savvy_girl Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 Hi- Have been emailing and speaking to someone I "met" on an Online dating site, for over 3 weeks. Have been frustrated as he never asks to meet. SO I finally asked him "will we meet by March". Response "March, as in the month?". Me-"what other March?". SO I thought he was playing games and said so. He became angry. I have advised him before his behavior is confusing. WHy is he calling me every day or night?? I am not asking him to, or even hinting. He will call to say "Goodnight". SO finally we decided to meet next weekend. WHy is this person playing games? How should I act? He knows I think his pics are cute...maybe he is different in person. Shoud I pay for my own food if we eat? Thanks~
shockandawed Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 My guess is one of two things. 1. He is chatting with numerous others at the same time. While he may like you and wish to "keep you on his bench", he may be more interested in others. Not wanting to start anything with you until he sees where things shake out with the other. 2. He is nowhere near what he represents himself to be. This can be downright scary. There is a fairly common mentality that people think they can get you to "fall" for them prior to meeting. In my experience, whenever someone puts off meeting after a reasonable time, it's one of the two things above. Why are you waiting for another week to meet? I would suggest a casual and somewhat quick get together at first. Meet at a Starbucks for a quick meeting. If things are as they appear and there is a mutual interest, then you can plan the weekend date. If he gives silly objections to that, then I would move along. Hopefully you haven't put all of your eggs here yet anyhow.
LavendarGirl Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 Savvy, I'd say a meeting within 2 weeks of emailing from an online dating service should be the max amount of lag time. Either he's married or in another relationship, or he's afraid to meet you in person. Send him an invite for something lighter than dinner (less time/$ invested and easier to bail out if it's a dud), and offer to pay your share. Let him reply to the invite or decline. If he balks and tries to buy more time, take it that he's avoiding the meeting and walk away. My two cents' worth.
Island Girl Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 The way he answered the question about meeting was dodgy. He is spending a lot of time talking to you and yet balks at meeting in person. Something is up. If you do meet him, it should be in a very public place and bring a friend with you. Also let other people know where you are going. He just seems very strange. That would immediately put me off and I'd be pulling way back from the guy. But to each his own I guess. About the paying -- no a big deal. Do what you feel like doing.
Author savvy_girl Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 Thanks Everyone- Last night he called me@ 9:45pm, I did not answer. Called him 30 minutes later..he asked me if I was on a date..I said "no, out w/ friends". Did not ask him. He was at a bar and asked if he could call me in 30 minutes. He called about 11:30. WE talked for about 1 1/2 hours, and he stated, "You could have been here by now", me-"I have never met you, so why would I drive 45 minutes at night". Somehow his hair came up in conversation, and he told me he was bald in the back of his head..pics do not reveal this. Became quite defensive and asked if it would be an issue...I said "no, you are making it into one. I just asked if you were one of those guys who had to have their hair cut every 2 weeks". Strange. I also figured out his last name by looking on his comapny's website. I called the number, blocked mine, and his voice sounds COMPLETELY different. Voicemail voice has an accent, different all together, would never connect the two. Maybe he is pretending to be his brother? It is very odd. When he speaks to me his voice is very deep, speech proper, and void of regional accent. WHo knows what to expect!
luverly Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I wouldn't meet this guy....everything about him sounds kinda creepy and suspicious!
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