uRabbit Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I've been single for over a month now. Got out of a 2.5 year relationship. Basically, she left me. Said she wasn't happy. I cannot figure out what I did wrong, and we've talked about it and all she can come up with was that we argued. When we didn't live together, we *NEVER* argued. Things were great. We saw eye-to-eye on everything. Then we move in together, and we begin arguing every now and then. Maybe once or twice a week. Never shouting matches; usually disagreements. Then it got worse. She'd begin shutting me out. I'd try to resolve the issue by conversing with her, but I was always shut down. I was tired of it, but I stuck to it. Even after a month of having no sex (which is important to me, and we've always had a healthy sex life). Then it came Christmas time. It'd be my first "true" Christmas, because I was raised Jehovah's Witness. They don't celebrate anything. Well, we got the tree and what-not. The day we got the tree, things were great. When I began to cut the bottom, I realized the saw was too dull. So, instead of getting frustrated with it, I decided to just sit down. She got upset, for reasons unknown to me. Came home from work the next day and she was gone. Now she's been dating this other guy almost as long as we've been broken up. Anyways... I want to make sure this type of thing does not happen to me again. I do not want to be the only one who tries. I have great communication skills and I use them. I want her to as well. I'm always the first to call, first to kiss, first to ask how their day was, etc. For once, I want to be pursued. For once, I want the effort directed towards pleasing me. This is not to say I'll just get lazy and not do what I always do. Haha. So what's a guy to do? I've tried the method of getting to know each other slowly. I've tried the method of just laying it all out on the table. Seems all the women I get to know are exactly the same.
oceangrl Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 We saw eye-to-eye on everything. Then we move in together, and we begin arguing every now and then. Maybe once or twice a week. Never shouting matches; usually disagreements. What are examples of things you fought about? My guess is that she saw incompatibilities between the two of you and you might not have been aware of them. When I began to cut the bottom, I realized the saw was too dull. So, instead of getting frustrated with it, I decided to just sit down. She got upset, for reasons unknown to me. Maybe she was already seeing someone else and finding excuses to argue....to make herself feel less guilty for leaving?
Author uRabbit Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 I don't know, but I want to know how to find someone who won't do this to me again. Every woman I've been with has been similar to this.
d0ll Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 I don't know, but I want to know how to find someone who won't do this to me again. Every woman I've been with has been similar to this. i'm not sure there is a way relationships [life] are about taking chances just get to know the person well before you become 'exclusive'
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