Zammo25 Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Woman can be hard, cold and cruel creatures. I think from my experiences Women can move on and cut ties much easier than Men. Men are supposed to be the stronger but when it comes to relationship breakdowns and dumping, Women are definately the crueler sex. They can move on and leave you out with the garbage and change from supposedly loving you one day and before you know it the next dy its over , finished , no turning back. Do people agree with this statement ?.
againstallodds Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Depend on the girl. Not all of them are like that. It's better that they don't turn back and try to contact you though. The cruel one are the one who lead you on and string you along.
neverlost Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Kinda, bit I'm probably biased because of them doing this to me. But also remember they usually have a better support base, when they break up all the other women come around taking their mind off things, letting them cry it out, telling them it's for the best. And the guy, well, he can't really cry... he usually has to go it alone, and if he does see his friends probably gets a pat on the back and a "it'll be ok, how about a beer?" But I don't know... for me to stop loving the girl I guess we would have to argue and argue really badly everyday for me to break it off. Seems like (in my experiance) she tells me she loves me Wednesday and on Thursday she treats me like a stranger. -neverlost
Trialbyfire Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I disagree that women can be more cruel, when it comes to relationship break up. You'll find that there's a contingent of people, both male and female, who don't have a clue or are incapable of breaking up in a mature manner. That's why there's so few people who are friends with their exes. No one wants to admit their own responsibilities towards the cessation of a relationship. Everyone else is the evil one.
Truly Lost Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I don't think women are crueler when it comes to breaking up, but I think women handle it a lot better. When a man gets dumped, I've noticed that they don't rush to discuss the details of the break up with anyone. They devulge only the necessary info to their friend or sister/brother but then keep it bottled up. As if showing your feelings is a true weakness. Slowly driving yourself crazy, till you eventually explode. Women rush to devulge all of the details to anyone who will listen. Women, when they really want something, like to break up with their boyfriend, will think it through thouroughly. Unless there the type to use breaking up as a threat. Bad idea. If a woman is getting dumped, usually she will know its coming. But it doesn't make it any more or less painfull. I think guys are crueler personally. Everytime I split with an ex that wasn't my choice the guy was heartless. One guy just left and never told me it was over, just never picked up his phone for me again and never returned any of my calls. The night before we said our "love yous" and "see you tomorrow". I wasn't expecting to be completely abandoned. He did eventually call me late after drinking one night to apologize for what he did, but I still got no comfort in that. I think he either got back with his ex or met someone else he preferred more than me. Either way I was crushed. It took me nearly a year to get over that. Actually it took meeting someone else to really get over. Now me and this new guy are now over.
sedgwick Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I disagree completely. I am a woman who has almost always been the one to get my heart broken. I've had a couple of guys turn into someone else overnight and be cold, cruel, and heartless. I've never done that to anyone.
justletgo07 Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I disagree. Breakups are messy things, no matter how they are handled. Some people can walk away and never look back. Some people try to stay friends, or keep the person they left around to use as a crutch or security blanket. Gender doesn't really matter. It totally depends on the person, and how they deal with stressful situations. It's normal to be angry or feel betrayed by someone who has left you. Doesn't make them a bad person; just a person.
Trialbyfire Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Some people try to stay friends, or keep the person they left around to use as a crutch or security blanket. Your post made me realize that I should clarify. After every break up, people should always take some time to move on. If the break up is handled in a mature way, you'll find that being friends in the future, is far more likely since there's no unreasonable bashing of each other. In essence, you retain a reasonable level of respect for each other's positive traits.
