vainla Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I posted some days ago. I need to expose the other woman. She won't stop contacting my husband. Everybody thinks she is a saint, and she looks like one!!!! Even Mother Theresa looks like evil next to her. I have pictures of my Husband's cell phone with the kinky messages she has sent. I am thinking to make a flyer with all the pictures and then mail them to her neighbors and family and put them also on the windshields cars at her church on sunday. Her name and even the numbers she wanted to be contacted at to have phone sex are there. Very graphic texts, I don't believe it myself. If it were not because I have confirmed the phone numbers, (one is her mother's) I would think that her name is a psedonim or a disguise. Is there any legal consequences to that? Please advice. Anybody knows?
ColorCube Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Is there any legal consequences to that? If someone did that to you would you seek legal action? It certainly would grant her a restraining order against you and put you in some hot water. Your husband is the one to blame for your hurt and pain. He is the one actively hurting you, Why not divorce him? Why won't your husband tell her to stop contacting him? He could change his number.
quankanne Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 give up the flier idea, she can trace it back to you and take legal steps against you ... instead, just forward her messages and photos to everyone on your husband's call list, and possibly even her church. If it's coming from his phone, she can't prove that anyone other than your husband sent it. okay, so this isn't a good Christian response, but there's also no "St. Ho" in the directory of saints!
Author vainla Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 We are to get a divorce, and yes, it takes two to tangle. I do not think it is fair, that this "saint" that even dare to joined my family to church just to be next to him, does all this without any consecuences. It is not fair that any of them get away with it. I did nothing wrong. She is married, and he is married. Her husband suspected she was after him months ago, and kept an eye on her until she got her ways. he keeps it quiet, and who knows how many times this woman has done the same thing. I trusted her in my house and in my life because I thought the world of her. My question is, is it ilegal? I would like to a more technical/legal advice, not a personal opinion, but thanks anyways.
Author vainla Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 Where can do research about that? I know she can track me. If it is the truth why not? Is not like my husband is going to sue me because I invaded his privacy. Any lawyer or something like that around here?
ColorCube Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 My question is, is it ilegal? I would like to a more technical/legal advice, not a personal opinion, but thanks anyways. This is a personal opinion forum and not a legal forum, We are not attorneys and cannot give out legal info. You might try one of the free legal advice forums out there. try this one. http://forum.freeadvice.com/ there is even a forum concerning divorces in there.
Posco_Proudfoot Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Why don't you and your husband switch phones? She'll lose the ability to pull this stuff. I'm no lawyer, but I believe any picture sent by phone or email becomes public property unless it says something different (copyright watermark). I don't think you'd feel any better about distributing it. This is something your husband needs to deal with.
Author vainla Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 this is a personal opinion forum and not a legal forum, we are not attorneys and cannot give out legal info. You might try one of the free legal advice forums out there. Try this one. http://forum.freeadvice.com/ there is even a forum concerning divorces in there. thank you!!!!!
quankanne Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 *ahem* last I checked, toilet stalls and walls are still a great place for the kind of information she's posted in her messages to your husband ...
signedin2008 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 The question you should ask is whether the potential legal trouble (not definate, but only potential) out weighed the satisfaction and peace you'll get with justistice. Even if it's not legal doesn't mean she will take the steps and trouble to sue you. What are the potential issues you will deal with IF she sues you and what are the chances of that EVER happening? Take that into consideration and weigh it with exposing her dark side and true justice.
Lizzie60 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Is there any legal consequences to that? Humm... maybe you should ask a lawyer... If I were you .. I wouldn't bother.. she can turn around and say/post stuff about you.. we only have one side here..
signedin2008 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 If I were you .. I wouldn't bother.. she can turn around and say/post stuff about you.. we only have one side here.. Yeah, listen to Lizzie, the OW. Exposing, espeically when the OW is respected by the community, would be OW's worst nightmare.
Lizzie60 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I think if a BS does that.. she's the one who looks like the bitter/angry loser.. not the OW... The best way is to just ignore her .. and move on with your life.
Author vainla Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 Why don't you and your husband switch phones? She'll lose the ability to pull this stuff. I'm no lawyer, but I believe any picture sent by phone or email becomes public property unless it says something different (copyright watermark). I don't think you'd feel any better about distributing it. This is something your husband needs to deal with. This woman works for my husband. He (actualy we) own the busniess. I fired her, she refuses to quit. She has convinced my husband, he will have to go bankrupcy if she leaves. Of course that is not the truth, but we had a lot of trouble finding the right personnel before we got this one. She is great as an office manager, actually amazingly wonderful, so bit by bit, we confided her the whole thing and now she knows our finances better than we do. Anyways, some people know about the affair because I have told them. some believe me and some think I am a lunatic because she does look like a saint, no kidding. I trusted her in my house, and let her go on busniess trips with my H. because, first of all, she is not atractive at all, she is older, and my H always though of her on a maternal way. We both did. She acted as a mother to us. Anyways, I don't care if they are together anymore, which I know by now he woke up form his nightmare, but she won't quit. I showed the text messages to a couple employees, and they are also in shock!! She is married to a rich man, does not need the job. She actually has offered us to invest with us and become our "partner." Anyways, the only reason I want to unveil this woman is because I don't consider is morally right that she keeps working on MY bussness after having an affair with my husband. He claims it was never physical, and to be honest, I beleve it!!! I think he could not have been able to touch that ugly woman, but I know they had phone sex. He was probaly picturing a hot playboy-cover girl while having sex phone with her. At this point who cares. I just want her away, my husband is terrified to loose his way to "take care of his family" or so he told our marriage counselor. Whataver it is, I rather be on the street covering my private parts with my bare hands, than having that shameless deviant woman in my property. Maybe if she is unveiled in her social circle, she would back off.
