Teacher's Pet Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 Well, as I do now and then, I posted an online personal ad. I always get a few responses, but you all know what happens next...... mostly Dates From Hell. So... I think it's time I stop "flying solo" and enlisting the help of the ladies of LoveShack to help me out here... Below is the text of my personal ad... I really want some opinions.. I also promise to post the replies I get, if any. I'm going to make this my own little online reality dating show. If anything, it should be a good source of amusement. So....here's my ad, as published on a "popular dating site": (beginning of ad) Here I am again..... Single for Valentine's Day, and hoping to find someone to change that. I'm a fun guy, intelligent, and have a great sense of humor. All my friends (and my mother) think I am great "relationship material", yet I can never find someone that really WANTS a relationship! I mean, I'm not boasting, but I have all the characteristics of a relationship-minded guy: - I'm single (a good starting point, don't you think?) - I have no "ex" baggage (it's been a while!) - I have my own place (though I'm a momma's boy at heart!) - I have a car - I have a job (which is saying a lot these days!) - I'm intelligent (well-versed on current events) - I can cook (pretty well, I must admit) - I have really great friends - I love kids (so I'm not afraid of what the future might hold) - I'm kind to animals (and have 2 cats of my own) - I'm mature in the right ways (hardworking, honest, loyal) - I'm a "kid" in the right ways (love to have fun, play games, laugh a lot) - I'm not a heavy drinker (though I'm quite the talented "mixologist") - I don't smoke (except for the occasional cigar - which is usually when I'm alone or "with the guys") - I cuddle...afterwards. *smile* And yet, I'm sitting in my sweats on a Saturday morning wondering if this year will be any different than the last 2. I know what it's like to be in love, and I miss that feeling very much, but this time, I want it to last. All I really ask for is a woman who can appreciate those traits I posted above. I'm not looking for a supermodel, or a couch potato (though I'll take the latter, since it's fun to snuggle) I just want My Valentine. Your pic gets mine, but say more than "Hi what's up" in your email. I need to know you are for real, and that you are looking for the same thing as I am. As for the "physical stuff", I'm 37, 5'8", heavy build, warm smile, and an amazing hugger/kisser.. The rest is for you to find out. (end of ad) OK.... let me have it. -tp can women really smell the desperation?
Geishawhelk Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 All my friends (and my mother) think I am great "relationship material"' date=' yet I can never find someone that really WANTS a relationship! [/quote'] Don't mention your Mother. This smacks of the 42-year-old who still lives at home.... ladies don't want tto compete with momma. And seeing this, they might think they have to..... - I'm single (a good starting point, don't you think?) - I have no "ex" baggage (it's been a while!) - I have my own place (though I'm a momma's boy at heart!) That's my point.... - I have a car - I have a job (which is saying a lot these days!) - I'm intelligent (well-versed on current events) - I can cook (pretty well, I must admit) - I have really great friends - I love kids (so I'm not afraid of what the future might hold) - I'm kind to animals (and have 2 cats of my own) - I'm mature in the right ways (hardworking, honest, loyal) - I'm a "kid" in the right ways (love to have fun, play games, laugh a lot) - I'm not a heavy drinker (though I'm quite the talented "mixologist") - I don't smoke (except for the occasional cigar - which is usually when I'm alone or "with the guys") - I cuddle...afterwards. *smile* I'd cut most of the stuff in brackets. leave them something to find out for themselves...... And yet, I'm sitting in my sweats on a Saturday morning wondering if this year will be any different than the last 2. I know what it's like to be in love, and I miss that feeling very much, but this time, I want it to last. I'd delete this..... All I really ask for is a woman who can appreciate those traits I posted above. I'm not looking for a supermodel, or a couch potato (though I'll take the latter, since it's fun to snuggle) Substiturte bold text "me for who I am". I just want My Valentine. Your pic gets mine, but say more than "Hi what's up" in your email. I need to know you are for real, and that you are looking for the same thing as I am. As for the "physical stuff", I'm 37, 5'8", heavy build, warm smile, and an amazing hugger/kisser.. The rest is for you to find out. (end of ad) OK.... let me have it. -tp can women really smell the desperation? No. And - Yes.
