Throne Of Lies Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I recently starting talking to this really stunning girl. She is super girly, and nice. She didn't have any big flaws and she was just crazy hot. The other night, we were talking and I asked her what was the craziest thing she had ever done. She told me that she was a blowjob betty when she was drunk. Apparently in high school she would go to parties, get drunk, and then blow dudes, two or more a night, right there in front of everyone. Does anyone have any insight into this behavior? I thought it was just something that happened in tacky porn, I'd like to know your perspective on it.
Dumbledore Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Sounds completely normal to me. High school is one big party for most people. Anyway, you can't catch anything from oral, so it's just like kissing.
Storyrider Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 This is what a HS friend of mine used to do in the McDonald's men's room! She didn't have to wait for parties b/c she was pretty much drunk all the time. She later grew up to have a successful career as a cocaine addict. I would almost be more put off by the fact that she told you about it in such an offhand way.
Dumbledore Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 an offhand way. It's hard to say if she did it that way, but you may be right.
Storyrider Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 OP, I'm guessing for some guys, it would be almost impossible to resist fooling around with her even after you decide she is not "dating material." I'm wondering if you will now just use her for sex, given what she told you.
Author Throne Of Lies Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 Sounds completely normal to me. High school is one big party for most people. Anyway, you can't catch anything from oral, so it's just like kissing. I don't know, it sounds pretty abnormal to me. I agree that oral isn't a big deal, but generally blowing more than one dude a night in front of your high school is considered pretty deviant. Maybe this has changed. She was pretty coy about it. I wasn't pushy to get the info, but she wasn't eager to give it up. Sort of weird conversation. Once I had an idea what she was going to say I told her it was hot to draw her out. Tactics!
Dumbledore Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 OP, I'm guessing for some guys, it would be almost impossible to resist fooling around with her even after you decide she is not "dating material." I'm wondering if you will now just use her for sex, given what she told you. That would be sad. Because she has real feelings under that sloppy, wet exterior. If you decide to invite her to a party with all your friends, then don't be surprised if a few of them come early.
Dumbledore Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I don't know, it sounds pretty abnormal to me. I agree that oral isn't a big deal, but generally blowing more than one dude a night in front of your high school is considered pretty deviant. Maybe this has changed. Rainbow parties are really common these days.
Storyrider Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 That would be sad. Because she has real feelings under that sloppy, wet exterior. If you decide to invite her to a party with all your friends, then don't be surprised if a few of them come early. I have to admit, a whole scene flashed through my head where he brings her to a family Thanksgiving and then walks in on her in the kitchen giving head to Uncle Walter.
Author Throne Of Lies Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 I'm a little underwhelmed here. I already know what I'm going to do, I just hadn't run into this situation before and was interested in what would cause it, because, regardless of what porn addicts might think, it is NOT normal. I get that it is stimulating to think about, obviously, but the bulk of the commentary is purely masturbatory and not constructive at all.
Tomcat33 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 It's not normal at all, and if she does do this kind of thing I don't know who she was trying to impress. Where you impressed? Maybe she was trying to: http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=0iU43tSFHjo
Dumbledore Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I'm a little underwhelmed here. I already know what I'm going to do, I just hadn't run into this situation before and was interested in what would cause it, She's just eager to please - that's all. It's not much different to playful flirting, with a slight twist.
d0ll Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 if you're in to dating sluts, then she's perfect.
rod_in_gtown Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Sounds completely normal to me. High school is one big party for most people. Anyway, you can't catch anything from oral, so it's just like kissing. That's actually not true, you can get herpes and HPV (among other STDs) from giving / receiving oral sex. The only mitigator is using a condom /female condom when giving receiving oral sex. Which is not to say you won't get it, just that the chance will be reduced.
Surfer Dude Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I recently starting talking to this really stunning girl. She is super girly, and nice. She didn't have any big flaws and she was just crazy hot. The other night, we were talking and I asked her what was the craziest thing she had ever done. She told me that she was a blowjob betty when she was drunk. Apparently in high school she would go to parties, get drunk, and then blow dudes, two or more a night, right there in front of everyone. Does anyone have any insight into this behavior? I thought it was just something that happened in tacky porn, I'd like to know your perspective on it. Weird indeed. I don't condemn girls who like sex, but this is pretty deviant. I don't have a problem when girls do this stuff for pure pleasure, but it seems she did it because she was drunk and did it for some dumb reasons. So anyhow, if you wanna date her make sure: she gets tested for STDs (some men and women are really mean and selfish and won't tell you they have an STD even if they know it)she's not mentally crazy There, she could be dating material after all.