Lizzie60 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 WHAT.. you fired her and she won't leave !!!!! So .. either your husband is a wimp ... or you have no say in the company or you are a 'doormat' to accept all this.. It seems like she is controlling both you and your husband.. and if you think they had no sex together.. OMG.. you are really naive my dear.. you still believe HIM!!!
Author vainla Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 Is there any legal consequences to that? Humm... maybe you should ask a lawyer... If I were you .. I wouldn't bother.. she can turn around and say/post stuff about you.. we only have one side here.. Honestly, she can't. Even if she dig in. I am new on town and in the country for that matters. I am not perfect and have made mistakes in my life, (never been with married men, or at least that I knew they were married) She could say intimate things about our marriage, maybe embarrasing, but not something that made my hide my face.
Lizzie60 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 This is what YOU think... how about if she 'make' up stuff.. and post them... she can say the same about her.
Author vainla Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 she can make up stuff and say whatever, I don't care, she cannot prove it. I, on the other hand, have the text messages to prove it.
Author vainla Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 WHAT.. you fired her and she won't leave !!!!! So .. either your husband is a wimp ... or you have no say in the company or you are a 'doormat' to accept all this.. It seems like she is controlling both you and your husband.. and if you think they had no sex together.. OMG.. you are really naive my dear.. you still believe HIM!!! I don't know what wimp is exactly, but I guess you are right. I have fired her personally, in written, I even called the husband and told him I don't want her in my property. I cannot put a restricting order against her because she needs to be arrested first. My husband is really afraid (or so he says, the whimp, chiken, good for nothing or whataver you want to call him) of loosing everything, so he won't fire her yet, and she won't quit.
Lizzie60 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 WTF... You believe his BullSh*t... how can someone loose everything by firing an employee... ... geeez... you need to wake up and smell the java... My husband is really afraid (or so he says, the whimp, chiken, good for nothing or whataver you want to call him) of loosing everything, so he won't fire her yet, and she won't quit.
Author vainla Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 WTF... You believe his BullSh*t... how can someone loose everything by firing an employee... ... geeez... you need to wake up and smell the java... My husband is really afraid (or so he says, the whimp, chiken, good for nothing or whataver you want to call him) of loosing everything, so he won't fire her yet, and she won't quit. Lizzie60 No offense, but it seem like you are not following. No I do not believe neither of them bullshet, and that is not the topic for that matters. I would apreciate you read the replies more carefully before making assumptions. I appreciate everybady's imput, but I don't need that kind of comments honey. Thanks.
Author vainla Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 I did get to do some research with the help of two people in this thread. Thanks a lot. It seems like if I were to be sued, it will be by my husband for invation of HIS pirvacy. Now, since his cell phone belongs to our company, is not actually invation of privacy. About the fliers, that could be prosecuted as dible, which is difamation in paper, not orally. To porve dibel, the plantiff has to prove that the allegations are FALSE, which in this case are not. In short, she might take me to court, which would be wonderful because there will be more on her own detraction, but she would have no case. So I can go ahed!!!
Ariadne Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I can see that you are very angry with this woman. But given that she is running your business, I'd say it's best to get rid of her in the most civil way. If you do those things that would be war. Just try and keep things the most peaceful as possible and get rid of that nightmare. You can't be running a business scared because someone took control of your stuff. Good luck though.
Reggie Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Here's my opinion with a disclaimer. I am a lawyer, but I don't practice in the areas of libel, defamation, slander, etc. So, I will give you what i recall from first year law school torts classs. She is not a public figure, so, she does not have to show recklessness or malice to sue you for defamation. BUT, truth is an absolute defense to defamation, slander etc. In other words, if you are absolutely sure that what you plan to publish is true and you are confident you can prove it, you are safe. If you merely publish the content of her texts etc. and attribute these texts to her, and you are completely accurate in both the content you publish and the attribution, she has no case against you. One can make public accurate information about another unless there is some special relationship between the you and her,like doctor/patient or attorney/client where there is an expectation and agreement that info will be kept private. That said, there are probably some nuances to this area of the law that I am ignorant of or have missed. If you really want to do this, see an taaotrney specializing in libe and defamation,etc. As practical matter, most of the time when one stoops to a level that is close to the level of the two cheaters, one ends up looking bad. It gives folks the impression that you are as nutty as these folks, as the general public does not understand the extent of the trauma of infidelity and how it affects even a very balanced person's judgement tempoaraily. It gives the cheaters ammunition to fuel their stroy that the cheating was justified due to the BS's craziness. Fokks will have a much clearer picture of your character and the low character of the cheaters if you take the high road, let it go, and live your life with dignity. It takes a while for the truth to get out and it is hard to be patient until this stuff gets out and their allies may never accept the truth. But, the folks that know you and your families will know.
gamo1985 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 i think im with reggie on this... dont drop to her lvl by plastering this stuff all over. if she is as well liked as u say i wont be pretty. your company relies on customers, and if the customers u rely on are all local. will it survive a year or 2 of being known as the company that attacked the town "saint"? cause you and ur husband are your company. all she has to do is say none of its true and the town will believe her. and i dont know how the court system is run where you are at but from anywhere i have lived things get done at their own pace, and that pace isnt exactly quick. on the otherhand sending these msgs to other people important to her (like her mom, u said u have her number) might be enough to get her to wake up. you can ruin her other ways.... drop her from the company, almost anywhre she applies at next will call for a reference and at that point spread it to them. not many people want to hire someone that creates an uncomfortable work enviroment, but if you make a huge deal out of this whether u win or not any company around will already know the response to their call, It works alot better if they are caught off of their guard. and going about it that way might even get to her go elsewhere if she cant find a job local either way good luck it sounds like ur gonna need it
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