Peter_pan Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 agree. its a tough one to call but i would mainly agree
nature Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 It depends on the break up. If the woman breaks up with the man because he's been an arse or taking her for granted, then she will probably be very cold....Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. If an man dumps a woman with no reasoning, often the woman is devestated and sad, rather than mad. Really depends. I think men are better at masking their pain and pretending they don't hurt. Women blab and cry and talk and get it out. Men go along each day acting like they are fine to their friends and family. From what I've seen, anyways.
fral945 Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Crueler? No. It really could go either way. I think men and women react differently to breakups, but women are no more crueler in general.
lofi_tokyo Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I agree with everyone saying it can go either way. I would also like to add that I don't think people are inherently cruel (generally), even though it may seem like it. Chances are, in any situation where the dumper moves on quickly, the dumper has had thoughts of a breakup running through their mind for a while, so theyre kind of desensitized to the loss already. Not many people break up suddenly and out of no where - in fact, I would venture to say no one in that is happy in their relationship just walks out of it. Though you may not have seen in coming, they sure did. Why end a good thing out of the blue? ;p
You'reasian Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Woman can be hard, cold and cruel creatures. I think from my experiences Women can move on and cut ties much easier than Men. Men are supposed to be the stronger but when it comes to relationship breakdowns and dumping, Women are definately the crueler sex. They can move on and leave you out with the garbage and change from supposedly loving you one day and before you know it the next dy its over , finished , no turning back. Do people agree with this statement ?. It can go either way. I've seen dumper and dumpee split up and go off unaffected both ways.
Weird Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Your post made me realize that I should clarify. After every break up, people should always take some time to move on. If the break up is handled in a mature way, you'll find that being friends in the future, is far more likely since there's no unreasonable bashing of each other. In essence, you retain a reasonable level of respect for each other's positive traits. Pffft. There is no point in trying to be friends with an ex regardless if both have moved on. in fact, I would say trying to be friends means one or both parties haven't moved on. I say this for relationships that went on for say 1yr+ and involved sex. The reason I say there is no point is because there is no real future to it. Say people break up and do the friends thing while single but the minute one party gets involved with someone else then what? The involved party has their new person, the other party will now have thoughts about their ex with another person (as a guy this one is bad...no guy wants to think of his ex being humped by another guy even if he doesn't have any interest in a 2nd chance with her) and the new person will wonder why his/her mate is friends with their ex. It just does not make any sense and even if it may last for a bit it won't for long term and what is the point of wanting a friend whom you know won't be long term? The whole friends with an ex thing is just not natural. I know some make it work but the majority don't. As for the OP, I wouldn't say women are crueler since that is just a generalization but obviously some can be just like some guys are huge pricks. If I did have to make a "definitive statement" though I would say as a whole that women are more selfish than guys meaning women do not really care what a guy thinks as long as they are happy. I think the problem is women in general do not even grasp that guys have feelings so they don't clue in. Sure there are guys that will be jerks and not give a crap if their ex or another woman is hurt but most guys do care about this and will try and avoid stuff that could result in the woman being hurt, ie, trying to be friends with an ex. The avg guy will think about it and realize it probably will end badly so he avoids it while a woman will want to do it because I don't know, maybe doing it at the time makes her think she is being nice (she will say to herself that she is wanting this guy in her life so she isn't mean) and fulfills some wish she has at the time....she just wont think about the long term issues that may happen. Every guy I know (including myself) that has tried to be friends with an ex got screwed over because the woman did not think about it and she gets involved with another guy and treats the ex guy like crap.
Trialbyfire Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 There is no point in trying to be friends with an ex regardless if both have moved on. This sentence says it all, weird. If you never honestly liked an ex as a friend, even when you were lovers, there would be no need, want or desire for friendship.
Ramrod Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Males are designed to form a strong early attachment and bond to the female, this is why men generally speaking, fall deeper, harder and faster in love than women, it's all related to our collective desire to propagate and assure the survival of the species. Women, on the other hand, take longer to form these bonds and attachments, it's all a part of natural selection, in case of the female, she needs to and is designed to be capable of casting off these bonds and attachments if she feels the male she's with no longer meets certain criteria which is necessary for her survival and of course, the survival of any existing or potential off-spring. It's all about natural selection bro'. If you lose your job, gain weight or lose your erection she's been pre-programmed to get out of that relationship in an instant. The short answer is yes, women can turn it on and off like a tap. Does this make them mean and cold-hearted? Perhaps. But it's by design, for the good of the species. Just the same as when the two of you are aging together, when she's over-the-hill and you'll find yourself developing a desire to be with women of a much younger age than her. It's all completely natural. Why fight it?
