besly98 Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Hi All, well.. where do i start. [FONT=Arial]My Girlfriend is from argentina and we were together in London for 1.5 years, when she eventually had to leave the country for visa issues. She has Italian family so she went to Italy for 4 months to get the passport. I visited her every month and eventually she got the passport and decided to go back to argentina to see her family etc. Whilst she was in italy she was literally all alone and I think mentally this had some bad effects. So when she gets back to argentina she is going out all the time with her mates and not really spending much time with her family etc. Anyhow I noticed that she was not calling me.. not email me… not really caring much. It turns out she was very confused about her feelings for me….(which previously had always been so strong) and was not sure on her return. We split up over the phone.. where she confessed that she had kissed another rguy when she was drunk!… after 3 months she returned with the view to ending the relationship. Once she arrived in London and was back at our hour whrre we lived together she started to get her feelings back.. but was still confused as she feels her life is in argentina……[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]A week or two ago she decided that she had to be with her family to clear her head so we both went over to Argentina where I got the chance to meet her family for the first time etc.. We had the bst week ever and I had to return to London while she stays there now. She says she sees her immediate future there.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]I have been back for 3 dyas and to be honest its been ok… she has called me.. text me.. made the effort and said the things that I want to hear. Can a relationship work like this. I plan to go back in april… she can come here july.. and so on.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]What scares me…. Is that it is just too far.. and maybe not seeing eachother for 3 months the relationship will start to fade.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Can anyone give me some advice?[/FONT]
kimflute26 Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Unfortunately it's not a good sign that she lost interest in you to the point of ending the relationship.......... My boyfriend and I have had stretches of time apart but we never lost the love for each other. She also kissed another guy which doesn't say anything good about her either. If she would be willing to keep putting lots of effort into the relationship i suppose it could work... however if it were me, i wouldn't want to be with someone who goes out and gets drunk enough to cheat on me.
Author besly98 Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 The problem is that we do love eachother and she was very messed up at that time. i guess things could be different... but i just dont want to put myself forward for more pain. so im a bit confused
Carmen82 Posted February 3, 2009 Posted February 3, 2009 As a female I have to say that being inn a long distance relationship is very emotionally unbalancing. I have been in an LDR for 3 years and I kissed somebody else once too, a confused and irrational mistake that thankfully i was forgiven for. I'm now engaged to my boyf and the trust is back so it can work. If your girlfriend loves you like I love my finacee you will find a way to make it work. My boyf is in Nigeria and I am in Birmingham (UK) and we see eachother every 3 months for a month or so, it's not so bad once you get in to the routine, the key is to keep communicating and be totally honest about your feelings. Just be very upfront with your girlf about your feelings and what future you want with her. I wish you luck and I hope it works out for you.
Author besly98 Posted February 4, 2009 Author Posted February 4, 2009 Thank you. I now have the added factor that i found out my mum has terminal cancer and may die in the next 3 months or sooner. This has caulsed me no end of stress and emotion as you can imagian. She has been very supportive but my emotions are running wild... and if i text her and she does not reply. or does not call me in an evening i get pissed off.... but in the great scheme of things. one day is neither here nor there is it. most the time im upset when we speak which is no good either. but its hard to be positive when your going through such a tough time. loosign your loved one and losing you mum at the same time, is a very very very tough thing to go through. one of them on there own is bad enough!
KikiW Posted February 4, 2009 Posted February 4, 2009 I am so sorry to hear about your mom that has to be very stressful, on top of all this other emotional stuff. Can I suggest finding a counselor who can help you deal with all of this? I know you would like to rely on this girl, but she may not be able to provide what you need during this period of your life. As much as people generally want to be helpful and compassionate to others, she may not be able to meet your needs and rather than getting upset with her for it, having someone to talk to about it all may be a better option. My very best wishes, keep us updated.
Author besly98 Posted February 4, 2009 Author Posted February 4, 2009 thank you. i have close friends and of course family. but there is no substitute for having here with me..... thats another problem to face.... and i cant go see her incase somethign happens while im away.. and she cant come here.
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