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So, I just got an EMAIL from EX GF 3 or 4 weeks after breakup....

inthegarage

By inthegarage
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Habibti Established Member

Habibti

Posted
Posted

For all intensive purposes; block her. This isn't a positive sign, this is an ex looking for an ego boost at your painful expense. Everyone wants to believe they are the exception but they never are. Don't continue to allow salt to be poured into your wounds.

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inthegarage Member

inthegarage

Posted
  • Author
Posted
For all intensive purposes; block her. This isn't a positive sign, this is an ex looking for an ego boost at your painful expense. Everyone wants to believe they are the exception but they never are. Don't continue to allow salt to be poured into your wounds.

 

hmmm a part of me doesn't want to respond, but the nice person in me just wants to respond out of courtesy

 

I mean she said after our breakup that I "can call her in a year if I want to", now she's contacting me 4 weeks after the breakup, which I find extremely odd

Geishawhelk Established Member

Geishawhelk

Posted
Posted

That's exactly what she's banking on: The nice person in you....

 

"Hey how are you?" - means "I know you are a nice guy and so I thought I'd just see how much control I have over your thought patterns because it would really give my ego a bit of a boost for me to try to yank your chain, and throw you breadcrumbs and have you respond - like the nice guy you are - just to show me I still got what it takes to get you to jump for me....."

 

She gave you a year?

GIve her two.

This is not on.

It's not the done thing, if she makes the rulkes up, she should abide by them.

 

I warn you now - I guarantee it - if you don't respond - AND I VERY STRONGLY ADVISE YOU NOT TO - She will come back with something like -

 

'Is anything wrong?'

'Did u get my messg?'

'Are you ok?'

'Is everything cool?'

'I just want to be friends'......

 

You watch.

See if I'm right.

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inthegarage Member

inthegarage

Posted
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Posted
That's exactly what she's banking on: The nice person in you....

 

"Hey how are you?" - means "I know you are a nice guy and so I thought I'd just see how much control I have over your thought patterns because it would really give my ego a bit of a boost for me to try to yank your chain, and throw you breadcrumbs and have you respond - like the nice guy you are - just to show me I still got what it takes to get you to jump for me....."

 

She gave you a year?

GIve her two.

This is not on.

It's not the done thing, if she makes the rulkes up, she should abide by them.

 

I warn you now - I guarantee it - if you don't respond - AND I VERY STRONGLY ADVISE YOU NOT TO - She will come back with something like -

 

'Is anything wrong?'

'Did u get my messg?'

'Are you ok?'

'Is everything cool?'

'I just want to be friends'......

 

You watch.

See if I'm right.

 

Maybe she's just being nice and wondering how a person she spent 3.5 years with is doing?

 

I don't think their is any games behind this or anything, and she certainly isn't trying to pimp up her ego or anything

 

I think maybe she's really starting to miss me, and she actually didn't think I would really give in to NO CONTACT...which I did

 

All I did after our breakup was send her a farewell email wishing her the best of luck in life and that maybe our paths will cross in the future sometime, or maybe not

 

Now, out of the blue she Emails me

 

I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't take her back, and maybe a part of me wants to do that.

 

So you guys are saying DON'T REPLY? If i want her jocking my **** once again, this is what I'm supposed to do?

Knight_Ctrl Established Member

Knight_Ctrl

Posted
Posted

Do what Geisha said. If Geisha is right then I would follow all following advice to the letter.

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inthegarage Member

inthegarage

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Do what Geisha said. If Geisha is right then I would follow all following advice to the letter.

 

so ignore the first email, but reply to the second? Or don't reply at all?

 

I mean if I want to successfully make her want me again this is the route I must take?

Alex_M Established Member

Alex_M

Posted
Posted

I know it's hard but honestly, forget about getting back together with her. If she comes back, then great. But don't hope that it will; pain and misery will ensue.

 

I myself didn't listen to the people on this site. I thought my GF was different. Oh god I was wrong, she probably wasn't doing it intentionally but every bit of contact was torture.

 

Don't message her back unless she's on your doorstep kicking and screaming to have you back.

not_a_happy_camper Established Member

not_a_happy_camper

Posted
Posted

unless she specifically indicates she wants you back, don't read into any of this. she will make her intentions known if that's what she wants.

 

and do NOT reply. you'll feel worse for it. do not reply to any message, as I said, unless she says she wants to talk about getting back together. then you can do her the courtesy of replying. otherwise...................all she wants is an ego boost. don't do it to yourself. you'll regret it. it's hard, but it will be harder on you if you reply.

Geishawhelk Established Member

Geishawhelk

Posted
Posted
so ignore the first email, but reply to the second? Or don't reply at all?

 

I mean if I want to successfully make her want me again this is the route I must take?

 

 

Don't reply to anything.

Don't respond to anything.

Don't acknowlege e-mails, text messages, IMs, telephone call messages, letters.....NOTHING.

 

Try to understand this:

 

When you make the decision to go NO CONTACT, it's not out of spite, it's not out of malice, it's not out of anger, it's not out of deciding to not be nice - It's to enable you to shift the habit of the love you had, and Move On.

 

She will never want you again.

If she broke it off, and now wants you back, she will say so.

You'll get a long message begging you to reconsider because she made a huge mistake, and she loves you and please.....

 

But that's a whole different story.

It hasn't happened - and it's not likely to happen.

 

I know it will tear at you heart with desire and desperation - but in any event, you need to heal from this break-up.

And the way to do that is to remove the arrow, and let the wound heal.

And you don't permit the wound to heal if you keep poking the arrow-head back in......

 

YOU need to heal.

YOU need to get over this.

 

'No contact' is nothing against her.

 

'No contact' is everything for you.

Justmike101 Established Member

Justmike101

Posted
Posted

this guy is going to email her back if he already haven't.

 

::awaits a new heartbreak post::

Habibti Established Member

Habibti

Posted
Posted
hmmm a part of me doesn't want to respond, but the nice person in me just wants to respond out of courtesy

 

I mean she said after our breakup that I "can call her in a year if I want to", now she's contacting me 4 weeks after the breakup, which I find extremely odd

 

The nice person? No, the vulnerable person inside you wants to respond. You're deluding yourself hoping this means she wants to get back together with you. I said it once, I guess I'll say it again - EVERYONE, not just you but EVERYONE wants to believe they are the one exception where there ex isn't looking to get some quick validation or an ego stroke- but genuinely wants them back.

 

You're going to do nothing but hurt yourself if you give in and do this.

Habibti Established Member

Habibti

Posted
Posted
this guy is going to email her back if he already haven't.

 

::awaits a new heartbreak post::

 

Sad but true, I think so.

smookie

smookie

Posted
Posted

She loves me as a friend, as a brother, she never had that passionate feeling of 'crazy love'.

 

I even did a ton of ******* type stuff that I'm not necessarily proud of, for instance:

 

- I would never let her rent a movie she wanted to see, no way was i sitting through gay romantic comedies

 

- I didn't really compliment her all that often, even when she got dressed up and whatnot

 

- I really wasn't that romantic at all, hell I didn't even get her anything for V-Day last year

 

- A lot of the time I was being selfish, making her feel bad when I wanted to have sex and she was tired, or overreacting about things when we would take trips together

 

 

 

Now you want to talk to her? WHY?

 

What are you doing to yourself?

Goatsbreath Established Member

Goatsbreath

Posted
Posted
Her email just says, Hey: How are you ??

 

Maybe she forgot that she broke up with you! wtf......how the hell does she think you are

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