carhill Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 OP, my gut instinct is that she's damaged emotionally. When such is the case, the combination of "gorgeous" and overt sexuality is a distraction from the reality of the issues she faces. It's a path of least resistance, a convenient temporary solution. IMO, if she's performing fellatio on many men, she's likely having penile/vaginal sex with them as well. If she's been unsafe (and even if she hasn't), you could be exposed to numerous varieties of STD's. You'll have to reconcile the pleasure with the risk. Good luck
spookie Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 An alternate perspective: She's was a fcvked up girl, with maybe a fcvked up childhood. Maybe she likes you a lot and felt compelled to share, to clue you in on the darker parts of her.
Author Throne Of Lies Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 I excavated a history of pretty heinous abuse after that initial conversation. I suspected it, as many of you did, and now things fit a little better. She was adamant that she had not had full - on intercourse with anyone, and considering the things she had told me already I don't see what she would lie about that. Hotness and all-- it isn't worth it. She is a lot younger than me, and I don't need that weirdness in a relationship. I'm not prone to retroactive jealousy by any measure, but this isn't even a typical jealous emotional response. It is just too weird. I'm going to break it off today, so I don't lead her on. Now- do I reference the fact that dozens of men used her mouth as a cum dumpster or just make something up when I seal it off? It would seem pretty tasteless to me, I imagine she knows why I'm doing it no matter what happens. Ugh, this is going to be unpleasant.
MindoverMatter Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I would tell her, but very very carefully. She needs to know that by this behaviour she is not attracting guys, but repelling them.
O'Malley Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Sugarcoat your reason -- you don't feel enough chemistry to pursue things more, you don't feel that you're compatible. Something polite and short that lets her know to move on. She probably assumes that you're not as sexually adventurous as her, so it will be fine.
grogster Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Context matters. If you're truly interested in this woman, let her actions now speak for her. Many of us have done things that in hindsight we regret. Her conduct was not abnormal but whether you find it unacceptable is your call. I've dated women who, in college, had drunken sex with multiple partners at parties. I didn't find it to be a deal breaker. If you believe her past sexual "bad girl" behavior is a deal breaker, then let her go so that she can connect with a guy for whom past indiscretions matter less.
carhill Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Grogs, it sounds the the OP was relating that this women was/is inappropriately sexual when drunk, and she related some history from when she was in high school. OP, does her behavior continue, like in the recent past? Maybe I read things wrong. I've known some women to go nuts sexually after a divorce and it's a one time thing for a few months, but if the sexual behaviors are a pattern over time, then I think the history is relevant. Her revelations of past abuse underscore the propensity for it to be an emotional pattern for her. Tread carefully, IMO.
Author Throne Of Lies Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 These things are still in the recent past- I didn't pry to find out when exactly but anymore than a year ago for the last occurance seems highly improbable. She's barely 18. Since there hasn't been a long 'clean period' I don't really know if she is stable now, or if the conditions haven't been right for her to have another bout of it. I'm pretty determined to end it. She brings face melting hotness and sweetness to the table, but those aren't rare enough qualities to walk into this minefield. It's been an interesting experience, but I'll be glad to have it behind me. You never get used to walking away from the gorgeous ones! grrrr
grogster Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Grogs, it sounds the the OP was relating that this women was/is inappropriately sexual when drunk, and she related some history from when she was in high school. OP, does her behavior continue, like in the recent past? Maybe I read things wrong. I've known some women to go nuts sexually after a divorce and it's a one time thing for a few months, but if the sexual behaviors are a pattern over time, then I think the history is relevant. Her revelations of past abuse underscore the propensity for it to be an emotional pattern for her. Tread carefully, IMO. I missed the abuse part. That's what happens when one Shacks at work. My bad. I agree: get out.
carhill Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 OP, since she's 18 and the history is recent, you and she may just not be on the same page for a healthy relationship. That's quite normal for your age and is not in any way a negative. These years are for learning about oneself and our place in life. Just the fact that you balance your attraction with the reality of her spoken and observed behaviors says a lot about your journey on that path. TBH, someone like that would have bamboozled me at that age My best advice, when you do discern what you think are behaviors based on emotional damage/abuse, is to realize and accept that there is overwhelmingly nothing you can do to change them or "cure" them; that comes from within the person themselves. You can be an inspiration for such changes, cognizant of your own emotional health. Good luck
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