drewicide Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 My girlfriend and I have been going out for a little over 6 months now, and we really have a good relationship and we're in love. We barely fight (1-2 big fights, some mini ones here and there), and it's mostly just happy times. We're both in our second year of college. I also have to mention that we're both each other's first, that is, first love, first GF/BF, etc. One thing that has been bugging me lately is the issue of my jealousy. While I completely trust her to not do anything that will mess up what we have, there has been some things in the past that have bugged me. For example one time I was at home, while she went to a Halloween party. She drank over her limit (underage FTW), drunk dialed me, told me that it was the most drunk that she's ever gotten, proceeded to talk stupid over the phone, and more. Luckily, her friend (who is my friend) kept her from doing anything stupid. We talked about this and have put it away. While that's not a case of jealousy, this following case is. When I first arrived at college, I only had 1 friend, who I went to high school with. I'm now fairly good friends with him, and even live with him in the same apartment (not same room). Over the past year or so, we've stuck together and found friends and formed our "circle", in which my GF, 4 of her friends (girls), and 3 of my friends (guys), and that includes my friend whom I've stuck with. So in total, 5 girls, 4 guys, and we're all friends. Anyways, he currently has a "thing" with one of the girls, and they're both sorta seeing each other but haven't really done anything, but the feeling's there. Here's where it gets sorta confusing. My GF and her friend (whom my HS friend has a thing with) live together, and we all live in the same building on our campus, so my GF visits me and we have some "alone time" in my room for a while, then when we're done we just open the door or go out and watch TV. Sometimes, that guy friend comes in and ruins our moment (not during closed doors), but it seems like my GF doesn't mind that he's just cockblocking (if you must). Another case is where she mentions him out of nowhere. Like I'm just talking with my other friends about a story or something funny, and my GF is just listening or walking in and asks "are you talking about XXXXX?" We were just talking about something else, but somehow his name always pops up. Another case is when she just talks about him out of nowhere. For example, she talks about texting him and what not, and sometimes even texts him when she's alone with me. I was driving the guy friend to somewhere the other day, and he kept getting texts and it turned out it was from her. No matter what, he always comes up into a discussion whenever we hang out. She even seems different whenever she talks with him. Although they have never been alone together, something inside me just screams jealousy. I've talked to her about this, and all she says is that he's just a friend. But the thing killing me about this is that it's so unfair to her, because I talk to her roommate and one of her other friends a lot, but they're just my friends. She doesn't seem to have a problem with it. What can I do of my immature jealousy? I trust her, and I know that they're just friends, but I also don't want to come off as overprotective. Sorry for the inexperienced-relationship post heh.
JennaGennaro Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 It does sound to me like your jealousy might be valid. On the other hand, if you talk about the female friends a lot and she doesn't have a problem with it, then it could be nothing. It's hard to say, but in my experience, when someone constantly talks about someone of the opposite sex ad nauseum, it usually means there is something there. You said you don't fight much, but had 1 or 2 big fights? What were your fights about? You said your GF got drunk that one time? Have you done anything like this while with her? What I am getting at is that she might just be a little too immature. Since it is the first love for both of you, it takes time to grow and for you to learn to think of yourself as a couple and not individuals. I would ask you to look at the other areas of your relationship and see if there are any other things that raise a red flag for you. Perhaps you are just jealous, but without having a bigger picture, it is hard to tell.
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