Trialbyfire Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 I must be different than most women because self-deprecating humour is a turn-off, a form of false modesty. There's a way to use humour to show that you don't take yourself too seriously, without the type of self-bashing that a lot of people use.
Dumbledore Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 Do you think changing "sweats" to "briefs" would brighten it up a bit? :lmao: :lmao: Totally. Boxers, not briefs, though. A little mystery is a good thing.
alphamale Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 I must be different than most women because self-deprecating humour is a turn-off, a form of false modesty. indeed....its a sign of low self esteem
johan Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 Post the ad as you wrote it in the first place. See how it goes. If you don't like the results, you can change it.
Citizen Erased Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 Hey there I think I'm your girl! Why don't u hit me up on xxxxxxxxxx and we can see where this leads! -tp how about I hit you upside your head? P.S. will you marry me? The ad seems very like you. I think the changes you made were enough.
alphamale Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 Post the ad as you wrote it in the first place. See how it goes. If you don't like the results, you can change it. good idea but we should keep in mind that these types of "ads" work much better for women than men. like a female may get 100 responses per day and a man may get 1 per week. anyways, i'm off to peruse craigslist to find the ad
OpenBook Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 'Many studies show that a sense of humour is sexually attractive, especially to women, but we've found that self-deprecating humour is the most attractive of all,' This makes total sense to me. If a man uses self-deprecating humor, it tells me he doesn't take himself too seriously - a definite sign of a healthy psyche and a balanced mind. Especially in a man. If he is strong enough to take a little self-criticism, and even apply it with a sense of humor, that smacks of a very highly evolved sense of self-esteem. It also tells me (in a weird way) that he is actually aware of the sentient existence of others surrounding him, and is not solely focused on himself. This becomes especially important in the bedroom.
johan Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 It also tells me (in a weird way) that he is actually aware of the sentient existence of others surrounding him... This is critical. It's the sentient existence one must pay attention to.
alphamale Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 If a man uses self-deprecating humor, it tells me he doesn't take himself too seriously - a definite sign of a healthy psyche and a balanced mind. in small doses there is nothing wrong with it...
Trialbyfire Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 indeed....its a sign of low self esteem That's because it's a twisted way to draw attention to self through compliments/validation.
OpenBook Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 in small doses there is nothing wrong with it... I see your point. Too much of it can be a red flag in the opposite direction!
2sunny Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 i agree with some of the responses here and the things they point to as concerns. sweats do not need to be referenced, neither does your prior dating history (gals don't want to hear it), no reference to Mom (they can figure that out later). i would concentrate on your positive attributes... you have great humor and a compassionate heart. what about your singing ability? you didn't reference that little tidbit - maybe i missed it.
Dumbledore Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I think you should include three sexual references.
Dumbledore Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 The findings were outlined by anthropologist Gil Greengross, who conducted a two-year study into the role of humour in seduction.'Many studies show that a sense of humour is sexually attractive, especially to women,' he said. 'But we've found that self-deprecating humour is the most attractive of all.http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1038970/The-MOST-effective-way-woman-bed-running-say-scientists.html
ColorCube Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 You do realize that if any of your potential dates googles this ad or lines from it that it will bring them right to LS and all of your posts? You need to make sure NONE of those lines match the ones in this thread.
Shygirl15 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I hope you have some nice pictures on. Profile doesn't really matter.. at least not the 1st time.
alphamale Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I hope you have some nice pictures on. Profile doesn't really matter.. at least not the 1st time. indeed....please look at the thread i started a few years ago where i put up a fake profile on m***h.com with the pic of a male model and just mindless jiberish for the profile. to this day i'm still getting winks and emails of course i don't respond to any of them
Lizzie60 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I think it's too long and need some editing.. here's my version: remove all the underline parts: Single for Valentine's Day, and hoping to find someone to change that. I'm a fun guy, intelligent, and have a great sense of humor. All my friends think I am great "relationship material", yet I can never find someone that really WANTS a relationship! I mean, I'm not boasting, but I have all the characteristics of a relationship-minded guy: - Single (a good starting point, don't you think?) - Intelligent (well-versed on current events) - Can (put) Good cook - Have really great friends - Love kids (so I'm not afraid of what the future might hold) - Kind to animals (and have 2 cats of my own) - Mature in the right ways (hardworking, honest, loyal) - A "kid" in the right ways (love to have fun, play games, laugh a lot) - Not a heavy drinker (though I'm quite the talented "mixologist") - Don't smoke (except for the occasional cigar - which is usually when I'm alone or "with the guys") - No "ex" baggage (it's been a while!) - Have my own place - Have a car (instead put) financially secure - Have a job (which is saying a lot these days!) - Love to cuddle...afterwards. *smile* (that sounds 'looserish' ) And yet, I'm sitting in my sweats on a Saturday morning wondering if this year will be any different than the last 2. I know what it's like to be in love, and I miss that feeling very much, but this time, I want it to last. All I really ask for is a woman who can take me for who I am. I'm not looking for a supermodel, or a couch potato (though I'll take the latter, since it's fun to snuggle) I just want My Valentine. Your pic gets mine, but say more than "Hi what's up" in your email. I need to know you are for real, and that you are looking for the same thing as I am. As for the "physical stuff", I'm 37, 5'8", heavy build, warm smile, and an amazing hugger/kisser.. The rest is for you to find out. Take a chance, I don't bite (though that is negotiable).
