lemondrop Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I've been reading others, and I see we all go through this heartache...just wondering what others think of my recent hurt? To keep it short and simple myself and girl attract hit it off great everyday was great, you know txts, emails, hugs kisses yeah...anyway I was the best boyfriend she everyhad is what she told me and just from what i learned and did for her she greatly appreciated it from the little things(compliments) to big things(a unexpected gift). She reeled me in like a fish...she told me I was everything she wanted, i wasn't going anywhere, asked if i believed in love at first sight all that crap...told me she loved me...at that point I'm like that word gets abused and thrown around don't use it if you don't mean it. Oh she meant it! (what she told me at least) By the way it's a short relationship this was the third month...but she had me head over heels for her. Well one morning i went to visit and she say's "I'm not sure I want to be in another serious relationship". So here i go WTF i mean just the other day you wanted to go to the movies(what I'm saying in my head which is true). She just hit me out the blue with this. I played it calm, I asked her what should i do...of course she just wants time. Alright so I get some of my stuff and a hug go on my way. The next day txt from her...miss you. Dont want to play this so I call, try to get a understanding...Do i wait, move on to sum it up...she replies...dont wait because not fair to you! Damn she's good..but she knows i want her. She is going to school, has a son...with a no good dad, about to move, and a couple of other personal issues she wants to take care of so this is the main root of the break up at the moment. I justed wanted to be there, you know help and support(Cuz I'm a good guy) A day or two go bye hadn't really spoke so i'm hurt and go get some alcohol in me. Yes, i get mad wanna talk...go by her place unannounced...piss her off. Not my intentions at all..but thats how it endend up. I felt bad, i wasn't strong I was hurt. Sent flowers to her place apologizing the next morning, but never heard from her, a few days later called didn't get answer but left the usual wanted to say hi see how you are doing, still nothing. It's been 2 weeks NC, I want her in my life but i don't want to push it, i tell myself if she doesn't care to know how I am y should I care of her. But at the same time i know she's is getting herself together and I have this hope that when she's done, she'll call me...because yes I was simply everything to her. There is no other guy in the picture, and what i did that one night i don't think was enough to make her hate me...so am i doing right by giving her time? Am i waiting on something that isn't going to happen? Why when women have a good thing they throw it away? Writing this just pissed me off...women are cruel creatures...but i want one so bad!
neverlost Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 They have issues to sort out first, things to get over, get their heads straight etc. EXCUSES. All excuses. If you had all these things to sort out, wouldn't it be better to have your partner supporting you through them rather than adding to your problems and losing them? Sorry my reply is so negative. My partner told me I was the best thing ever to her and how lucky she was to have me... I never lied to her, cheated on her, never did anything bad at all. All her other partners did. Yet she throws it all away. THANKS! I think most people will tell you, you are waiting on something that isn't going to happen. You and her are over and you need to move on. The longer you "wait on her" the longer your pain is going to be. You don't need to be a good guy right now, she doesn't want a sloppy little puppy. She has no fear of losing you when you are being held on a string waiting for her. No contact at all, maybe then she'll realise she is going to lose you and misses you. But seriously, don't count on that -neverlost
Author lemondrop Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 Your reply isn't negative...it's true. If i knew i had someone who cared to help me through thick and thin...i wouldn't toss it. The fact that I hear so many women are looking for this prince charming, or knight in shining armour, or just a man that will treat them right...once it's there in thier face they rip your heart out! And at the same time I see women get dogged..but for some reason they stay with that crap. WTF
Joyvke Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 They have issues to sort out first, things to get over, get their heads straight etc. EXCUSES. All excuses. If you had all these things to sort out, wouldn't it be better to have your partner supporting you through them rather than adding to your problems and losing them? Sorry my reply is so negative. My partner told me I was the best thing ever to her and how lucky she was to have me... I never lied to her, cheated on her, never did anything bad at all. All her other partners did. Yet she throws it all away. THANKS! I think most people will tell you, you are waiting on something that isn't going to happen. You and her are over and you need to move on. The longer you "wait on her" the longer your pain is going to be. You don't need to be a good guy right now, she doesn't want a sloppy little puppy. She has no fear of losing you when you are being held on a string waiting for her. No contact at all, maybe then she'll realise she is going to lose you and misses you. But seriously, don't count on that -neverlost So true and recognising that bit. I don't think it's negative though. My "friend" actually did let me know he missed me alot and he cried when I wanted to break it off for good because I couldn't take it anymore. Next time I'll let friendships bleed to death again, less painfull. Just as Neverlost said, don't count on it. She sounds she's having you right where she wants you to be, which isn't good. Also it's not just females being so idiotic by tossing something away that's been good for them, guys are just as much an idiot regarding that. Heck, people are idiots for that matter! Sometimes they realise that and sometimes, well, sometimes they won't.
Template Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 You know, this very thing seems to happen a lot to the people here on this board. Everything seemed great, or not as bad as you thought, love your here, love you there... future plans.. then BAM out of the blue "I don't know what I want"... etc. It's heartbreaking, because you've invested your heart and soul into something, and what do you get out of your investment. NOTHING!! (We'll talk about learning about yourself and finding personal happines, etc. later on... ) The cold hard truth, is girls, and guys, are a fickle bunch, and we really cannot control (or should) their actions and emotions. We do what we do to the best of our ability, and a lot of times WE are the ones getting hurt. That does not make us more or less of an individual. We take out lickings, learn, get stronger, and move on to people who ultimately are better people. We deserve people who are willing to love us as we are willing to love them, and we deserve nothing less.
Author lemondrop Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 Thanks you guys...like i said I'm two weeks into NC, and yeah I'm feeling better about myself, which is the key. I guess it isn't a bad thing to care about the other, because you know your heart is in the right place. Hopefully, the ex is doing good and she misses me...if not oh well. Someone will love me for me one day...and they'll get that same unconditional love back!
lonelygurl Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 you mentioned her saying she wasn't sure about another long term relationship. was she recently out of one? I know at this point it doesn't matter and I'm sorry you are hurting. who knows why people do this. It isn't just women who do it, it is men to. Men and women are equally cruel. Do you best to stay NC as hard as it is, it really is the best thing you can do for YOU to heal!!
Author lemondrop Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 you mentioned her saying she wasn't sure about another long term relationship. was she recently out of one? I know at this point it doesn't matter and I'm sorry you are hurting. who knows why people do this. It isn't just women who do it, it is men to. Men and women are equally cruel. Do you best to stay NC as hard as it is, it really is the best thing you can do for YOU to heal!! She was in one with her babies father for two yrs. then when i met her she was apart from him for six months, but claimed she didn't want him for a longer peroid of time. And i take back what i say about women being cruel(just anger) and yes both men/women just become mean(how about that)sometimes
lonelygurl Posted January 24, 2009 Posted January 24, 2009 nothing wrong with venting anger we all do it!! I just wondered if her sudden cut off had something to do with her past relationship if it hadn't been so long ago, or if you were a rebound. Hard to know what people are thinking when they tell you nothing. You may eventually find out the truth. I know the first time my X dumped me it was because he said he needed time apart.....basically to work on himself and his depression and for almost 2 months I allowed him to be wishy washy. I was the fool because I found out later he had a new girlfriend and once he thought things were in place I was out for good....but found out after the fact. I think love sux!!!
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