Author Teacher's Pet Posted January 24, 2009 Author Posted January 24, 2009 I like some of Geisha's ideas. I always make a "mom" reference... You'd be surprised, I've had more than one reply from past ads where I was told it was "adorable" that I'm a "momma's boy". Most guys do everything in their power to HIDE that they are a momma's boy... I embrace it openly, and it seems to work for me. (or so says the guy sitting in sweats on his computer on a Saturday) Just like it takes a guy comfortable with his sexuality to wear pink or sing show tunes, I'm comfortable enough to admit I'm close to my mother. Another thing I do when I post an ad is "cheat". I read some of the recent ads from other guys, and try to steer clear of using similar "topics" and words. Thankfully, my ad is flanked by "Holla at me yo" and desperate pleas for NSA sex. I KNOW that when women are reading these ads, they are seeing guy after guy asking for sex, using poor language, and generally sucking. I slip my ad in with the crappy ones, suddenly, I'm a hero. Believe it or not, guys, my tactics are generally good and get me dates. I just suck at building the relationship beyond the first few dates. -tp doesn't wear pink, but can sing the hell outta RENT
alphamale Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 way too long and comes off too desperate. its also reads like most other ads so it need to be more unique....something like "bad boy looking for bad girl looking to tame my inner beast" i don't know, just suggestions from a non-woman
Author Teacher's Pet Posted January 24, 2009 Author Posted January 24, 2009 Ok, I made a couple of small edits. Alpha.... most ads from guys on this site have titles like "Holla at your boy", "Wild Woman Wanted", and the like...... I come off as a gentleman in comparison. Chicks dig that crap. Seriously, a majority of the ads SMELL of "booty call". Not that I couldn't use one.. -tp "why are YOU still here?" - Quagmire
OpenBook Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 Well I don't think it's like other ads I've seen at all. I like it, TP!! Although I agree with the others about dropping the "momma's boy" thing. These women don't know you from Adam, so they'll read into everything you say to try to get a sense of you. But you already know that! The only other thing I would recommend is to put more of your famous (well, at least on LS!) sense of humor into your ad. You've got a gift there... and it's devastatingly sexy. Use it generously!!
Trialbyfire Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 tp, your ad sounds kind of wistful, kind of sweet and kind of romantic. Do remove the "I"s on that list posted and reorganize it so that things like car and job are pushed to the bottom, and things that are sweet, are pushed to the top. This would put back the focus on being sweetly romantic. Also, you have a great sense of humour. Illustrate it more in your ad. Good luck!
Author Teacher's Pet Posted January 24, 2009 Author Posted January 24, 2009 Here I am again..... Single for Valentine's Day, and hoping to find someone to change that. I'm a fun guy, intelligent, and have a great sense of humor. All my friends think I am great "relationship material", yet I can never find someone that really WANTS a relationship! I mean, I'm not boasting, but I have all the characteristics of a relationship-minded guy: - Single (a good starting point, don't you think?) - Intelligent (well-versed on current events) - Can cook - Have really great friends - Love kids (so I'm not afraid of what the future might hold) - Kind to animals (and have 2 cats of my own) - Mature in the right ways (hardworking, honest, loyal) - A "kid" in the right ways (love to have fun, play games, laugh a lot) - Not a heavy drinker (though I'm quite the talented "mixologist") - Don't smoke (except for the occasional cigar - which is usually when I'm alone or "with the guys") - No "ex" baggage (it's been a while!) - Have my own place - Have a car - Have a job (which is saying a lot these days!) - Love to cuddle...afterwards. *smile* And yet, I'm sitting in my sweats on a Saturday morning wondering if this year will be any different than the last 2. I know what it's like to be in love, and I miss that feeling very much, but this time, I want it to last. All I really ask for is a woman who can take me for who I am. I'm not looking for a supermodel, or a couch potato (though I'll take the latter, since it's fun to snuggle) I just want My Valentine. Your pic gets mine, but say more than "Hi what's up" in your email. I need to know you are for real, and that you are looking for the same thing as I am. As for the "physical stuff", I'm 37, 5'8", heavy build, warm smile, and an amazing hugger/kisser.. The rest is for you to find out. Take a chance, I don't bite (though that is negotiable) :) -tp no, it's not negotiable, and i've been known to bite through underwear
alphamale Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 no' date=' it's not negotiable, and i've been known to bite through underwear [/quote'] you should maybe leave that out
Author Teacher's Pet Posted January 24, 2009 Author Posted January 24, 2009 you should maybe leave that out LOL that's not in the ad. Just a little info for my LS family. -tp also glad he didn't mention he doesn't take "a week off" from cunnilingus
MindoverMatter Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 I mean, I'm not boasting, but I have all the characteristics of a relationship-minded guy: It's a pet peeve of mine...so you don't have to consider it, but it always irks me when people start with "I'm not boasting, but..." and then give a list of how great they are. The list itself is fine and has its place in the add, I'd just start it differently.