Storyrider Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Remember that the primary purpose of the ad is to get responses so you can choose which ones to pursue, not the other way around. Be honest about who you are, but also sell yourself a little. It's like a resume or an ad for a house. It gets them in the door. (So maybe you should tell them that you're spacious yet cozy. Just kidding.) Have you thought about mentioning your comedy and even sprinkling more humor throughout the ad? Humor is one of your best traits. Also, you're extremely articulate so maybe you should play that up a little.
Dumbledore Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I think it's too long and need some editing.. here's my version: remove all I have to agree. A picture is worth a thousand words. But they're special words that speak gently and wistfully to your audience's inguinal regions.
Tomcat33 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 you may want to talk less about yourself and more about what you're looking for in a female companion NO WAY, I strongly disagree with that!! When I did internet dating I stopped, well for starters because it's LAME-O not seeing what a person looks like in real life and trying to work backward from that is ridiculous but besides that I got sick and tired of reading STUPID profiles listing all the exact same needy crap I kept seeing in all the profiles "looking for honesty and sense of humor" "looking for a good woman" WTF? "a good woman?" do you ACTUALLY think that writing that out is going to attract the right person? NO it won't all you do when you create a laundry list of what you are looking for is make some nut job present you with an imaginary list that meets exactly what you are looking for when in actuality they are nothing like what you want. "Looking for the kind of girl that likes to stay in sometimes but also likes to go out" Really now, so let me get this straight you want someone who likes to go out but ALSO likes to stay in sometimes? I can't imagine WHERE you would find that?!?! With demands like that I can see why you are still single, you are DAFT. Forget that action don't go that route. . WHO GIVES A CRAP what you are looking for, tell me what you have to offer. At the end of the day we are all looking for the right match for ourselves not to see how many people's molds we can fit into. We get to know someone to see if we are a good match but we like to embark on a relationship based on the fact that a person has the qualities we seek. So TP I think your profile is fine speaking about you, I wouldn't change that. You did a great list of who you are. The only thing I would strongly urge you to change is the part about "having a great sense of humor", don't tell me about it SHOW ME! I love it when people say that they are good writers, creative or fun, or have a great sense of humor and their profiles read like a Classified ad. (15 words or less of utter crap) Yeah it really shows you are just a "barrel of fun and talent" aren't you! ("you" as in the general you not YOU TP) TP This is a great chance to showcase your personality and your humor everyone has a sense of humor. "I have a good sense of humor" is possibly the most redundant and BORING thing a person can say about themselves. Do you really need to spell that out? The real question is will your type of humor mesh with the people you choose to be your friends and lovers? SHOW THEM what your sense of humor is or do up your profile in such a way that demonstrates that. Start off with some of your banter (use the lighter stuff don't get too crazy on them yet you want to attract ) and then you can list the nice little list you did of the things you are about. That's a nice mix of demonstrating your personality VS listing what your qualities are. We've all witnessed your creative streak here on LS, so open your profile up with some of you funny witty stuff put some real thought into your profile. Maybe talk about some dating aspect everyone can relate to and deliver it on your own funny way. WHO WOULDN'T want to read that and think, yeah this guy if FUNNY! When your profile reads like every other single CRAP profile out there yours just ain't gonna stand out in any shape way or form. Do you know how many profiles read exactly the same way? ALL OF THEM DO. Especially guy's profiles. So break the pattern the better it is the more chance you have to grab women's attention.
Storyrider Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Tomcat, great advice. I'll bet TP might already have some LS material from past posts that he could morph into an ad.
Dumbledore Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Tomcat, great advice. I'll bet TP might already have some LS material from past posts that he could morph into an ad. TP is into recycling? Women totally dig all that environmentalist crap.
2sunny Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 yep, he can ask them to spank him or insult them knowing he's been a bad boy and then runs away to hide like he usually does! like this: -tp runs away to hide... spews venom openly on friends... he he
Tomcat33 Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Tomcat, great advice. I'll bet TP might already have some LS material from past posts that he could morph into an ad. Thanks. That's what I'm talking about, show me the money baby not the loose change!! And on the subject of pictures, having a picture up is fundamental. I would hate it when guys wanted to convince me of why I didn't need to see a pic of them before meeting them, meanwhile they got to see all of my pics. That was COMPLETE bullshiiit. I stopped responding to emails of profiles with no pics, it didn't matter how great what they had to say was if they expected to re-enact Cyrano de Bergerac I was NOT interested. (if you are not familiar with the play it is a story about a man with a grotesquely large nose that sets out to win the object of his desire, a woman he feels is out of his reach, via poetic letters all the while not revealing himself for fear he will repel her)
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