LavendarGirl Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 Hey guys, Quick question. I have a first date tonight. We're meeting at a restaurant that I know can get expensive depending on what you order. I really want to pay 1/2. Should I bring that up at the very beginning of the evening? I thought that if I mention it when the bills comes, it would sound like I didn't enjoy myself. And either way (if it's a hit or a miss as a date), I'd just feel better chipping in my share. Thanks, --LG.
Bostongirl Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 LG, When the bill comes, take out your wallet and see his response. Don't bring it up at the beginning of the meal-- just enjoy yourself and leave the nitty gritty until the end. I know it can be awkward-- but just ask him (AFTER YOU'VE TAKEN OUT YOUR WALLET) how he wants to split it up. Good luck!
Island Girl Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 If he asked you out and he chose the restaurant then he is prepared for the cost. If you must mention paying for your share then do it as a comment while looking at the menu - but this can be awkward. You'll want to come up with something smooth before getting there. I disagree with getting your wallet out at the end of the meal. That is a terrible idea especially if he feels insulted by the idea of you paying.
Surfer Dude Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 If I were that guy, I'd be delighted if you paid your share. But then again, this is where cultural differences come into consideration. From what I've heard in other threads, in America it's a social norm that guy pays for everything on the first few dates. So far I've only dated in Europe and Japan, where women always insist on paying their way, so I don't know how much my advice is credible here.
Author LavendarGirl Posted January 24, 2009 Author Posted January 24, 2009 Thank you guys for your timely advice! SurferDude, as coincidence would have it, it's a date in the US (granted), but the gentleman is originally from Japan. So it sounds like he will be used to and okay with my offering to pay my 1/2. The restaurant was my choice, and didn't think about the $$$ until after I suggested it. Thanks again guys! --LG.
Trialbyfire Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 Perhaps my perception of the Japanese culture is inaccurate but it would shock me if traditional Japanese women paid for first dates. Your guy might not be a traditional Japanese man so let's see how this plays out if you offer to pay.
jerbear Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 Perhaps my perception of the Japanese culture is inaccurate but it would shock me if traditional Japanese women paid for first dates. Your guy might not be a traditional Japanese man so let's see how this plays out if you offer to pay. It depends on where, when, what the guy does. Not all are traditional.
Trialbyfire Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 It depends on where, when, what the guy does. Not all are traditional. Your guy might not be a traditional Japanese man so let's see how this plays out if you offer to pay. Didn't amerikajin live in Japan for awhile?
jerbear Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Didn't amerikajin live in Japan for awhile? So AK and LG on a date... cool!
EYECANDY000 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Most guys wont let a girl pay, but if he simply refuses to let you pay half, then tell him you will take care of the tip
Surfer Dude Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Perhaps my perception of the Japanese culture is inaccurate but it would shock me if traditional Japanese women paid for first dates. Your guy might not be a traditional Japanese man so let's see how this plays out if you offer to pay. Most Japanese just go dutch. It's how it usually works there. Heck, in most restaurants, when me and the girl I was with went to cashier to pay (with wallets in our hands), they would immediately split the bill for us, without even asking. I've even had Japanese girls pay for my lunches, love hotels, etc. Honestly, who pays for whom is really not a big deal there.
Lucky555 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 i think you should have cash on you to pay for your portion of the meal and the tip. However, Sometimes the guy says "no I got it don't worry about it. " Sometimes the guy says "oh i forgot my wallet" so be prepared Sometimes you give him your money and he just takes it and you both pay for the meal. So the things is have money on you. Don't discuss money at the beginning of the date enjoy yourself and let it be. Bring out your money at the end to show that you are willing to pay for yourself. It is up to him on whether he wants to pay or not or what could happen.
sally4sara Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 You just tell the server when you begin ordering that you want separate checks.
Shygirl15 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 So I guess Japanese guys are not the best ones to date. Okay, I'll stick with Americans... for now
Author LavendarGirl Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 Post date analysis...when I hopped up to use the restroom he paid for the bill, though I'd offered at the beginning of the date to pay my share, he paid for the total. And then after, we went next door for a beer, he paid for the total total too.
Surfer Dude Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 So I guess Japanese guys are not the best ones to date. Okay, I'll stick with Americans... for now How many Japanese people do you know in order to draw such conclusions?
jerbear Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Post date analysis...when I hopped up to use the restroom he paid for the bill, though I'd offered at the beginning of the date to pay my share, he paid for the total. And then after, we went next door for a beer, he paid for the total total too. I like his payment method! Glad he did that and it seems like you two got along. (I've done that before and you'll find out if there is an afterdate or 2nd date)
Rebellious Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Hey guys, Quick question. I have a first date tonight. We're meeting at a restaurant that I know can get expensive depending on what you order. I really want to pay 1/2. Should I bring that up at the very beginning of the evening? I thought that if I mention it when the bills comes, it would sound like I didn't enjoy myself. And either way (if it's a hit or a miss as a date), I'd just feel better chipping in my share. Thanks, --LG. Just ask the waitress for separate checks when she takes the order. If your date is "traditional" and he insists on paying, let him.
Author LavendarGirl Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 Thank you InterestingMan, I like that line and approach, I will remember it for next time. --LG.
Recommended Posts