alphamale Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 LOL that's not in the ad. Just a little info for my LS family. i see anyways you may want to talk less about yourself and more about what you're looking for in a female companion
Author Teacher's Pet Posted January 24, 2009 Author Posted January 24, 2009 My first response, an obvious SPAM: Whats up? My name's brenna, Just crossed by your post. I hope we get in touch, I?m 28 and a few weeks now, and i'm a doctor. I just moved into town for work. If you are interested in getting to know me.. shoot me an email. Have a good day -tp i doubt this is a real 28yr old doctor, but she can check me for a hernia anytime haha
Author Teacher's Pet Posted January 24, 2009 Author Posted January 24, 2009 The ad next to mine is entitled "I'm as delicious as the last stick of cinnamon gum".... So, what this guy is saying is that after you take him in your mouth and suck out all the flavor, you have nothing left but a small piece of paper to spit him into. Of course, some women are into that. -tp like a donut - soft, round, and sweet
allina Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 And yet, I'm sitting in my sweats on a Saturday morning wondering if this year will be any different than the last 2. I would leave this out or change it up a bit. It sounds like you're depressed or something. It gives off this sad, pathetic guy image that we all isn't true of you And no need to mention that it's been 2 years, you don't want to make women go "awww poor thing" or "wow something must be wrong with him, no Valentine for 2 years."
kimflute26 Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 Yes... PLEASE delete the "I'm in sweats on a Saturday morning" thing. That not the image you want your potential dates to have of you. Oh and by the way, your other edits made the ad SO MUCH BETTER. It feels much warmer without the "I's" everywhere and especially the mother references.
Author Teacher's Pet Posted January 24, 2009 Author Posted January 24, 2009 I would leave this out or change it up a bit. It sounds like you're depressed or something. It gives off this sad, pathetic guy image that we all isn't true of you And no need to mention that it's been 2 years, you don't want to make women go "awww poor thing" or "wow something must be wrong with him, no Valentine for 2 years." Actually, I was with The Screamer last year at this time.... But, I'm still trying to forget that. -tp and my ears are STILL ringing!
johan Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 I would leave this out or change it up a bit. It sounds like you're depressed or something. It gives off this sad, pathetic guy image that we all isn't true of you And no need to mention that it's been 2 years, you don't want to make women go "awww poor thing" or "wow something must be wrong with him, no Valentine for 2 years." Do you think changing "sweats" to "briefs" would brighten it up a bit?
Author Teacher's Pet Posted January 24, 2009 Author Posted January 24, 2009 Hey there I think I'm your girl! Why don't u hit me up on xxxxxxxxxx and we can see where this leads! -tp how about I hit you upside your head? P.S. will you marry me?
Author Teacher's Pet Posted January 24, 2009 Author Posted January 24, 2009 Do you think changing "sweats" to "briefs" would brighten it up a bit? Like I actually wear underwear. -tp what's that smell?
allina Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 TP, take that sweats part out!! That's an order
melodymatters Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 TP, I agree that your greatest strength ( online anyway:cool:) is your sense of humour. I totally agree on losing any type of "momma's boy" and "lonely in sweat pants for 2 yrs" references. I think you need to appeal to your demo : a funny, cool, not rich or perfect either but it's a cold lonely world, and we can have lot's of fun with dinners, cuddling and kitties" chick. I can SO picture this girl, the right one for YOU ! I think she's jewish too ! I agree that you don't want to be a Holla back dude, but you don't need to be so..."listy" either, be your fun self that attracts all the LS people, let that shine through and good luck !
shockandawed Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 You know, I really liked the sweat line..maybe without the two years part. Of course I truly enjoy self-deprecating humor. A quick google search (mainly to make sure I was spelling it right) revealed this very interesting article, which clearly makes the case for leaving the sweats in. http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2008/jul/27/humanbehaviour.familyandrelationships From the article; But a psychological study into the art of seduction will reveal next month the secret that history's greatest seducers have known all along: it's easier to laugh a woman into bed than to get her there using any other ploy. However, researchers have discovered that not all humour is equal. The quickest path to the boudoir is to wield a very specific form of wit: self-deprecation. 'Many studies show that a sense of humour is sexually attractive, especially to women, but we've found that self-deprecating humour is the most attractive of all,' said Gil Greengross, an anthropologist whose findings, 'Dissing Oneself: The Sexual Attractiveness of Self-Deprecating Humour', will be published in next month's Evolutionary Psychology. During a two-year study into the role of humour in human sexual selection, Greengross was surprised to see how often self-deprecating humour was used between potential mates during courtship, or between established mates to smooth troubled waters during an argument. 'The frequent use of self-deprecating humour in sexual contexts - with potential mates, established mates or sexual rivals - was astonishing,' he said. 'People who used this humour were considered to be far more desirable as mates.'
Recommended Posts