sweetappl2 Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 Well several of you may have read my agonizing posts over this guy for the past few months. I've gotten to my breaking point and I just can't do it anymore. I deserve and am worth so much more than what he puts me through. Just a quick recap: - We broke up in Sept, saying he needed to figure out his life and finances, etc... he decided on the coast guard - Its been "push" and "pull" since that day, with him being jealous and accusing me of seeing other guys yet he won't committ, or when he gets upset at me, will ignore me for a few days - I think everything can be explained in this article, I have since found this since I last posted. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/6679/whats_up_with_the_passive_aggressive.html?cat=5 I feel like this is him in a nutshell and it pretty much explains everything. - Whatever he says is so inconsistant, it just never lines up - I'm always the person to blame. Heaven forbid, I called him out on ONE thing and now I'm the devil... despite he's the one that has been treating me like dirt for the past four months w/ his stress. He said I "messed up big time"... - Feels the need to get back at me, or feels like i am trying to get back at him - He never does ANYTHING wrong, and if I call him on it he somehow turns it all back on me - Can be the sweetest person ever, but then be angry (aggressive) and it hurts so bad This statement stands out the most to me: The man with passive aggressive actions is a master manipulator when it comes to getting his partner to doubt herself and feel guilty for questioning or confronting him. He very talented at getting her to fall for his apologies, accept his excuses and focus on his charm rather than deal with the issue directly. He blames her for creating the problem and keeps her focused on her anger rather than his own ineptitude. He keeps his partner held hostage by the hope that he will change. He may give into her and clean up his act after a blow up for several weeks, but then it's back to business as usual. SO.... I can't do this anymore. I have so much anxiety... my chest hurts and its been this way for months. I can't sleep anymore without drinking or needing a sleeping pill to feel intense relief. Any suggestions on how to deal with this? This is only temporary... i know there are underlining issues and I've been on anti-anxiety meds and depression meds before, and I am not going that route agian. Next, I don't know how to deal with him. I get so sick of him being so unreliable. He always tells me he is so busy. But yet he can go out and do things and go places but he can't text me. I'm so tired of him saying he cares, but yet he never asks me how my new job is, how's school, or things like that. ALl he does is think of himself, and his excuse is "i've been busy". He always makes up excuse after excuse after excuse... and they are never consistant like the article says. Thing is, I want to be done w/ this. But he still has some things of mine, movies and he owes me $400. So that this can end well and hopefully I can get my things back, how should I handle this? I've asked and told him to bring it to work. He says he brings it everyday, but yet the day when I actually show up, he "forgot". Its stuff like that I can't stand, the inconsistency. I don't know whether to tell him off about everything, and the fact that he treats me like **** and how... or to just let it go. For the long run, I still want to talk so I can eventually get my things and money back. Right now, I feel like he'll just use it hostage, and I KNOW if I ask while he's in this state, there is no way I will get my money back and it will be World War III and I will probably have a heart attack from all the stress. So what do you suggest is the best way to handle this? I'm at my limit, I can't live with this anymore. I never smile, I am so anxious with chest pains, I cannot allow him to have control over my life like this anymore. What do I do or say to him when he does call or text? Please help me out here, I am desperate! I need to feel free from this emotional burden. This is not an ordinary guy, he has some serious issues. And I need to know the best way to handle this situation to have the best outcome. As far as getting my things back, because I need to be on his "good" side... read the article and you'll understand
oceangrl Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 No amount of money is worth the type of unhappiness that you describe... I would just leave, and let it go. Forget the money. Your health is more important.
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