You'reasian Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I've heard the opposite theory: that men want to spread their seed to as many partners as possible, whereas women desire deeper bonds.
burning 4 revenge Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Males are designed to form a strong early attachment and bond to the female, this is why men generally speaking, fall deeper, harder and faster in love than women, it's all related to our collective desire to propagate and assure the survival of the species. Women, on the other hand, take longer to form these bonds and attachments, it's all a part of natural selection, in case of the female, she needs to and is designed to be capable of casting off these bonds and attachments if she feels the male she's with no longer meets certain criteria which is necessary for her survival and of course, the survival of any existing or potential off-spring. It's all about natural selection bro'. If you lose your job, gain weight or lose your erection she's been pre-programmed to get out of that relationship in an instant. The short answer is yes, women can turn it on and off like a tap. Does this make them mean and cold-hearted? Perhaps. But it's by design, for the good of the species. Just the same as when the two of you are aging together, when she's over-the-hill and you'll find yourself developing a desire to be with women of a much younger age than her. It's all completely natural. Why fight it? There may be something to this, yes
Ramrod Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 The reason males form these stronger attachments, is because when we "spread our seed" and the female develops physical limitations as a result of pregnancy, we males will "stick around long enough" to provide support for the female and the off-spring. In the case of both the male and female, once the off-spring is old enough that it shows signs of being able to fend for itself, both have a tendency to develop a wandering eye (4-7 years), hence the seven year itch. When I was a younger man I would find myself attracted to older women, those who were old enough to be pre-menopausal, because of the phermones they put off at that time, again, nature in play, their losing their ability to breed, so biologically speaking, there wanting to procreate just as bad as a young man. This is why when women hit men-o-pause, and become more masculine, at least chemically, we men begin to gravitate sexually to younger and younger women, like eighteen years old, while that interest may be age-inappropriate, as far as survival of the species goes, it's all good. It's not your fault. Just be sure to act like a whiny loser around this girl. Man-up and move-on. If anything will be bring her back it's your appearing to be strong enough to survive without her. Tighter butt cheeks, flatter abs and more money will bring her back. Go hit the gym and find a better job if you want to capture her interest again. Good luck bro'!
Ramrod Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 Should read be sure to NOT act like a whiny loser...LOL (whoops!)
You'reasian Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 The reason males form these stronger attachments, is because when we "spread our seed" and the female develops physical limitations as a result of pregnancy, we males will "stick around long enough" to provide support for the female and the off-spring. In the case of both the male and female, once the off-spring is old enough that it shows signs of being able to fend for itself, both have a tendency to develop a wandering eye (4-7 years), hence the seven year itch.! It can go either way. I've met a few young, single mom's - not because they really, really wanted to be - mostly because they've picked a guy still trying to spread his seed, rather than a stable provider. Men's reproductive capabilities last decades longer than womens, add to it the world's oldest profession is largely catered towards men. When I was a younger man I would find myself attracted to older women, those who were old enough to be pre-menopausal, because of the phermones they put off at that time, again, nature in play, their losing their ability to breed, so biologically speaking, there wanting to procreate just as bad as a young man. This is why when women hit men-o-pause, and become more masculine, at least chemically, we men begin to gravitate sexually to younger and younger women, like eighteen years old, while that interest may be age-inappropriate, as far as survival of the species goes, it's all good. Pheremones? You're off target, my friend. Guys like older women because they're straight & narrow - no games, no BS for the most part. They've got their hormones in check and have enough life experience to know what they want.
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