectful way and let nature take its course. People (both you and she) grow and change. You never know what is going to come your way
Author Throne Of Lies Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 Good idea Carhill, that is the plan as of right now.
Camryn Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Once a slut always a slut I say. Shes obvoiusly not affraid to admit it as she wasn't afraid to blow all those dudes in front of people. Could you imagine how many guys and girls at the party looked down on her? Ugh thats just nasty. I mean even if she did do that she shouldn't have told you. Some things are better left unsaid. She could talk to you about many other things, but she choose that. What does that tell ya? Move on stud you'll find someone else.......
Ramrod Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 And I would argue that the men partaking in these so-called "Blow job parties" are not behaving honorably or respectably, either. There is no honor in holding someone's hand straight to h*ll, there is honor in lifting someone up who has fallen and lost their way. I hope many of the men here who are of the mind they should pile-on and get serviced by someone who has obviously stumbled and fallen will refrain from breeding. Look inside of yourself and fix what's broken. Many of you are here because you have difficulties with the women in your life. Gee, I wonder why that is?
Ramrod Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Once a slut always a slut I say. Shes obvoiusly not affraid to admit it as she wasn't afraid to blow all those dudes in front of people. Could you imagine how many guys and girls at the party looked down on her? Ugh thats just nasty. I mean even if she did do that she shouldn't have told you. Some things are better left unsaid. She could talk to you about many other things, but she choose that. What does that tell ya? Move on stud you'll find someone else....... Please do not contribute your DNA to the gene pool either.
RunAway88 Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Use her and then discard her, that's all she is good for. A quick f*ck and chuck. Let some chud get into a relationship with the damaged b*tch.
Recommended Posts