OCCDAVE Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Last night i text my ex saying whens a good day with you so i can get my stuff.She replied wednesday but then later replied saying it wasnt a good day so she said friday the 30th and gave a time between 11 am and 3.Did i do the right thing by letting her pick a day and time i feel she may see it as a victory and might be like ya i still got him.I didnt start any convo just to the point about my stuff nc is still intact right:)
ColorCube Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 You broke NC, NC means no contact and texting someone is contact. If your "STUFF" is just crap like toothbrush or a few clothes then let it go if it is personal effects that are worth real money like an IPOD then meet up with her and get it over with. Pulling the bandaid off quickly is the best action. Don't use this meetup as a reason to beg for her back.
Ronni_W Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Dave, Yep, you did it the best way possible . Giving other people "options" when you don't give a crap about what they decide, anyway, is an excellent negotiating tactic. Even if she feels as if she has "won" something, that's just in HER head. It is actually your victory for having used a positive strategy to get what you want...which is your stuff, and nothing more or less. Well done!
Author OCCDAVE Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 You broke NC, NC means no contact and texting someone is contact. If your "STUFF" is just crap like toothbrush or a few clothes then let it go if it is personal effects that are worth real money like an IPOD then meet up with her and get it over with. Pulling the bandaid off quickly is the best action. Don't use this meetup as a reason to beg for her back.I dont want her back but i did need to text her to know when i could get my stuff right after all its worth over 1000.I felt cause i didnt spark a convo it meant nc was intact
Geishawhelk Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I think you played it right. You didn't say "I'm coming over wednesday to pick up my stuff" which would have sounded in-your-face and a bit arrogant. You were respectful and gave her the option, without being fawning or whingey. And she told you. Clearly, concisely and specifically. Stick to that time-frame. Go equipped ready to pick up and leave. Hello, thanks, and goodbye. Done.
lonelygurl Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I think you handled it the best way you could. If you need to get your stuff you needed to break NC and if it is at her place it is going to have to be sort of when it is a time when it works for her. I just went through this with my X. He had to get his stuff out, but I made him have movers come for the bulk of it. Stuff that was missed he has come twice now to pick up. Good luck....also....I see nothing wrong with you taking friends/family for support if you need it. Do what you need to do.
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